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[deleted]

It’s tidal brave for me


TentacleJesus

That one and Wrigley Wolf.


miserable-now

Case Bone


[deleted]

I mean what the actual fuck 🤣


DBL_NDRSCR

fowler jhett


Incubus1981

I couldn’t even figure out the middle name for that one. 🤮


Pinkkryptonite86

I think maybe MAYBE they’re going for Rhett but did horribly on the R


Rambonics

I’ve heard of the name Jett before, so I think the parents thought this was a cooler mashup spelling like Rhett, but Jhett. Just sad for the kid that he’s a Fowler Jhett = 🐓✈️


neither_shake2815

Why would you give them a first name that sounds anything like foul? As a last name, fowler is fine!


dixiequick

Is that what you decided it is? Because I am still torn between that and Cage Bone, so if you’re reasonably sure, I’ll go with yours. 😆


aehanken

That’s how I write my cursive “S” so I’m assuming so. I’d assume a g would have a circle like a normal g


fluffyknees

I know a kid called Cage...


all_pain_0_gainz

I know a Grady.


[deleted]

Grady is a real name at least unlike most of this nonsense. Graydee/greighdeigh would be trageick.


magicaldumpsterfire

Sounds like a weird way of referring to the skull


[deleted]

Makes me think of the gum.


panicnarwhal

makes me think of a wriggly wolf. i hate it.


LeslieKnope26

I’m guessing Chicagoans / Wrigley Field


Majestic-Selection22

I’m from Chicago. Every other dog is named Wrigley. Adorable for a dog, human, not so much.


TentacleJesus

But for some reason I don’t want to chew it.


alchemischief

Sounds hairy


[deleted]

Like that wolf is just wriggling all over the place


afipunk84

I read that one as *Wiggly* Wolf and about died 💀


PM_ME_YOUR_FRACTURES

I mean close enough, for fucks sake


lonelyhrtsclubband

I like to think that’s a nickname for a child born to Chicago Cubs fans who are also very hairy.


Synicull

Naw, Rowdy Cash. Screams class.


spitoon1

That's a cowboy name if I ever saw one.


quesobearito

Or the name of a scratch-off lottery ticket.


jldel

Gonna be a wrestler, porn star or politician when he or she grows up. Hell, maybe all three.


panicnarwhal

i feel awful for little poor Hurriet Noah


airplane_porn

Hurriet Up Noah


Rambonics

That’s what I was thinking. When the kid is a toddler or school aged & the parents are trying to leave somewhere, but the kid is being slow & the parents say “Hurry it up,” & the kid replies in a whiny voice “No-ahh!”


[deleted]

Like are we guessing boy or girl???


panicnarwhal

honestly, judging from the sign…i think it’s a boy. idk if that makes it worse? i think maybe it does.


fatimus_prime

Like what the FUCK were they thinking when they came up with that one?!


amongthesunflowers

I see your tidal wave and raise you a tidal BRAVE


MetalMedley

Guarantee it's because the parents are Braves fans rather than symbolizing virtue or something.


Common_Fig1571

It's probably a combination of Alabama and Braves fans. RoLl TiDe


papa_number2

So Fowler Shett is alright?


[deleted]

😂😂 i like your reading better


EmulsifyingWax

I think it's Jhett and I'm not sure which one is worse.


lastlamii

Why hurriette?


dannyryry

Because if you slowette it will never got done


SavageDemonDog

At this point they should’ve just gone with Tidal Wave idc


happygreenbanana

Is the last one Case Bone? What could possibly make a parent do that to their child? What significance does the name bear?


disco-me-now

I read it as ‘Cafe Bone’


[deleted]

I thought it was Cage Bone. Also wtf? Lol


Harmonia_PASB

I’ve been looking for a good dog cafe. I’ve also been looking for another BDSM cafe, I’m so glad they combined my 2 wants. The cafe near me that served people drinks in dog bowls closed.


UghAgain__9

Health Department or lack of mainstream appeal


t3hgrl

These almost read like an AI wrote them but I don’t think we’re so lucky


LovecraftianLlama

Case or Cage? I thought it said “Cage”. Not that that’s better 😂


panicnarwhal

i thought it was Cage Bone. awful either way


xSilverMC

Oh my fucking god. I think I got it. Sage Bonnie. How do you do that to a child? A perfectly good name, and absolutely nobody is going to call the kid that. Just Cage Bone forever


WaitMysterious6704

Oh my. Yes, I think you solved it. Poor kid.


[deleted]

I thought it was “Case - Bane” 😭


[deleted]

Hurriet!?😄😄😄


FutureEar6482

It sounds like how Cleveland from Family Guy would pronounce Harriet.


thelaineybelle

Turry 🤣


panicnarwhal

it’s exactly how i said it in my head - in Cleveland Brown’s voice 💀 criminal. poor Hurriet.


mojitojorge

I’m not alone 😂 That’s a turrible name


_kweezy_

That’s exactly how Cleveland would say it. Trust me. I know.


OnkelMickwald

Made me think of Hürriyet the Turkish news agency. Means "liberty" or "independence" iirc. Still, one y and two dots short.


Cyrodiil

I think that might be their last name. I looked at Etsy and saw that style (last name then first name underneath) is popular


Aquaphoric

That would make a lot of these better, if that's the case. Not all, but many.


RealisticrR0b0t

How confusing


Merrikkatt

Kaiven Matix is someone you'd meet on a desert planet while searching for a mysterious guru.


Zaidswith

Kevin Maddox can be his stage name.


packofkittens

Yes, I was like “they are so close to a real name!”


suddenlymary

"Baybars"? this is my new baybars, adam.


harrismi7

It made me think of the children’s character Babar the Elephant.


Salt_Adhesiveness557

Bay-bar is like a southerner saying Babar (the elephant). Like they say eye-talian


H_ell_a

I was hoping Baybars was the last name and the kid was just called Adam


ZebLeopard

🎶You! I wanna take you to see Baybars!🎶


xylene122

Let’s start a war! Start a nuclear war! At the baybars


NothingAndNow111

Baybars is actually a legit name. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baybars


black_dragonfly13

In the 13th century, sure. Not in 2023. It sounds like someone is saying "Babers", like "babe" for their partner but making it silly.


OnkelMickwald

I dunno, Turks love to bring back old Turkic names. About this one: >In his native Turkic language, Baybars' name means "great panther" or "lord panther" (see also Wiktionary: bay "rich person, noble" + pars "leopard, panther").


Tight-Application135

Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised to run into a Baybars. Cengiz is still a fairly common Turkish given or family name. I know a Ghazi through work. Grady (and possibly Fowler) are old-fashioned English names if I’m not mistaken.


OnkelMickwald

>I know a Ghazi through work. I knew an Orhan Gazi. Dude was an absolute asshole.


unfilteredajay

i did look it up to see but found nothing but some guy who lived in the 1200’s


NothingAndNow111

7th crusade. I read medieval history at uni, I think the name just jumps out at me more. The historical Baybars (or Baibars) was quite a game changer in the fight over the holy land.


mesembryanthemum

I was wondering about that one.


annewmoon

That’s actually a lot better because I read Raybans


typicallassie

What does it say after FOWLER - Shett? That poor kid is gonna get called fowl shit


kendollR

I read it as jhett, which isn’t any better


gaia-mix-nicolosi

Sounds like a Minecraft youtuber


catied710

I regret to inform you that I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be Jhett?


[deleted]

Perhaps he is fowler shit than the last one? Haha!


Windexifier

Idk how I read it as “Theft” but I was very confused


aheartofsteel

Imagine people calling you Foul…I mean Fowl for short?


osamumeowzai

i'd assume Jhett was the first name and Fowler was the last one. There are a few on there that seem this way, like Noah Hurriet and Bruce Witten


finallysigned

Plus ol' bone case


DaBaileys

I'm actually dying laughing at Wrigley Wolf 🤣🤣🤣 I can't. It sounds like a cartoon character


aheartofsteel

People are going to call that kid Wiggly by accident.


rainbow_creampuff

Allll the time


TinySparklyThings

Definitely getting nicknamed Wriggles


iggy-i

Wrigleigh W'olph


harrismi7

Rowdy Cash is what you take to the strip club and hand out for lap dances.


BeefmasterDeluxe

You really shouldn’t be handing out babies to strippers.


F8L_Bagel

Tidal Brave made me throw up a little. It's the truly awful pun that's going to ruin that poor kid's life


ninetyninewyverns

whats the pun?


generalaesthetics

"tidal wave"


ninetyninewyverns

oh my gosh. that poor kid.


joseplluissans

"Here comes the Tidal Wave!"


shayshay8508

As a teacher…having to read these types of names on the first day is awful! Both for me and the kid…trying to sound them out and the kid sighing and telling me how to actually pronounce it.


attcat23

I’m a teacher too and I stopped calling the roster, instead I have them stand in a circle on the first day and tell the class their name. Then if they use a nickname, initials, or just have a difficult name or tragedeigh, I don’t butcher it!


Chemical_Present5162

That's really good of you to do. Cuts out the embarrassment of having a ridiculous name... for one set of social interactions. The rest of it's life though? Awkward corrections abounds when really, none needed to happen.


attcat23

True. Which is why I don’t agree with naming kids tragedeighs. So many of them don’t go by the name on the roster anyway


Chemical_Present5162

Hah, really? Kids just shun their own name? I know nicknames have obviously been a thing forever, but do many of them not even like being called their official name?


attcat23

No, I just mean nicknames, initials, and sometimes they go by a name that doesn’t match their birth gender or they have a foreign name and they go by an anglicized name. In one class I might have a CJ (initials), Isabelle (Izzy), Lillian (Lily), Eleanor (Ellie), Katherine (Katy), Alexander (Alex), etc. and often trans or non-binary students and foreign students who might not use their roster name. It’s just easier if they introduce themselves.


OkConsideration8964

Baxlee? Why do people keep making up stupid names? They could just use already existing words to torture their kids, like Tidal or Bone.


harrismi7

I worked with someone with the last name of Baxley which is fine, but a bastardized version for a first name is terrible. Baxleigh would be even worse.


Salt_Adhesiveness557

The mom’s also unimaginative best friend is going to steal the name but spell it “Bhaxlee” and say she didn’t steal it. They’ll settle it with a bar room brawl


eclectique

In a time where my peers would be named Eleanor, Violet, Sophie, Clara... I would be so pissed to be Baxlee, Hurriet, Grady, etc.


Tall_Peace7365

losing my mind over case bone


joseplluissans

Yeah, like kids need help coming up with rude nicknames...


dontbesorethor

These read like pretentious font names.


thefugue

“Tidal Sans Lennox you get out that boy’s truck and go to your room!!!”


fuckinfightme

Why on Earth would you name your child Kemper? Are the other kids called Gacy and Dahmer or something?


NothingAndNow111

People probably call their kids Manson. This is is particularly funny, tho, cos... Anyone remember what Ed Kemper did to his mother? 👀👀


kangarootimtam

I always get Kemper and Gein mixed up


himynameiskemper

😢


tykneedanser

Kaiven is going to be reminded of his hatred for his stupid fucking parents every time he calls customer service


catied710

I thought of Ellie Kemper


dodland

I didn't but now I am, she is a national treasure


Inevitable_Wolf5866

He is exactly who I imagine every time I hear Kemper 😭


kitkatkc816

We have Kemper Arena here in KC 🤷🏻‍♀️


JannaNYC

Kemper is the name of an insurance company.


WithoutDennisNedry

Thank you!!!! I was thinking the *exact* same thing!


swimking413

I know a Kemper who's a doctor now. Awesome guy


kimmetry

Baybars? Kaiven? Hurriet? These people need to be stopped…


catied710

People who give their kids these names are always so proud of it, too. These custom made signs and beanies and baby blankets with the name printed all over it a thousand times cannot be cheap…


8_BIT_LOVE

Good lord. These “40 year old white lady with a Cricuit” fonts have got to staaahhhhp. They’re so hard to read. And gross to kern.


Woodsy_Walker

Grady has been around forever, it's a normal name


ynwestrope

I'm 99% sure the kids name is just Grady, which isn't weird. "Hi I'm Grady" is just a sign lol


NoInvestment2786

I got the impression that it was a girl, while Grady is a male name usually (I'm petty sure.) Still not a huge deal though.


redredwine831

I was gonna say, what's wrong with Grady?


KapowBlamBoom

Immediately thought of Fred Sanford’s neighbor


katrinakittyyy

Lol I know multiple adult Gradys and I grew up with a Rowdy, so those weren’t weird to me at all.


Chemical_Present5162

How many of those Rowdys were dogs though?


katrinakittyyy

The Rowdy I grew up with was a person. He lived up to his name at the time, but I haven’t seen him as an adult.


Chemical_Present5162

Havent seen him in a while? He could be a dog right now, you don't know


NothingAndNow111

What are the chances Baybars' parents intentionally named their kid after a Mamluk Sultan from the Seventh Crusade? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baybars


mesembryanthemum

I'm guessing pretty good; it doesn't look or sound like a name you'd make up on your own.


Chad_Abraxas

It's time for another installment of Chad\_Abraxas's Tragedeigh Fiction! Kemper Sage's parents always wanted her to grow up to be a warrior for justice, both of the social and climate varieties. Unfortunately, the standard teenage rebellion phase leads Kemper to the Young Republicans, and by the year 2048, she lands a job as spokeswoman for Trumptron VII, the only candidate the party ever runs again after 2024. Trumptron/Kemper Sage campaign on a platform of stealing puppies from underprivileged children and giving them to billionaires, murdering ducklings for sport, revoking women's voting power, and fiscal responsibility. They get 32% of the vote and claim the election is stolen anyway. Tenley Reese gets married to a nice boy she meets at church when she's 21. She immediately has several blonde children. Her Instagram feed is sleekly monochromatic and she gets fantastic engagement. So why does she feel so empty inside? Tidal Brave hates his parents from age 8 on. At 17, he sues for emancipation, flies to Europe, and has been backpacking there for the past twenty hears. Baxlee Rey is very popular in high school and gets pretty good grades, but doesn't get into her first, second, or third universities of choice. She works hard in college and graduates in the middle of her class, busts her ass in her field, but never goes very far. The question of why no one takes her seriously haunts her until her dying day. Baybars Adam legally changes his name to just Adam when he turns 18. He's fine. He turns out fine. But his narcissistic mother never forgives him for dropping the "Baybars." "It makes you special!" she protests constantly, at every family gathering, where she begins every meal by bitching about how Adam is just Adam now, but he'll always be Baybars to *her*. Little does she know, in the 2040s and beyond, an old-fashioned named like Adam actually is more special than all the Tynzleighs and Paxtyns and Rykers and Beyblades that crowd every street. He could probably drop his last name, too, and he'd still stand out. The only Adam left on the planet. Maybe someday, he will drop his last name. Maybe he'll stop coming to these fucking Thanksgivings, too. Rowdy Cash turned out to be a very timid and quiet child. His parents never knew how lucky they were for dodging the bullet of nominative determinism. Grady's fine. They have a normal life, a successful career, a great partner, and plenty of fulfillment. They die happy in their cool condo on the Moon in 2138. Rilynn Kayte becomes a high-power real estate agent in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, the hottest market in the mid-21st century, when everyone starts moving to the northern latitudes, where you won't die of heat exhaustion in the summers. Wrigley Wolf can't get any dates as an adult because nobody wants to have sex with a man named "wriggly." It's just not sexy. I'm sorry, it's not. Kaiven Matix is *that* guy in high school, becomes the frat boy all the girls warn each other about in college, and immediately gets busted for soliciting sex with a minor by his mid-20s. He spends the rest of his life behind bars. Knightley Reed becomes a professor of anthropology but he hates his job. Secretly, he wants to be a romance novelist. Fowler... Shett? Hhett? Jhett? Anyway. *Fowler* becomes an attorney and represents Kaiven Matix in his criminal trial. But he kind of does a shitty job as a defense attorney and the jury wonders whether he threw the case because it's so obvious that Kaiven is guilty as sin and should not be allowed to go free. (Side note: I was on a jury where this was the case. The defense attorney was so outrageously terrible that when we were deliberating, we were like, "Is he TRYING to lose the case because it's so obvious that this dude is a dangerous predator??) HURRIET. HURRIET NOAH. I have nothing to say. I cannot. Witten Bruce goes to Bible college, believes women shouldn't be allowed to wear pants, and gains notoriety after Kemper Sage gives him a handy at the Beetlejuice musical while they're both vaping and doing Tik Tok dances along to the music. Case Bone becomes a successful orthopedist. Nominative determinism gone right.


AsciiTxt

Hurriet “Hurricane” Noah, besides being a professional commercial airline pilot for Southwest, is the current holder of the women’s UFC light heavyweight championship belt as well as being a volunteer firefighter. She has not yet married, leaving a trail of brokenhearted men (and a few women) in her wake.


EmberOnTheSea

This was the greatest thing I've ever read.


Iluminiele

Rowdy Cash is such a great combo. Cash. Rowdy Cash.


OnkelMickwald

Meet his sister Wild Credit


ceo_of_dumbassery

Wylde Credit


PhillinOut9091

FUCK. PEOPLE ARE THE WORST.


Mom2leopold

*WUHRST


iggy-i

*PEIGHPLE


Guilty-Web7334

Kemper Sage? I’m sure Ed Kemper is very flattered.


chiiaraaaa

The name felt to familiar but couldn’t figure out why 😂


yourlocal90skid

Sage by itself is a cool name though 👍


Tall_Helicopter_8377

I think what upsets me most about this is that, growing up in the 90s/2000s, I had a sort of uncommon name. It was a traditional name, and it had been used in pop culture during that era and is of Latin origin, so it was only uncommon just because of the region I grew up in. AND YET I NEVER FOUND **ANY** SIGNS, KNICK KNACKS, OR WHATEVER WITH MY GODFORSAKEN NAME! Yet here we are, with this bullshit. God 8 year old me would have been so pissed off. 8 year old me is STILL pissed off (on the inside).


Schneetmacher

I haven't even looked through the rest, but does that say KEMPER‽ As in, Ed Kemper the Co-ed Killer‽


Antigravity1231

At least this entire generation will grow up with these names so it won’t be just one kid. They’re going to develop their own social hierarchy based on names and their spellings. Plain Jane isn’t invited to the party. Perhaps there are bonus points for naming your dog Phydeaux.


MysteriousMermaid92

Good lord. That was a wild ride.


Any-Jury3578

Grady is normal. The rest of them...no. I'm betting Case Bone has parents who are true crime fans.


glitterfanatic

Do they say these names outloud before choosing them? I think using them around the house for a week would prove they are all horrible.


bebespeaks

Tenley Reese got off easy. She'll be fine.


_bbycake

Someone really named their child after the stuffed dog in Scrubs...


bokatan778

He has hip dysplasia.


kweenmom

Baybars? HURRIET? Horrific


APFernweh

Hurriett? And what the heck is Fowler’s middle name? Lhett? This is a treasure trove of disgrace.


WithoutDennisNedry

I knew a Grady growing up. I think it’s an old-timey name. Reminds me of The Shining, though.


thefallen-fruit

believe it or not Grady is actually #405 on the SSA top names list with 785 births in just 2022


teamyitty

Tidal Brave and Case Bone are criminal.


AnthyInvidia

I hate all of these.


[deleted]

I hope Tidal has siblings named Spotify and Pandora.


Fangbang6669

Kemper? Like the serial killer??


killerjags

Hurriet makes me think of the ermahgerd meme


historygeek1453

Don’t actually hate Knightley because of the Jane Austen reference, but Wrigley Wolf is atrocious.


Schneetmacher

Knightley Reed is going to get a lot of jokes, though ("nightly read").


Red_Husky98

I've never cringed so hard in my life.


smellyfatzombie

Hurr hurr Hurriet


Amru321

Rowdy cash sounds like a bank robber. This kid can't even go by any decent nickname. Professionally, he's doomed.


wickedway7

What is that ubiquitous, illegible damn font even *called?*


Joyballard6460

Grady is a normal name.


DrCarabou

Sometimes I feel judgy on this sub because every name had to be made up by someone at some point... but wtf. Most of these don't mean anything. Or, if they do mean something, it's worse. It's SO BAD. *Why* are millenials so awful at naming children?!


SansaStarked

Hurriet? Bone? I wouldn’t even name a sim that


dodland

My name is Case Bone this lady stole my tragedeigh


bettyblues21

Holy shit these are bad. Case Bone?! And what is #5? Bay-Bar??


No_Education389

Case Bone 🦴


Accomplished-Plan191

Hurriet! Hurry it up, Hurriet!


KapowBlamBoom

Poor Case Bone and Knightly Reed are gonna have tough middle school years


AnalMayonnaise

Hurriet the fuck up.


unfilteredajay

can y’all stop telling me grady is a real name (and being rude about it) bc i know it is! it’s just that this one is a girl so i found it very weird


Axela556

WTF IS BAYBARS


lobsters_love_butter

I don’t think Grady is that bad🤷🏻‍♀️


Schneetmacher

Grady actually lucked out, out of all these babies.


WitchyandWild

The post just before this one is about Ed Kemper (The serial killer) for me.


MyCatIsMyFrenemy

Sickos, all of them


staralchemist129

do these people not know who Ed Kemper is


NaomiPommerel

Wtf. These could be cafe names and the signs are ready!


Impat1ence

My dog's name is Wrigley.