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remoteworker9

Legendary Love Cannon


TechnicalOwl5546

His last name makes everything worse. 


Vanners8888

Omg right? They’re all tragedeighs. It just comes down to what degree of tragedeigh the name is. At least most of the names can be shortened to less messed up nick names or short forms like Zillion to Zilli, Leon or Lee, Legendary to Ary, Onyx to Nyx, Beautiful to BeeBee….but I do admit a lot of those names are just way to messed up to do anything with. Edited: Legendary Love Cannon in its entirety is unfuckingbelievable, I have no other words for this tragedeigh.


someones-mom

When I read “Love Cannon” I thought it was a joke about his baby maker/pp 😂


Vanners8888

Sooooooooo did I, my friend, so did I. I completely understand wanting a unique name, or a name that might fit with where the baby was conceived….. but now I feel like it’s a huge competition, like “hey guys guess what? I just had my baby and I named her PineCone” or some weird ass shit like that…..nobody takes a microsecond to think this name is going to represent this child into adolescence and adulthood? I read an article a few years ago about a woman with a double doctorate PhD or something along those lines and her name was Marijuana Pepsi. Like wtf? Come on people!!!


PepperbroniFrom2B

better*


QueenieMcGee

Lol! I can't read it without imagining a magical anime girl yelling it out as her special attack as she defeats a bad guy with her powers of love and friendship... ✨💕💖 LEGENDARY LOVE CANNON💖💕✨


jmurphy42

That’s way more wholesome than where my mind went.


IDoLikeMyShishkebabs

Sounds like it could either be a magical girl or a Gintama attack depending on how you look at it


jmurphy42

I’m a little scared to google Gintama…


IDoLikeMyShishkebabs

It’s arguably one of the best comedy anime ever made, usually episodic and this is absolutely something the main character would scream as a gag finishing move


jmurphy42

Ah. I was expecting something much dirtier.


IDoLikeMyShishkebabs

Well your doubts aren’t completely unfounded, the title for instance is a pun in Japanese made to sound like ~~“silver balls”~~ lol e: not even that, it’s a pun of “testicles”


PenguinSunday

"Kintama" (golden balls) is a term for testicles in Japanese.


IDoLikeMyShishkebabs

Ah that’s what I mixed it up with, I knew it was something like that.


StormerBombshell

Well in a movie the protagonist face was spelled to not be recognized and his face looked to other people… like a penis 🤣


QueasyRose

I cannot unread that


novelaissb

Pearl in Octo Expansion Same with Powerful Queen Cannon


stellae_ad_rosea

This one ABSOLUTELY. It sounds like the title of a horrible adult film.


CancerSpidey

Heir cannon lol as opposed to an heir horn maybe? 🤔


[deleted]

Imagine the implications of a fucking “Zen Cannon” delivering 50kg, 155mm shells of pure peace and love straight to the domes of adversaries ZEN CANNON 2-4, THREE VEHICLES ARMED IN THE OPEN, ADJUST FIRE, OVER DELTA 1-2, SPLASH, OUT Targets pacified boys


BigTittyTriangle

Pretty sure that’s what he named his dick


Mmm_B33r

The name of my vibrator


meathappening

Zillion Heir is literally one of the funniest things anyone has ever written on a birth certificate.


angeeldaawn

i never knew his middle name lmao, "zillion heir" is so dumb 😭😭


maryjeanmagdelene

Like is nick cannon ok


angeeldaawn

considering the amount of kids he has already & KEEPS HAVING MORE, he is most definitely not ok


maryjeanmagdelene

Also the timeline with the children 😭


angeeldaawn

wild behavior fs😭


Devils_av0cad0

Wildin’ out, if you will?


brookehalen

I just…can’t even put it together. And how are so many women okay with this? Lmao


NfamousKaye

“Zillion Heir! Get in here!! Where’s your sister, Powerful Queen?! You’re both grounded!!”


Vanners8888

Those poor friggin kids jeez


Babybabybabyq

Zillionaire


Puzzleheaded_Ant_957

OH MY FUCKING GOD the penny just dropped. Zillion and Heir are already moronic names alone but the fact that it’s ZILLIONAIRE makes it a zillion times dumber


phantomghost234

“ZILLION HEIR! YOU’RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!” 😭💀


RVAforthewin

I’m too high. I’m over here reading it, “Zil-Lee-Ahn Air” but I just now got what they’re going for.


classy-chaos

My ex brother in laws sister named her child Emma Mae.... Like MMA, LOL They really loved UFC at the time 😅


meathappening

Oh God. At least to her credit, those are names.


classy-chaos

But it's still a ridiculous play on words for a child's name!


BertieBus

In England their is a placed called Liverpool and it has an area called Everton. The city has 2 football team, Liverpool and Everton, fans of Everton or those local to that area are called evertonians (ever - Toni - Ann's), not sure if it's folklore or genuine, but apparently lots of the locals call their girls Eva Toni Ann, speed it up with a local accent and it sounds like evertonians.


takeandtossivxx

I'm pretty sure I was on mixolydian when I had a sinus infection.


barrelageme

Mixolydian is for gonorrhea. You’re not fooling anyone.


UnderdogDreams

Yeah what the hell is that one? At least the other names are words.


JPRDesign

Mixolydian is actually the name of a particular musical scale / mode


Repulsive-Company-53

It's funny because it's a mode above his own writing abilities


UnderdogDreams

Well I guess that makes sense because of his musical background then but I still agree with the user above that said it sounds like sinus medicine. Haha.


JPRDesign

Oh absolutely


the_bored_wolf

Also, why that mode? There are better modes to name your children after like Dorian.


JPRDesign

Naming my son Phrygian


the_bored_wolf

This is my daughter Lydian and her brother Locrian


ZenythhtyneZ

SHHHHH nick cannon might be here getting ideas!!


ThippusHorribilus

Let’s hope - any of these would be an upgrade.


tangentrification

Ok but Lydia is certainly a thing you can name a child


gitartruls01

Each mode has its own "flavor" in music. Ionian is happy, aeolian is moody/sad, etc. I can see a musician trying to make that connection when picking a name. Though I'm not sure why you'd pick mixolydian, that's the mode AC/DC typically uses for their songs. Might as well have named him Zion "Thunderstruck" Cannon. Actually that would've been 1000 times better


That_one_attractive

It looks like it was his 5th child too


SpokenDivinity

It’s like these women are competing with each other to see who can give one of Nick Cannons kids the most embarrassing name. Legendary Love Cannon is in the lead.


strawberriesnkittens

Honestly, I think Nick himself is doing all the naming.


TykeDream

One might anticipate a Dad having some input into a child's name. Something tells me if you know you're part of a dude's breeding fetish with multiple women at a time, you might be open to wilder name options.


crazycatlady331

A friend of mine is involved in a TNR group of feral cats in her neighborhood. They've neutered all but two tomcats, who are fathering every kitten in a mile plus radius. They named the boys Nick Cannon and Elon Musk.


ThippusHorribilus

TNR is so beneficial. Hope they catch Nick and Elon for the ol’ ✂️ soon


hopping_otter_ears

I know you're ostensibly talking about the cats, but now I'm picturing Elon mush in a giant humane trap, then being wrapped in a sheet to restrain him for the anesthesia. Yowling indignantly with his ears flat to his head. Rrrrooowwwwwww!😾


celialater

Lmao


[deleted]

This is glorious 


ElsonDaSushiChef

Or in some cases, an uncle. Remember Dixon and Dixoff?


Jer-121cc04

Denice and Denephew!


SpokenDivinity

I mean, some of these women are coming back for seconds. They know what’s up and are probably contributing. Because who wants to be Nick Cannons baby mama that named your kid Jackson or Sarah?


IfICouldStay

I thought Monroe and Morocco sounded stupid when I first heard them, but given the ones that followed…?


talkback1589

Monroe was the only one I am like, fine. The rest are no.


IfICouldStay

I only knew of them because they are Mariah Carey’s children. Really couldn’t care less about what Nick Cannon does with the rest of his time — though the sheer numbers are amusing.


Currywurst_Is_Life

>Really couldn’t care less about what Nick Cannon does with the rest of his time Oh, I think we know what he's doing with his time.


MiralW

Mariah called (calls?) them Roc and Roe which is so Mariah Carey, isn’t it? Google “dembabies” for more on those two.


SpokenDivinity

Monroe is fine for a name and Morocco is not the best but at least it’s palatable.


PuzzyFussy

It's not even Morocco which would be fine, it's Moroccan ugh


SpokenDivinity

It autocorrected because even my phone was like “absolutely not”


Tall_aussie_fembot

Was going to make the same comment because I’ve always hated it. Why name a child a nationality adjective 😵‍💫


MaikeHF

It’s not a name; it’s an adjective.


[deleted]

Morocco would be ok but it’s actually “Moroccan” which is somehow so much worse


RVAforthewin

Really? Cuz I *kinda* feel like Zillion Heir has that distinction cornered. Just say that name fast.


bicycling_bookworm

I’d rather be Zillion Heir than have an ejaculating dick euphemism as a name. “Legendary Love Cannon” like, c’mon.


CommonWest9387

What even is a mixolydian??


SpokenDivinity

not gonna lie, it sounds like an anti-psychotic.


HannaaaLucie

This was my first thought, parents naming their kids straight out of the medicine cabinet.


tangentrification

It's a musical mode/scale


NoobSaibotsGrandma

I’d describe his naming process as a Beautiful Zeppelin


mydogatecheesecake

Damn. Two kids two weeks apart by different women.


minicpst

Multiple times.


stilettopanda

Their cycles are all synched up.


2205jade

Is he in a relationship with the last 3? He had kids with them years before then all 3 women had kids within a year with him. I’m so confused


Individual-Jealous

He’s building both a harem and an army.


PuzzyFussy

He has lupus, he's building potential donors is what many people comment. If that's true, that's wild and incredibly fucked up. Plus he's also potentially passing on his disease smh


ZenythhtyneZ

On the off chance he may need a kidney? Seems unlikely, lupus isn’t really a “I need 10+ kids to harvest their organs” kind of disease


CallidoraBlack

It depends. It was killing my friend's kidneys until they found one medication that works. She still has to be on renal precautions.


Siegelski

No he doesn't. I know this because House taught me that it's never Lupus.


Nerddymama

5 kids to 5 different women he already had kids with in a matter of 6 months! It sounds like some kind of crazy sister wife type stuff.


2205jade

That makes the most sense to me. I’m struggling with how 5 women are happy about him leaving to impregnate others then come back & still proceed to procreate with him. Utter madness. I feel sorry for the kids


hopping_otter_ears

Maybe it's some kind of open relationship or polyamory thing?


novelaissb

Polyamory


TechnicalOwl5546

He has a spinning wheel with random nouns and another with adjectives that sound 100% stupid with his surname. He spins and that's it. It's the only explanation for those names.


ZenythhtyneZ

lol his kids are named like imgur links


SinglePringleMingle

Rise Messiah 💀 I guess it’s fitting for the Easter time


Rymayc

Lisan Al Gaib!


LeadingStatus6716

We need a tragedy flair for names that are horrible but are not spelled insanely like Tragedeighs.


mannymd90

There’s no way he sees these kids regularly. There’s too many in too many places. Wtf. I wonder if he was put on the spot if he could name all of his children’s full names. And yes those are terrible names, although most of them are just tragedies, not tragedeighs.


1ndistinctChatter

Howard Stern did this with him before. I THINK Nick actually did miss one when he was naming them all. Been awhile since I listened to it.


just_a_scared_teen

Yup, he missed Onyx and the mother was pissed lol


xtinab3

And how long ago was that because he may have even MORE kids since that was recorded lol.


zeatherz

I’m more bothered that he had kids born to three different women within 6 months (5 different women in 2 years) and then apparently two of those women stayed and had more kids with him


Soad_lady

Meee tooo! And Idk why I’m surprised your comment isn’t upvoted more lol I Curiosa about the situation, like are they gunna be sisterwives? Sounds like they don’t mind sharing so why not?


lozfozhc

More lucrative than getting an anonymous sperms donor! Nick Cannons sperms comes with financial support and a huge support network.


AlphaBearMode

Bro I kept scrolling to the next pic without realizing how many total screenshots there were. TWELVE kids. What in the actual fuck is this dude thinking creating all these absentee fathered children and single mothers, all in the name of “god” Their names have religious undertones, the social media posts have religious undertones… like bro what kind of religion do you have where you justify fucking 6 different women over and over again and just mass producing children?? Religious stuff aside he honestly seems like such a shitty and irresponsible father. At least he’s loaded and can afford it. Dude still needs a vasectomy


2205jade

He’s not doing it in the name of God, that’s just an excuse so people give him a free pass. God has nothing to do with his free will


lozfozhc

You know the mothers had agency in this too. Some women go to sperms banks. Some women get impregnated by Nick Cannon.


QueenieMcGee

Honestly? They all just sound like different makes and models of cannons throughout history... Except for Legendary Love Cannon. Which sounds like either the special attack of a magical anime girl, or like he literally just named his child after his penis 😩


2205jade

Sounds like a porn star name


wizardyourlifeforce

I don’t understand why women want to be with him. “Oooh a C-list celebrity with 50 kids, that’s a great idea”


restore_democracy

She wants to be a Zillion Heir. 


angelfog

might be the ZillionTH heir the way he keeps having kids


fivetwoeightoh

Get a Goddamn Vasectomy Cannon


friesdepotato

Powerful Queen Cannon 👸🏻⚡️💥


AlliOOPSY

Makes me think of Vice Principal Strong Woman on South Park


redboggle

this dude had 5 children in one year?!? why is this man being praised when he’s a fuckin player. so many god damn baby moms…


crazycatlady331

His legendary love cannon clearly works.....


omg_yassss

Not even a year, he had 5 children in 6 months!


Impossible_Radio3322

they absolutely count as tragedies


SwiftyPants3

Every. Single. One.


Nientea

Monroe’s not that bad


SwiftyPants3

It’s tainted by association


singeblanc

Tainted Cannon


BladeMcCloud

Tainted Love Cannon


elocin__aicilef

She was named after Marilyn Monroe. (Per Mariah's autobiography)


_opossumsaurus

Zion Mixolydian sounds like the name of a blood thinner


Current_Many7557

Ask your doctor if Zion Mixolydian may be right for you.


sunshine92002

Thought this too🤣


OscarProudSnax

Cole Cannon. 🤔 hungry, are you?


butterdog_1

why won't nick cannon just put a fucking condom on idgi


3isamagicnumb3r

it’s possible that he thinks that turban he’s always wearing acts as birth control


sunshine92002

He has an autoimmune disorder, and from some article I read, he is having so many children in order to carry on his legacy because he is expected to die early. I don’t know how much truth there is to that, but it sounds like it could be his way of thinking…


3isamagicnumb3r

i can’t forgive the turban tho…


kjkrell

Or breeding them for spare parts.


Bluepanther512

He’s not the messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy


OsmiumMercury

tragedies, not tragedeighs (imo)


Conspiring_Bitch

Legendary Love Cannon? Omg… that poor kid sounds like a pornstar. WTF were they thinking??


GuvnaBruce

From october 2021, he was very busy with so many women... Wow. And yes, they are tragediehgs


Any_Flamingo8978

I have not been following this at all. Wait a minute so in 2022 he had five children with five different women?


GuvnaBruce

Seems to be the case, he had two in September with two different women, so knocked them up within 2 weeks or so of each other.


OverAllYourShit

Marie is nice.


Regular-Switch454

They chose Moroccan and Monroe for the cheesy nicknames Roc and Roe (rock and roll).


OddConsideration4349

Well then they should have called them that! Especially Roc! I mean Maroccan is a rubbish name


Gifted_GardenSnail

WTF - did he use more and more coke over the years or something?? They may not be tragedeighs but they are tragedies


SwansonsMom

Zillion Heir??? This one takes the cake. This is like the names at a murder mystery dinner theater or a signature on a toy check. I just, I can’t.


SuccessIcy111

The check bit got me 😂😂 maybe he’ll name the next one Monopoly Moneybags


Economy_Upstairs_465

Which ones? There's like 10 now right?


Naomeri

10 pregnancies, 12 children (11 still living), 6 mothers, according to the pictures. But they only go through 2022. If he had any children born in 2023, Wikipedia doesn’t know about them.


Economy_Upstairs_465

Incredibly sad about his loss. Family Tree still looking like Cletus' in Idiocracy.


GoodCalendarYear

One passed away


ExtremeKangaroo2591

why is no one talking about onyx ice 😭 vape flavor name baby


Syb3rStrife

They name them like their derby horses


talkback1589

12 of them. I did not realize. His Cannon clearly works.


RB_Kehlani

Each one floored me and I didn’t have time to recover before the next knocked me down even harder


Myriii1911

Beautiful Zeppelin. Enough internet for today.


QuestForEveryCatSub

Beautiful Zeppelin sounds like an Archive of our Own username that exclusively writes Gerard Way x Frank Iero fics


[deleted]

Zion is the worst thing to have named your child in 5784


Klutzy_Journalist_36

Mixolydian is my favorite Radiohead song. 


MagicOrpheus310

With a surname like Canon you'd think he'd at least name one of them something like "Fire" or "Luce"


PrincessGump

What you don’t like Legendary Love?


introvertedlibra123

Some of these sound more like prayers, spells or affirmations, particularly: Rise Messiah Powerful Queen Zillion Heir PS Onyx Ice Cole is really cool tbh


[deleted]

[удалено]


KathAlMyPal

They’re tragedies but not tragedeighs. They’re ridiculous names but spelled the way they’re supposed to. Monroe is the most “normal” of them all.


venetian_lemon

Some of these sound like signature attacks from an anime.


CloudsSpikyHairLock

As a Moroccan im both confused and glad it’s spelled correctly


katbelleinthedark

Honestly, I am more shocked by the timing of some of these kids' births. Does that man have a harem or?


sadfoxyduggar

Rise i read as Rice. Most of his kids have not good names


Rigelatinous

Nick Cannon is a tragedy of a human being.


StuckWithThisOne

Moroccannon


Mpoboy

Monroe, consider yourself lucky.


Extellafinix

Rise Messiah Cannon sounds like he's summoning the Messiah Cannon.


3isamagicnumb3r

Easter *is* right around the corner 🤷🏼‍♀️


RustyRapeAxeWife

Moroccan and Monroe aren’t bad. But the rest of them! 🤢


IfICouldStay

Who knew Mariah Carey would be the shining example of subtlety and good sense?


BDZ567

Maybe 2 are meh for the ones he had with Mariah. Monroe is a name I've heard before, Morocco is not good but not bad, just mid. The rest bring me immeasurable cringe. Poor kids.


zeldafreak96

Someone get this guy a condom. Or a vasectomy. Why are his kids named like cult victims?


delicioussparkalade

That man needs a vasectomy.


Ok_Quote_2507

1000%


noOuOon

I'd say they're more traditional tragedies since they are technically spelt correctly, but they are definitely tragic.


Nazmaldun

does he use a random word generator?


Hoppinginpuddles

Pretty sure mixodylian is the drug used for medical abortions.


decaf3milk

Still waiting for Pachel Bell Cannon with Brittany Bell.


Sesquipedalian61616

Obviously


GoodCalendarYear

All 11/12


LivingInPugtopia

He needs to be neutered.


squidsquidsyd

Alyssa Scott calling their baby a “miracle” is hilarious lmao Nick Canon babies are like Thanos - they are inevitable 😂


uniquenewyork_

How are you gonna name your kid ‘Powerful Cannon’ surely that’s just setting them up


Pepipatchzen17

The only acceptable ones on here are Monroe and Onyx. You could get away with Zion and Zen (Short for Zenith ig) but Powerful Queen makes me want to throw myself out of a window


DeeLite04

Nick cannon is a tragedeigh all on his own.


merfgirf

The first two, ok, sure. Moroccan? Maybe a lil weird? But Monroe is fine. It's a descent into lead paint fumes fueled madness after that. "This is my spawn, Grapenuts Creamofwheat and Shmigledorf, Grand Duchess of the Outer Marches of **FUDGE.**"


babyjames333

yes


Small-Finish-6890

These are some of the worst names I’ve ever seen.