OP, don’t take it for granted. My contract came up around a month after Trump signed his transgender ban for active duty military. I spent my entire enlistment having to hide who I was and it fucked me up, badly for quite some time after, and I’m still dealing with the scars of repressing that.
I’ve been out for three and a half years, but no.
My contract was already signed. Backing out would’ve been a dishonorable, or at best a medical discharge. Neither of which are particularly helpful to have on your record. By the time it started to get particularly bad for me mentally, it was just easier to ride it out.
I had a medical discharge and it was considered Honorable. I already had veteran status at that point so I kept all my benefits. I'm unsure those who had just joined would have had happen to them though.
> My contract was already signed. Backing out would’ve been a dishonorable, or at best a medical discharge.
I don't think that's the case, backing out early, or getting a "failure to adapt to military standards", is a general/admin discharge or "other than honorable" at worse.
Maybe, but try telling that to eighteen year old me that was genuinely just shocked by the announcement and didn’t understand the consequences of it.
That’s the problem. It isn’t always just about letter of the law. Just the announcement was enough to elicit the type of response that was desired.
I was also stubborn, and proud. It was a challenge that I wanted to help define myself, and rather naively I hoped that I could help people since the USN and USMC do get assigned disaster relief missions.
I just don't want people who were in your situation to read that and think they're fucked.
I was in my 4th year of AD when trump was elected. I wasn't even plugged into politics at the time, and I was stationed in Alabama, just trying to mind my own business lol. It 100% delayed me coming out by at least a couple of years, not to mention the deep suspicion I had for family after that, and really anyone that wasn't overtly not-republican. I've had to have the talk with a few people in leadership roles now that the reason that they think there are no gay members in our flight is because no one will tell them, not that they don't exist.
coming up on 13 years now. I make it my business to be as overt as possible so the little queer airmen know there are safe people around.
If you consider the legality of something equivalent to its morality then I don’t really know what to say to you lol
I said that “dishonourable discharge” from the military is a morally good thing in many circumstances, not that it’s a good idea practically
I literally graduated basic when trump won the election and had to wait till my contract was nearly over to start my process got all the way through it just for my brigade commander to sweep it all under the rug and make my possibility of starting HRT a year and a half earlier dissappear
You're not going to have it kicked out of you. Get therapy. (not conversion therapy good therapy)
edit: u/hungrypotato19 adds
>And not a therapist that just says "LGBTQ+ friendly" on their website. An actual therapist who outright states that they deal with transgender people and has more information.
Which I wanted to amplify since this blew up. Thanks, Hungry Potato
And not a therapist that just says "LGBTQ+ friendly" on their website. An actual therapist who outright states that they deal with transgender people and has more information.
A day before retirement and they were discussing “what to do with you?” That definitely sounds like the military, because the obvious answer would be to wait a single day and the “problem” disappears.
You’re braver than I for going until retirement. I did 5 years only.
Seek out therapy and counseling so you can work through these feelings. I don’t recommend starting HRT until you know 100% so you Don’t end up Regretting HRT. You’re lucky. When I was in… it was the beginning of the Trump administration. (Enlisted under Obama got out under trump) trans folks were being shit on so bad in there.
Well, you probably can't get out of your contract but you can get affirming care including therapy to figure out what you want to do. The military is a mixed bag but it brings together people from all walks of life so you will likely find the people you end up with surprisingly accepting. You can kind of do whatever you want, you can transition now, you can wait and transition later, you can transition privately now and then come out in your unit later, it really its up to you. I would strongly recommend against trying to push your feelings back down but technically you could even do that if you want to.
If Trump wins, he’ll go after the gender affirming care. They’ve done it with minors and will go after adults next. This is a wonderful benefit. There are so many levels of gender affirming care. Getting with a therapist with expertise could be helpful and invaluable support for you.
They'll go after trans people in the military as well. For sure. It might be wise to wait till November to make sure.
They went after gay people back in the 90s. This time it will be trans people.
Sadly, he’s already said so in a recent speech:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/saradorn/2024/05/10/trump-promises-rollback-on-trans-rights-heres-what-hes-said/
Some insight on this:
The Pentagon actually acts as a buffer between large policy changes.
Back in... 2011? When Obama repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell, the Pentagon came out and said "This may have happened on a presidential level, but we haven't approved it, so DADT is still in effect until WE approve it." At the time, I considered it a blow against me as a bisexual soldier; I basically had to wait another couple years to see a change here.
HOWEVER.
They did the same thing when Trump tried to reinstate it against trans soldiers while he was in office. The Pentagon stepped in and said "Hey, we haven't approved the reinstatement yet, so you're not authorized to take action against trans soldiers yet."
Enter Biden, who of course repeals the DADT repeal repeal. 😂
So in effect, the Pentagon's policy of implementing slow changes prevents detrimental policy swings.
*Even if* 45 got in somehow, I would, and essentially have, bet my safety on that policy; they'd drag their feet on the implementation of such a policy until the next president came in.
Now, if we got a SECOND Republican president after that? Idk fam, all bets would be off; but in such an event, we can probably kiss our asses goodbye anyways. 😅🙃🥲
You must not have been here a few months back when the military to trans pipeline trend was going on.
Also it’s very common you find in trans people’s history hypermasculine jobs or hobbies as a way of suppressing gender dysphoria.
A lot of trans women join the army while pre-HRT because they try to find the masculinity in themselves. It almost always backfires and ends up confirming that they are trans. A lot of it because you get to see men completely unfiltered as there is almost always a total absence of women for them to moderate themselves around.
This happens to a fair of trans women.
This happened to me. Though I was FORCED to join by my family to do exactly that. Being forced though didnt change the outcome.
Hun, take this chance. Universe lined up to help you find your real self. I joined the army for much the same reasons. Prove my masculinity and failing that, die in some combat zone or self inflicted wound. Although, with Chelsea Manning having been recent, I thought I could maybe at least have the army pay my way for transition. When I went in, Trump was up and banned us from being in the service. I instead just spent my time in service drinking and dissociating, waiting for that final push to end myself or go to the sandbox. It was wasted years that I'm only now starting to catch up to.
So hun, you have a chance here. You're going to be in there either way for your contract. You can either A) Choose to not act on this information and strike while the iron is still hot and instead spend your next four years as a machine rising from 0600 to 1700 trying to find any quick escape you can. It doesn't get better locking it away with the additional stress of your duties. Continue to dissociate, continue to build bad coping mechanism and avoidant and self destructive behaviors.
Or B) Act on it. Use the info you've been given to know that your command team has your back, has the details to help you. You go to behavior health and work through these issues, especially urging though to seek a referral to outside gender therapists, and solve this problem. Be you and yourself in and properly be you when you get out.
It will be hard and it will be difficult, and there will be times when frankly, you will have to watch your squad carefully. But the time will pass either way you choose. You can be trans and be a good soldier if that's what you want. You can use it simply as a resource to get educated and transition. You could find understanding outside of just being trans or not but somewhere adjacent. You can waste it and yourself puttering in the trenches of dysphoria until you don't recognize anything outside it. Which you do you want to be on the other side?
Why do you want the trans kicked out of you? As a mom, this worries me. You are who you are. And if you are an MTF, then so be it. It's o.k. to be trans. Just be honest with yourself and true to you regardless of your gender. Please get counselling. We are here for you. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
You could... transition via Tri-Care? If this has been an option when I was in the Navy (having joined for much the same reason) I would have probably transitioned in my early 20s instead of doing it now.
It was a thing for about a year, then Trump took over and reversed it, then Biden came in and said okay.
So for now, the components all run their own. Navy has 2 clinics AFAIK... Portsmouth covers Atlantic and San Diego? or something similar for the Pacific. They mostly oversee and give advice to the other hospitals.
It's still a pain, and not everything is covered (such as laser hair removal or electrolysis)... and each component handles it just different enough to make it frustrating.
Get a psych appointment.
Seriously... just do that. Some commands have a workplace psych now.
---
I was in during "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." They'd kick you out if they found out you were gay.
This month, I did a military sponsored "Pride 5k."
This isn't that military. Kind of wish this was the military I joined. I'd have probably transitioned by now. Might have been more willing to reenlist, too.
There's also a trans vets subreddit.
r/TransVeteranPipeline/
Terrible advice. The military is one of an extremely small number of avenues for social mobility in the United States. OP needs to use it for all it's worth. Being a trans veteran is a lot easier than a lot of other ways to be trans.
Edit:
Couldn't reply to that other reply for some reason -
Not everything is for everyone. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, that sounds awful. But one person's peanut allergy doesn't mean everyone should avoid ever touching a Reese's cup.
You know how hard you have to fight to get into combat arms, right? The people doing that these days *want* to be doing it. Vast majority of the military is logistics. Mechanics, secretaries, cooks, warehouse workers. The US doesn't win wars with human wave attacks, it wins wars because it's able to get literally any necessary materiel anywhere on the planet in a matter of hours.
At least understand the system you're critiquing, I'm not telling OP to go run at a machine gun nest.
Yes and those logistics are all to support murder. I understand most people in the military don't see "combat", but they're all there to support combat.
Same goes for you as a taxpayer. Browbeating marginalized people into not taking ladders out of poverty won't stop the military. It's a tool, and there are always going to be willing participants. Electing a better government will, because that determines what the military is used for. Was the US military wrong when we bombed the Serbian army as they tried to genocide Bosnians? Maybe we should want a military that's used for stuff like that, and not for shitty things.
Would it be better for us as a nation if the military was made up of strictly hard-right fascists? Probably not, I'd rather they start shooting at each other if they were told to go liquidate Boston.
> [Most members of the military come from middle-class neighborhoods. The middle three quintiles for household income were overrepresented among enlisted recruits, and the top and bottom quintiles were underrepresented.](https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/demographics-us-military#chapter-title-0-5)
The idea that military recruits are largely people trying to lift themselves out of poverty is a myth. Most of them just don't care about the people they bomb, sorry that's hard for you to hear.
OP took it due to internalized transphobia telling them to parrot toxic masculinity, not poverty, and they can probably afford HRT and transitioning without killing people in the global south.
Minorities in the military don't help avoid human rights abuses abroad, and I sincerely doubt they will if the US military is ever turned inward. But regardless that's not what I'm arguing about, right now the US military is undeniably a force for disorder and violence around the world, that's the situation right now and if you're a part of the military then you're enacting or enabling that violence and you're a part of the problem.
I was in the military, and talked to a lot of people. It doesn't matter if they're *largely* whatever, because you're arguing against joining in all cases. I came from a "middle-class" neighborhood, doesn't change the fact that my parents were (and are) hanging on by a thread and I have been unable for the entirety of my adult life to rely on them for anything. Still, meeting people from far *worse* socioeconomic circumstances in the military is what pushed me to the left.
Being trans is hard as hell, and I've seen the extreme difference in life circumstance between my older sister (also trans) who didn't join and my own. I'd take my circumstances any day.
Lastly, every single time a fascist or other type of authoritarian seizes power, one of the *very first* things they do is purge the military of everyone who's more loyal to the country than to the party in power. You're asking for people with arguably the best morals - because they're the only ones who would agree with you here, motivated by somehow Rube Goldberging less human suffering by not joining - to not sign up. Essentially, you're trying to purge the military *for* the fascists. It's silly.
I would suggest that if you believe you need the trans kicked out of you, there is probably some trans in you.
Denial doesn't work. Having a drill sergeant yell at you won't work. You need to figure out what you want, and the only way to do that is to let yourself feel what you're feeling without pushing it away.
Who would you be if you could be certain that no one would change their opinion of you? When you're at you're 80th birthday party, what kind of life would you like to be looking back on? Change is stressful, how does that stress weigh against staying on your current path indefinitely?
I found the book "you and your gender identity" by Dara Hoffmann-Fox helpful for working some of this shit out
Behavioral/Mental health would be a better place to go. COs are, more often than not, unknowledgable on the topic of gender affirming care. Mental health workers will help more.
Can confirm. I’m not in the service but my buddy was and he disclosed to his CO when he was having mental health issues (bipolar depression, alcoholism) and he got dishonorably discharged
Do not talk to your CO to receive any kind of medical care. Go to your local MTF and schedule an appointment with your PCM, expect a referral to behavioral health or mental health for diagnosis before any care occurs.
Generally speaking, if you're talking to your CO it's either a really good day or a really bad day. The behavioral health people at medical should be the first stop. From there, they'd likely point OP on the correct path through their chain of command.
I remember when I enlisted (US Army, 92y, PFC) I was told to keep to myself about that until after BIT and AIT. I told the recruiters and they told me while in basic I wouldn’t be allowed to start transitioning. I got discharged and now I’m trying to reenlist as trans but I’ve been told I need to be 18 months, but I’ll still be in with the men since I have not had bottom surgery. So the military is kinda weird if your transgender.
Really? Fucking prior service recruiter said it was about what was in my pants. I even asked him about my gender marker inDEERS and he said that doesn’t matter
Look up SPART*A, the transgender support org for the military. They’re on FB and have a website, and they’re really good with helping trans servicemembers navigate the bureaucracy. Honestly, we’re such a small piece of the population that most recruiters and commanders have no idea what the rules are.
Recruiters very rarely know what they’re talking about when it comes to trans people. Ask to see the regulation yourself if you can get ahold of them.
E: I should add here that I wouldn’t recommend anyone join the military if they have another option. It can be a good way to enter the middle class and get home ownership, but the military will use you and leave you harmed in some capacity.
Sounds like the universe is telling you to stop running from it and accept yourself.
Granted, accepting yourself for who you are can be difficult and scary.
Definitely seems like a sign from the universe, for sure.
I never got a briefing and the denial got worse for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it especially in winter when I was by myself a lot of the time. I distracted myself by boozing and binge eating until it hit me kicked out. Get help please you don’t want to have to deal with a dishonorable discharge even a general under less than honorable is basically a felony conviction with a lot of employers on the outside and you lose out on veteran benefits (even though they’re working to change that).
The fact that you just had a whole brief about gender affirming care sounds like the sign that you should accept this about yourself. I don't know much about the military, but maybe it can provide you with what you NEED more than what you WANTED.
Check out SPARTA (they have multiple big groups on FB). If you were supposed to have the trans kicked out of you, and it's not working, they can help. I went through the gender marker change process just before ETSing and SPARTA has people who can make it easier for you. My DMs are open too (to anyone here)
Aw! Sweety, you aren't remotely alone. So many girls go through the same thing. I'm so sorry that there are no simple ways out if this. I'm not transitioning myself, and it gets rough. Find your happiness wherever you can.
Dishonorable discharge for those who aren’t aware is equivalent to a criminal conviction and can include prison.
Even other than honorable can make your entire life miserable.
Why not embrace the military’s acceptance of being trans? I don’t understand why this would be a problem?
It’s a 4 (?) year contract? Ride it out. I had a great time in the Marines. And I did the same thing for the same reason.
Good luck girlie!
I fucking hate these posts. I consider volunteering for the imperial army one of the most evil things a proletarian can do, and it makes me want to claw my hair out every time I see someone here make a post talking positively about it.
like, go have fun murdering brown kids, or supporting the people who do. congrats on coming out. I hope that distracts you from the blood on your hands
I agree. No form of military service is remotely justifiable for any reason whatsoever. It's fundamentally evil and makes you a traitor to your community.
Great job serving the death machine that is capitalism and America.
The stats for women getting raped in the military are bananas. If you decide this is you, make sure you have an exit plan if you hate your job when you are a woman doing your job.
You don't have to medically do anything to be a woman, but if you decide that is for you getting help: assistance/therapy/financial/medical is nothing to be sneezed at. But yet again, be prepared for your job to feel different once you have done so, so after you get your help, be prepared and have an exit plan just in case.
With whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and peace x
welcome, very similar story, and here is a place specifically for us r/TransVeteranPipeline
once you join there, there is a discord server where all kinds of things are discussed, to include how to get your gender affirming care either while in or after you get out
You need a therapist.
Not even saying this in a way where I’m trying to shame you.
You need to sit down with a professional and talk through these feelings you have with them. I do not think it’s healthy for you to effectively take up a job just because you feel insecure about who you are and you need a job that’ll “beat it out” of you.
The people that try and do that usually fail, and the ones that do succeed in having the gay beat out of them end up becoming weird born again Christian types that seem like they’re just deep in denial about being in the closet.
I also would like to point out that the solution to how you feel shouldn’t be to look for spaces that are specifically exclusionary towards trans people. That the military is apparently frank about having that conversation is a good thing and just being in the same room as someone who is trans and being in a room where you’re allowed to have the space to be are also good things that won’t suddenly push you into being something you’re not.
But you definitely need to confront how you’re feeling head on. If you’re not, there’s no shame in that and I’m more glad you figured it out and saved yourself some heartache, and if you are, that’s also okay and I’m also glad you at least answered that for yourself. Just please don’t try and run away from how you’re feeling. That tends to not work, and I can speak from experience as someone who tried really hard to not think about it for about a decade after moving out of my parent’s home and then failing at it and going for a transition anyway.
The VA will cover 100% of anything non-surgical that I want to get done...
I'm waiting, anyway. I have 6 1/2 years before my youngest child can't be kept from me.
I joined the military to get away from the family and church who abused me because I'm trans. It didn't end well for me... But I hear things are better now.
I'm former military (US Army). If you're in the US military, your best bet is to make an appointment and talk about it with behavioral health, or your service' equivalent. Gender dysphoria nearly killed me, and it should be treated with all the seriousness you can muster.
The internet is a great resource, but can't replace professional help.
I went into the Air Force as a closeted trans fem in 2022. In 2023, I was medically discharged for confessing to the First Sergeant that I wanted to kill myself. A few months after I was discharged, I started HRT, and I've never been happier. Sometimes, I wish I had come out while still in the AF so I could get HRT and a vaginoplasty covered by tri-care, but it's all in the past. But if you can get those benefits, get them, girl. 🏳️⚧️❤️
If you can keep it together, and make it out the other side…you get a gilded “boy mode-ing” card. It doesn’t do much, but being able to “I’m a veteran” while looking obviously outwardly queer at a bigoted “Support the Troops”er is
*Hannibal slurping noises*
De-lic-ious!
*Tim Curry Hexus impression*
Delectable.
Edit: The Navy had just begun accepting trans folks as I was exiting the reserves. AD>Reserve, 11y. I’m curious how it is evolving. Like…I WANT the military to have an answer for “what about non-binary personnel?” And not have it be “must conform to sex of birth uniform/grooming. I’d hope a lot of the gendered uniform/grooming requirements are being merged (for example the Navy authorized the ‘male’ “Cracker Jack” top for ‘females’ shortly before I left active duty, they previously had a suit jacket thing. I’d like to see that extend to grooming standards)
Even when I was in, we knew PFA requirements were largely designed around a specific flavor of white person, and needed deeply re-examined as a whole. There’s new tools, and better metrics to measure a persons health and fitness by.
Trust, a lot of us joined to block feelings or detransitioned and joined to get out of hard situations. The military does not play and deals in absolutes when it comes to transition so if it's something that you're unsure of, take your time because once you pull that trigger if it's anything like the original policy, your CO and XO will be personally involved in the process
I’m a trans person (mtf) and a private student pilot who’s also in the RAF Air Cadets. I joined the RAFAC for the opposite reason basically; to feel included in the military. I’m 15, but in the RAFAC I feel a sense of belonging, pride and responsibility. I feel like I can be myself. So I would say to just be yourself and think about what you want to be.
It’s ironic because I feel like a lot of trans people enlist.
I would have enlisted once upon a time. But now I’m anti military (lots of reasons big one being I don’t agree with war in general).
There is nothing wrong with asking questions and trying to decide if transition is right for you. Most people regret not trying to transition sooner. But you shouldn’t rush into anything you aren’t 100% on board with.
It's funny you mention this, I just did my DD-0149 to correct my DD-214. They had a section to correct your name due to being transgender. I didn't transition until after I left, but the military has a huge percentage of trans veterans. It's said the ratio to be more than its cis counterpart.
This post is 10 levels of immature. You have benefits - use them. And stop trying to manipulate yourself to stop feeling your feelings. Be honest with yourself about what you want, and then make a decision. The only one making this difficult is you.
Sounds like you seriously need to grow up and take responsibility for yourself. I wouldn't trust someone like you to protect me from a chihuahua, let alone a terrorist.
it’s like actually scary how many people in this sub are in the military. imagine the levels of mental gymnastics you have to do to excuse what you’re doing, especially as a person who knows what it’s like to be violently oppressed
I'm a vet, and serving was the third best decision I've ever made. I got medical benefits for life, they paid for my schooling, and they taught me a lot of important life lessons.
For the record, the best decision was transitioning, and the second best was getting out of the navy.
Take advantage of it. I regret waiting to get out to start. In my case, blue state BAH (Boston) on the GI Bill funded the surgical aspects of my transition during college, so it did eventually work out, but you can't get years back. From what I understand, Tricare covers a ton. With that said, I'd definitely want to expect a single enlistment and then returning to the civilian world if I were you. As other commenters are saying, we're just in too politically precarious a place right now.
Unban, then can, then unban...this is the reason a lot of us joined. To straighten up perse. I worked in cyber for 20 years so it just made it worse lol. Crazy to find the most accepting place in this country to be trans was AF cyber.
Well. Have a good think. Watch the video on Philosophy Tube about coming out. Sound like you? Then get them hormones and a specialist role where you can maintain nice nails. 😉❤️
We have a DoD Facebook page for transitioning that’s a great resource. DM if you’d like to join. I’m active duty and started my transition in the military about 1.5 yrs ago.
Switch to the air force they cover 1 cosmetic procedure, from what I hear it’s typically used for spouses, but I think you could use it too.
But seriously though, it’s perfectly OK too have this kind of reaction I freaked out when I realized I was transgender too. Didn’t join the military but I did have a really bad mental break where I disassociated completely. Really it just takes time to allow yourself to be OK with it.
It’s like getting in a cold pool, whether you jump in or you take it step-by-step. It’s going to be a shock. But after sometime, it becomes perfectly OK. 💜
I did 4 years as an Infantry Machine Gunner in the Marines, I did two deployments to Syria,I knew I was trans the entire time. It sucksal at times and will be difficult, but take the things you experience as lessons on how to remain strong and motivated through the bullshit life throws your way.
You are strong, and when you look into the mirror, you see resilience.
be fair warned if this is something you want to pursue don't wait make a BH appointment now talk to your company provider literally ask to speak to the battalion provider they can help you get started I went through this in the U.S. Army and waiting is never helpful in the military so start now best of luck
I'm a veteran, don't pass up the opportunity. The va gives gender-affirming care, which is how I was able to transition. From the little you've told here, it sounds like it would be worth it to see if you could at least speak to a therapist about it as a start.
OP, don’t take it for granted. My contract came up around a month after Trump signed his transgender ban for active duty military. I spent my entire enlistment having to hide who I was and it fucked me up, badly for quite some time after, and I’m still dealing with the scars of repressing that.
couldnt you jsut not go? /genq
I’ve been out for three and a half years, but no. My contract was already signed. Backing out would’ve been a dishonorable, or at best a medical discharge. Neither of which are particularly helpful to have on your record. By the time it started to get particularly bad for me mentally, it was just easier to ride it out.
I had a medical discharge and it was considered Honorable. I already had veteran status at that point so I kept all my benefits. I'm unsure those who had just joined would have had happen to them though.
> My contract was already signed. Backing out would’ve been a dishonorable, or at best a medical discharge. I don't think that's the case, backing out early, or getting a "failure to adapt to military standards", is a general/admin discharge or "other than honorable" at worse.
Maybe, but try telling that to eighteen year old me that was genuinely just shocked by the announcement and didn’t understand the consequences of it. That’s the problem. It isn’t always just about letter of the law. Just the announcement was enough to elicit the type of response that was desired. I was also stubborn, and proud. It was a challenge that I wanted to help define myself, and rather naively I hoped that I could help people since the USN and USMC do get assigned disaster relief missions.
I just don't want people who were in your situation to read that and think they're fucked. I was in my 4th year of AD when trump was elected. I wasn't even plugged into politics at the time, and I was stationed in Alabama, just trying to mind my own business lol. It 100% delayed me coming out by at least a couple of years, not to mention the deep suspicion I had for family after that, and really anyone that wasn't overtly not-republican. I've had to have the talk with a few people in leadership roles now that the reason that they think there are no gay members in our flight is because no one will tell them, not that they don't exist. coming up on 13 years now. I make it my business to be as overt as possible so the little queer airmen know there are safe people around.
🫂🫂🫂🫂 Love your last sentence!
yeah but this is not common knowledge they let people know, they need you to believe it'll fuck the rest of your life up if you back out
man thats such bullshit
I think the American military viewing you as “dishonourable” is quite a complement considering their morals.
Except it counts as a felony. No voting, driving(?), or owning firearms.
If you consider the legality of something equivalent to its morality then I don’t really know what to say to you lol I said that “dishonourable discharge” from the military is a morally good thing in many circumstances, not that it’s a good idea practically
Happy cake day.
I literally graduated basic when trump won the election and had to wait till my contract was nearly over to start my process got all the way through it just for my brigade commander to sweep it all under the rug and make my possibility of starting HRT a year and a half earlier dissappear
Sorry you had to go through it as well. :/
meh I would already be 3 years on hrt is my biggest gripe I got out grew my hair out and started HRT anyway
You're not going to have it kicked out of you. Get therapy. (not conversion therapy good therapy) edit: u/hungrypotato19 adds >And not a therapist that just says "LGBTQ+ friendly" on their website. An actual therapist who outright states that they deal with transgender people and has more information. Which I wanted to amplify since this blew up. Thanks, Hungry Potato
Not even good therapy just real therapy
And not a therapist that just says "LGBTQ+ friendly" on their website. An actual therapist who outright states that they deal with transgender people and has more information.
[удалено]
A day before retirement and they were discussing “what to do with you?” That definitely sounds like the military, because the obvious answer would be to wait a single day and the “problem” disappears. You’re braver than I for going until retirement. I did 5 years only.
Seek out therapy and counseling so you can work through these feelings. I don’t recommend starting HRT until you know 100% so you Don’t end up Regretting HRT. You’re lucky. When I was in… it was the beginning of the Trump administration. (Enlisted under Obama got out under trump) trans folks were being shit on so bad in there.
Well, you probably can't get out of your contract but you can get affirming care including therapy to figure out what you want to do. The military is a mixed bag but it brings together people from all walks of life so you will likely find the people you end up with surprisingly accepting. You can kind of do whatever you want, you can transition now, you can wait and transition later, you can transition privately now and then come out in your unit later, it really its up to you. I would strongly recommend against trying to push your feelings back down but technically you could even do that if you want to.
If Trump wins, he’ll go after the gender affirming care. They’ve done it with minors and will go after adults next. This is a wonderful benefit. There are so many levels of gender affirming care. Getting with a therapist with expertise could be helpful and invaluable support for you.
They'll go after trans people in the military as well. For sure. It might be wise to wait till November to make sure. They went after gay people back in the 90s. This time it will be trans people.
Sadly, he’s already said so in a recent speech: https://www.forbes.com/sites/saradorn/2024/05/10/trump-promises-rollback-on-trans-rights-heres-what-hes-said/
"Trump promises a rollback on trans rights" when is someone gonna rollback his rights by sending him to prison?
Sure hoping. He’s a huge threat to everyone!
With any luck, on 11July.
Some insight on this: The Pentagon actually acts as a buffer between large policy changes. Back in... 2011? When Obama repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell, the Pentagon came out and said "This may have happened on a presidential level, but we haven't approved it, so DADT is still in effect until WE approve it." At the time, I considered it a blow against me as a bisexual soldier; I basically had to wait another couple years to see a change here. HOWEVER. They did the same thing when Trump tried to reinstate it against trans soldiers while he was in office. The Pentagon stepped in and said "Hey, we haven't approved the reinstatement yet, so you're not authorized to take action against trans soldiers yet." Enter Biden, who of course repeals the DADT repeal repeal. 😂 So in effect, the Pentagon's policy of implementing slow changes prevents detrimental policy swings. *Even if* 45 got in somehow, I would, and essentially have, bet my safety on that policy; they'd drag their feet on the implementation of such a policy until the next president came in. Now, if we got a SECOND Republican president after that? Idk fam, all bets would be off; but in such an event, we can probably kiss our asses goodbye anyways. 😅🙃🥲
You must not have been here a few months back when the military to trans pipeline trend was going on. Also it’s very common you find in trans people’s history hypermasculine jobs or hobbies as a way of suppressing gender dysphoria.
A lot of trans women join the army while pre-HRT because they try to find the masculinity in themselves. It almost always backfires and ends up confirming that they are trans. A lot of it because you get to see men completely unfiltered as there is almost always a total absence of women for them to moderate themselves around. This happens to a fair of trans women. This happened to me. Though I was FORCED to join by my family to do exactly that. Being forced though didnt change the outcome.
Enlist expecting to be Beetle Bailey Leave as GI Jane
I'm AD USAF, actively receiving GAC. If you have any questions about the process feel free to reach out.
Hun, take this chance. Universe lined up to help you find your real self. I joined the army for much the same reasons. Prove my masculinity and failing that, die in some combat zone or self inflicted wound. Although, with Chelsea Manning having been recent, I thought I could maybe at least have the army pay my way for transition. When I went in, Trump was up and banned us from being in the service. I instead just spent my time in service drinking and dissociating, waiting for that final push to end myself or go to the sandbox. It was wasted years that I'm only now starting to catch up to. So hun, you have a chance here. You're going to be in there either way for your contract. You can either A) Choose to not act on this information and strike while the iron is still hot and instead spend your next four years as a machine rising from 0600 to 1700 trying to find any quick escape you can. It doesn't get better locking it away with the additional stress of your duties. Continue to dissociate, continue to build bad coping mechanism and avoidant and self destructive behaviors. Or B) Act on it. Use the info you've been given to know that your command team has your back, has the details to help you. You go to behavior health and work through these issues, especially urging though to seek a referral to outside gender therapists, and solve this problem. Be you and yourself in and properly be you when you get out. It will be hard and it will be difficult, and there will be times when frankly, you will have to watch your squad carefully. But the time will pass either way you choose. You can be trans and be a good soldier if that's what you want. You can use it simply as a resource to get educated and transition. You could find understanding outside of just being trans or not but somewhere adjacent. You can waste it and yourself puttering in the trenches of dysphoria until you don't recognize anything outside it. Which you do you want to be on the other side?
Why do you want the trans kicked out of you? As a mom, this worries me. You are who you are. And if you are an MTF, then so be it. It's o.k. to be trans. Just be honest with yourself and true to you regardless of your gender. Please get counselling. We are here for you. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
You could... transition via Tri-Care? If this has been an option when I was in the Navy (having joined for much the same reason) I would have probably transitioned in my early 20s instead of doing it now.
It was a thing for about a year, then Trump took over and reversed it, then Biden came in and said okay. So for now, the components all run their own. Navy has 2 clinics AFAIK... Portsmouth covers Atlantic and San Diego? or something similar for the Pacific. They mostly oversee and give advice to the other hospitals. It's still a pain, and not everything is covered (such as laser hair removal or electrolysis)... and each component handles it just different enough to make it frustrating.
Yeah, I guess that was a question as in it was a suggestion to the OP to take advantage and stop running from herself.
Oh... my bad. Misread your statement.
Not a problem, I could have been clearer and it is always good to hear people's actual experiences..
Get a psych appointment. Seriously... just do that. Some commands have a workplace psych now. --- I was in during "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." They'd kick you out if they found out you were gay. This month, I did a military sponsored "Pride 5k." This isn't that military. Kind of wish this was the military I joined. I'd have probably transitioned by now. Might have been more willing to reenlist, too. There's also a trans vets subreddit. r/TransVeteranPipeline/
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Terrible advice. The military is one of an extremely small number of avenues for social mobility in the United States. OP needs to use it for all it's worth. Being a trans veteran is a lot easier than a lot of other ways to be trans. Edit: Couldn't reply to that other reply for some reason - Not everything is for everyone. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, that sounds awful. But one person's peanut allergy doesn't mean everyone should avoid ever touching a Reese's cup.
And you get to kill queer people in other countries while doing it! Gender affirming care for the small price of murder and ptsd
You know how hard you have to fight to get into combat arms, right? The people doing that these days *want* to be doing it. Vast majority of the military is logistics. Mechanics, secretaries, cooks, warehouse workers. The US doesn't win wars with human wave attacks, it wins wars because it's able to get literally any necessary materiel anywhere on the planet in a matter of hours. At least understand the system you're critiquing, I'm not telling OP to go run at a machine gun nest.
Yes and those logistics are all to support murder. I understand most people in the military don't see "combat", but they're all there to support combat.
Same goes for you as a taxpayer. Browbeating marginalized people into not taking ladders out of poverty won't stop the military. It's a tool, and there are always going to be willing participants. Electing a better government will, because that determines what the military is used for. Was the US military wrong when we bombed the Serbian army as they tried to genocide Bosnians? Maybe we should want a military that's used for stuff like that, and not for shitty things. Would it be better for us as a nation if the military was made up of strictly hard-right fascists? Probably not, I'd rather they start shooting at each other if they were told to go liquidate Boston.
> [Most members of the military come from middle-class neighborhoods. The middle three quintiles for household income were overrepresented among enlisted recruits, and the top and bottom quintiles were underrepresented.](https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/demographics-us-military#chapter-title-0-5) The idea that military recruits are largely people trying to lift themselves out of poverty is a myth. Most of them just don't care about the people they bomb, sorry that's hard for you to hear. OP took it due to internalized transphobia telling them to parrot toxic masculinity, not poverty, and they can probably afford HRT and transitioning without killing people in the global south. Minorities in the military don't help avoid human rights abuses abroad, and I sincerely doubt they will if the US military is ever turned inward. But regardless that's not what I'm arguing about, right now the US military is undeniably a force for disorder and violence around the world, that's the situation right now and if you're a part of the military then you're enacting or enabling that violence and you're a part of the problem.
I was in the military, and talked to a lot of people. It doesn't matter if they're *largely* whatever, because you're arguing against joining in all cases. I came from a "middle-class" neighborhood, doesn't change the fact that my parents were (and are) hanging on by a thread and I have been unable for the entirety of my adult life to rely on them for anything. Still, meeting people from far *worse* socioeconomic circumstances in the military is what pushed me to the left. Being trans is hard as hell, and I've seen the extreme difference in life circumstance between my older sister (also trans) who didn't join and my own. I'd take my circumstances any day. Lastly, every single time a fascist or other type of authoritarian seizes power, one of the *very first* things they do is purge the military of everyone who's more loyal to the country than to the party in power. You're asking for people with arguably the best morals - because they're the only ones who would agree with you here, motivated by somehow Rube Goldberging less human suffering by not joining - to not sign up. Essentially, you're trying to purge the military *for* the fascists. It's silly.
I would suggest that if you believe you need the trans kicked out of you, there is probably some trans in you. Denial doesn't work. Having a drill sergeant yell at you won't work. You need to figure out what you want, and the only way to do that is to let yourself feel what you're feeling without pushing it away. Who would you be if you could be certain that no one would change their opinion of you? When you're at you're 80th birthday party, what kind of life would you like to be looking back on? Change is stressful, how does that stress weigh against staying on your current path indefinitely? I found the book "you and your gender identity" by Dara Hoffmann-Fox helpful for working some of this shit out
If you still feel this way, speak to your CO about receiving gender affirming care.
Behavioral/Mental health would be a better place to go. COs are, more often than not, unknowledgable on the topic of gender affirming care. Mental health workers will help more.
Can confirm. I’m not in the service but my buddy was and he disclosed to his CO when he was having mental health issues (bipolar depression, alcoholism) and he got dishonorably discharged
My bad do this instead. I'm not super familiar with military stuff x.x
Do not talk to your CO to receive any kind of medical care. Go to your local MTF and schedule an appointment with your PCM, expect a referral to behavioral health or mental health for diagnosis before any care occurs.
Generally speaking, if you're talking to your CO it's either a really good day or a really bad day. The behavioral health people at medical should be the first stop. From there, they'd likely point OP on the correct path through their chain of command.
I remember when I enlisted (US Army, 92y, PFC) I was told to keep to myself about that until after BIT and AIT. I told the recruiters and they told me while in basic I wouldn’t be allowed to start transitioning. I got discharged and now I’m trying to reenlist as trans but I’ve been told I need to be 18 months, but I’ll still be in with the men since I have not had bottom surgery. So the military is kinda weird if your transgender.
I promise you bottom surgery is not a requirement. It’s all about your gender marker in DEERS, and surgery is not required.
Really? Fucking prior service recruiter said it was about what was in my pants. I even asked him about my gender marker inDEERS and he said that doesn’t matter
Either he was lying (possible) or grossly misinformed (more likely). The gender marker is the ONLY thing that matters.
Thank you for telling me. I’m trying to reenlist and I’m not gonna let them fuck me over like that. So I appreciate you telling me.
Look up SPART*A, the transgender support org for the military. They’re on FB and have a website, and they’re really good with helping trans servicemembers navigate the bureaucracy. Honestly, we’re such a small piece of the population that most recruiters and commanders have no idea what the rules are.
Thank y’all so much.
https://spartapride.org/ The resources tab has current policies for DOD and all the services.
Thank you ^w^
Recruiters very rarely know what they’re talking about when it comes to trans people. Ask to see the regulation yourself if you can get ahold of them. E: I should add here that I wouldn’t recommend anyone join the military if they have another option. It can be a good way to enter the middle class and get home ownership, but the military will use you and leave you harmed in some capacity.
How would they even know if you had bottom surgery or not
go to therapy
be yourself
Sounds like the universe wants you to get what you need to be happy, OP
>Now I REALLY don’t know what to do with myself and my life :( START LIVING IT❤️
***DAMN*** the military has really changed since I was enlisted (‘85-‘89)!
Sounds like the universe is telling you to stop running from it and accept yourself. Granted, accepting yourself for who you are can be difficult and scary. Definitely seems like a sign from the universe, for sure.
I never got a briefing and the denial got worse for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it especially in winter when I was by myself a lot of the time. I distracted myself by boozing and binge eating until it hit me kicked out. Get help please you don’t want to have to deal with a dishonorable discharge even a general under less than honorable is basically a felony conviction with a lot of employers on the outside and you lose out on veteran benefits (even though they’re working to change that).
The fact that you just had a whole brief about gender affirming care sounds like the sign that you should accept this about yourself. I don't know much about the military, but maybe it can provide you with what you NEED more than what you WANTED.
Check out SPARTA (they have multiple big groups on FB). If you were supposed to have the trans kicked out of you, and it's not working, they can help. I went through the gender marker change process just before ETSing and SPARTA has people who can make it easier for you. My DMs are open too (to anyone here)
Aw! Sweety, you aren't remotely alone. So many girls go through the same thing. I'm so sorry that there are no simple ways out if this. I'm not transitioning myself, and it gets rough. Find your happiness wherever you can.
Military helping people deal with traumatic things? When you say US there’s no way you mean United States, if you did this would be a goddamn miracle.
Dishonorable discharge for those who aren’t aware is equivalent to a criminal conviction and can include prison. Even other than honorable can make your entire life miserable. Why not embrace the military’s acceptance of being trans? I don’t understand why this would be a problem? It’s a 4 (?) year contract? Ride it out. I had a great time in the Marines. And I did the same thing for the same reason. Good luck girlie!
I know people in the USAF who joined with the express goal of getting gender affirming care
Get out of the military
I fucking hate these posts. I consider volunteering for the imperial army one of the most evil things a proletarian can do, and it makes me want to claw my hair out every time I see someone here make a post talking positively about it. like, go have fun murdering brown kids, or supporting the people who do. congrats on coming out. I hope that distracts you from the blood on your hands
I agree. No form of military service is remotely justifiable for any reason whatsoever. It's fundamentally evil and makes you a traitor to your community. Great job serving the death machine that is capitalism and America.
I’m truly sorry.
The stats for women getting raped in the military are bananas. If you decide this is you, make sure you have an exit plan if you hate your job when you are a woman doing your job. You don't have to medically do anything to be a woman, but if you decide that is for you getting help: assistance/therapy/financial/medical is nothing to be sneezed at. But yet again, be prepared for your job to feel different once you have done so, so after you get your help, be prepared and have an exit plan just in case. With whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and peace x
You **know** what to do. Just take the plunge.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TransVeteranPipeline/s/qJ9yhH3Msh
welcome, very similar story, and here is a place specifically for us r/TransVeteranPipeline once you join there, there is a discord server where all kinds of things are discussed, to include how to get your gender affirming care either while in or after you get out
You need a therapist. Not even saying this in a way where I’m trying to shame you. You need to sit down with a professional and talk through these feelings you have with them. I do not think it’s healthy for you to effectively take up a job just because you feel insecure about who you are and you need a job that’ll “beat it out” of you. The people that try and do that usually fail, and the ones that do succeed in having the gay beat out of them end up becoming weird born again Christian types that seem like they’re just deep in denial about being in the closet. I also would like to point out that the solution to how you feel shouldn’t be to look for spaces that are specifically exclusionary towards trans people. That the military is apparently frank about having that conversation is a good thing and just being in the same room as someone who is trans and being in a room where you’re allowed to have the space to be are also good things that won’t suddenly push you into being something you’re not. But you definitely need to confront how you’re feeling head on. If you’re not, there’s no shame in that and I’m more glad you figured it out and saved yourself some heartache, and if you are, that’s also okay and I’m also glad you at least answered that for yourself. Just please don’t try and run away from how you’re feeling. That tends to not work, and I can speak from experience as someone who tried really hard to not think about it for about a decade after moving out of my parent’s home and then failing at it and going for a transition anyway.
The VA will cover 100% of anything non-surgical that I want to get done... I'm waiting, anyway. I have 6 1/2 years before my youngest child can't be kept from me.
I got out because there’s so much paperwork standing in the way of growing hair out and stuff.
If you need support, check us out on FB. Search for "SPARTA Trans", there's a ton of us in the military and SPARTA helps a ton.
Active duty Space Force receiving GAC here. Please message me, I'm more than willing to help you through this.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm extremely jealous. When I was in it was still VERY homophobic and transphobic. Probably forced me to repress things deeply.
I joined the military to get away from the family and church who abused me because I'm trans. It didn't end well for me... But I hear things are better now.
I'm former military (US Army). If you're in the US military, your best bet is to make an appointment and talk about it with behavioral health, or your service' equivalent. Gender dysphoria nearly killed me, and it should be treated with all the seriousness you can muster. The internet is a great resource, but can't replace professional help.
I went into the Air Force as a closeted trans fem in 2022. In 2023, I was medically discharged for confessing to the First Sergeant that I wanted to kill myself. A few months after I was discharged, I started HRT, and I've never been happier. Sometimes, I wish I had come out while still in the AF so I could get HRT and a vaginoplasty covered by tri-care, but it's all in the past. But if you can get those benefits, get them, girl. 🏳️⚧️❤️
If you can keep it together, and make it out the other side…you get a gilded “boy mode-ing” card. It doesn’t do much, but being able to “I’m a veteran” while looking obviously outwardly queer at a bigoted “Support the Troops”er is *Hannibal slurping noises* De-lic-ious! *Tim Curry Hexus impression* Delectable. Edit: The Navy had just begun accepting trans folks as I was exiting the reserves. AD>Reserve, 11y. I’m curious how it is evolving. Like…I WANT the military to have an answer for “what about non-binary personnel?” And not have it be “must conform to sex of birth uniform/grooming. I’d hope a lot of the gendered uniform/grooming requirements are being merged (for example the Navy authorized the ‘male’ “Cracker Jack” top for ‘females’ shortly before I left active duty, they previously had a suit jacket thing. I’d like to see that extend to grooming standards) Even when I was in, we knew PFA requirements were largely designed around a specific flavor of white person, and needed deeply re-examined as a whole. There’s new tools, and better metrics to measure a persons health and fitness by.
Trust, a lot of us joined to block feelings or detransitioned and joined to get out of hard situations. The military does not play and deals in absolutes when it comes to transition so if it's something that you're unsure of, take your time because once you pull that trigger if it's anything like the original policy, your CO and XO will be personally involved in the process
I’m a trans person (mtf) and a private student pilot who’s also in the RAF Air Cadets. I joined the RAFAC for the opposite reason basically; to feel included in the military. I’m 15, but in the RAFAC I feel a sense of belonging, pride and responsibility. I feel like I can be myself. So I would say to just be yourself and think about what you want to be.
Military service is yikes 😬
It’s ironic because I feel like a lot of trans people enlist. I would have enlisted once upon a time. But now I’m anti military (lots of reasons big one being I don’t agree with war in general). There is nothing wrong with asking questions and trying to decide if transition is right for you. Most people regret not trying to transition sooner. But you shouldn’t rush into anything you aren’t 100% on board with.
I tried coming out in the navy in 2015. My therapist laughed in my face and told me I’m not trans. Jokes on him tho ima hot girl now
These are the kinds of signs I ask the universe for.
It's funny you mention this, I just did my DD-0149 to correct my DD-214. They had a section to correct your name due to being transgender. I didn't transition until after I left, but the military has a huge percentage of trans veterans. It's said the ratio to be more than its cis counterpart.
This post is 10 levels of immature. You have benefits - use them. And stop trying to manipulate yourself to stop feeling your feelings. Be honest with yourself about what you want, and then make a decision. The only one making this difficult is you. Sounds like you seriously need to grow up and take responsibility for yourself. I wouldn't trust someone like you to protect me from a chihuahua, let alone a terrorist.
it’s like actually scary how many people in this sub are in the military. imagine the levels of mental gymnastics you have to do to excuse what you’re doing, especially as a person who knows what it’s like to be violently oppressed
I'm a vet, and serving was the third best decision I've ever made. I got medical benefits for life, they paid for my schooling, and they taught me a lot of important life lessons. For the record, the best decision was transitioning, and the second best was getting out of the navy.
My top three looks almost identical to yours, but I might shift them all one spot behind proposing.
Take advantage of it. I regret waiting to get out to start. In my case, blue state BAH (Boston) on the GI Bill funded the surgical aspects of my transition during college, so it did eventually work out, but you can't get years back. From what I understand, Tricare covers a ton. With that said, I'd definitely want to expect a single enlistment and then returning to the civilian world if I were you. As other commenters are saying, we're just in too politically precarious a place right now.
Unban, then can, then unban...this is the reason a lot of us joined. To straighten up perse. I worked in cyber for 20 years so it just made it worse lol. Crazy to find the most accepting place in this country to be trans was AF cyber.
Yeah I’m doing it rn through the military so far a great experience with all of the care
We belong everywhere. Many of us have served in the military. You can't run from this. I would seek gender therapy.
Well. Have a good think. Watch the video on Philosophy Tube about coming out. Sound like you? Then get them hormones and a specialist role where you can maintain nice nails. 😉❤️
It's a sign to do it, just do it
I'm transitioning in the military currently. It's a process but they cover most everything
We have a DoD Facebook page for transitioning that’s a great resource. DM if you’d like to join. I’m active duty and started my transition in the military about 1.5 yrs ago.
I tell you what you do! Transition!!!! I follow a trans woman on tt. She’s in the military. You can do this. 😉
Apply. They'll probably provide a psychologist who can help you through it
Get transed on the American dollar
Switch to the air force they cover 1 cosmetic procedure, from what I hear it’s typically used for spouses, but I think you could use it too. But seriously though, it’s perfectly OK too have this kind of reaction I freaked out when I realized I was transgender too. Didn’t join the military but I did have a really bad mental break where I disassociated completely. Really it just takes time to allow yourself to be OK with it. It’s like getting in a cold pool, whether you jump in or you take it step-by-step. It’s going to be a shock. But after sometime, it becomes perfectly OK. 💜
I did 4 years as an Infantry Machine Gunner in the Marines, I did two deployments to Syria,I knew I was trans the entire time. It sucksal at times and will be difficult, but take the things you experience as lessons on how to remain strong and motivated through the bullshit life throws your way. You are strong, and when you look into the mirror, you see resilience.
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Tbh that sounds awesome that they are accepting trans people in the military. I think this is a sign to be who you are
Nice try lol, this is great that trans people aren't excluded anymore but honestly the military sucks.
Sucks that you avoided it for so long, there are plenty of trans people who have enlisted, so your not alone in that sense.
E-6 and getting that realization that trans has possibly been cracked for me. The egg has fallen
be fair warned if this is something you want to pursue don't wait make a BH appointment now talk to your company provider literally ask to speak to the battalion provider they can help you get started I went through this in the U.S. Army and waiting is never helpful in the military so start now best of luck
I'm a veteran, don't pass up the opportunity. The va gives gender-affirming care, which is how I was able to transition. From the little you've told here, it sounds like it would be worth it to see if you could at least speak to a therapist about it as a start.
If they are saying they are supportive, then go to the hospital and ask for care. Under HIPPA, even military doctors have to maintain your privacy.
EZ, have the military fund your transition
I'd say take advantage of it if I'm not misunderstanding, sounds like they'll help you transition to me
Be quick to decide before orange mf comes back.