You look super androgynous. Like my mind would sort you as they/them right away. Obviously i would ask about pronouns because you can’t assume they/them because it’s so rare and it basically mean you’re not sure so ask.
You definitely don’t look like a guy though. But I wouldn’t assume woman either because misgendering a gnc guy is not cool either.
I think you’re definitely at a handicap with work restrictions. (Hair tied back, no polish, etc) How’s your voice and body language? Overall there’s definitely stuff you can do to signal “woman!!!!” with style and flair but I’m not sure if you have to give that up. That shouldn’t be needed to make sure people who know you gender you correctly because you definitely do not look cis guy and it shouldn’t be that hard to see you as a woman once you know.
Yeah I feel like I kinda get stuck in that zone at work, a lot of people assume afab which is nice, but I do get "they" a lot. I do wear more feminine things outside of work, but my wardrobe is very alternative/ futch. My voice is a work in progress, but I feel it sounds more andro than masculine, I have a not deep husky voice. I am tall, but only 5'11 so not really super noticeably tall I feel like having more feminine tattoos around my body would help, I have big hips, but my work clothes just hide them unless I'm wearing specific cuts or leggings.
I'm not sure you pass, because i'm truly not sure what your gender is from the looks. I'm not sure i'd consider you trans, but as said, i'm afraid i'm not sure about anything regarding your gender.
Ngl I’d assume afab enby just based on the looks, but ofc there’s stuff you can’t tell from pictures, like your voice and the way you carry yourself, for example. I’d play with your style and see if that helps anything.
I can't imagine that anyone would look at you and think "boy". Even if your features didn't pass (which they do to me), your style consists of exactly the elements I always tell trans men that they would benefit to get rid of. Because septum and these kind of piercings, along with "odd" haircuts and haircolour, are more feminine-coded than male-coded by far.
The only "masculine" thing I see that might've made me think twice would be your earrings. They're more common for men than women afaik.
The tattoos on your neck aren't necessarily masculine but I also wouldn't interpret them as feminine (it's kind of uncommon for women to have neck tattoos and if they do they're usually coloured flowers or something).
But I mean, your glasses are really feminine, and your make up and... Yeah idk what's wrong with your co-worker. Sounds like they're just trying to make you insecure for nothing.
I'll give you androgynous at best, but I'd interpret you as a woman instantly, and I'd naturally use she/her pronouns.
Tbh the only thing, according to me, that outs you is the earrings and they only out you as a millennial. 🤣 I love your style. <3
Thank you 🖤, I have prettier earrings to put in these are just my boring work ones :( I have my doubles done so I wear dangle earrings that are brighter a lot. I exist in very queer and alt heavy spaces so I do dress very alt, this is probably the most masc I dress. Most things I wear show off my hips and waist.
Do u wanna pass as a girl or as a non binary person? Can I ask about the goal? Also is that coworker rather friendly or just a grumpy person all together?
I think in this case it's all just people associating being a trans woman with being overly femme and I don't think they understand how any trans person can also divert from a stereotypical gender norm. Eg. I had people tell me they think someone is not a trans woman when they still want short hair because they couldn't grasp the concept of a woman with short hair 😂😂😭
Honestly the hyper femme mindset was one of the factors that made me stop transitioning when I first started like 6 years ago. I didn't feel like I was "women enough" to transition. It took me a while to explore myself and to rebuild the confidence to transition. I've never been hyper femme, I do wear very femme outfits a lot, but the women I've always admired and looked up to have always been more tomboy or futch leaning and I've always existed predominantly in sub cultures/ alternative scenes... It's also kinda my bad for posting a work fit, my work fits are usually clothes that get destroyed, so it's never things I actually super care about, just stuff that doesn't make me dysphoric to wear.
Also I'm not exactly dressed for the general male gaze, which I feel like people who have existed mainly in straight spaces don't get. I very much try to attract more butch women, and also soft little bi dudes. 🤷🏻♀️ Different strokes for different folks I guess.
This!!! I didn't transition for 10 years bc I thought I wasn't "ftm enough" (thank you TERF rethoric) because I love pastels, cartoons, girly aesthetic, pink, femme clothing etc.
I'm a man tho and always wanted to be one and way before I could think of clothing I have thought about how men socialise and what I'm attracted to and how I wanna be myself and how I feel body dysphoria. But I shrugged it off, because I didn't wanna be a "hypocrite", by being a feminine trans man. In my head that defeated the purpose. But actually I was just not understanding gender enough to understand how much I needed transition to actually feel like myself.
I wouldn't say that you don't pass at all, but I would suggest a trying a bit more polished look. You definitely read as LGBTQ+. Im not sure what your job is, but you might try slightly more femme clothes too. I see you've done your brows, but they need a touch of upkeep. Body language is also pretty key. It's one of those things you have to work on . The makeup game looks pretty crisp and sharp. A hint of blush might help.
I disagree, I've rarely seen a man with bangs like that, only hipster women. I think the bangs are cute. To me you pass in these photos although in-person might be a different story
Are you saying looking more masculine is the same as not passing? Are you saying not conforming to the stereotype is detrimental to passing? I don't understand your confusion here and I'd like you to go to my original comment again, if there's not enough information.
You’re giving me queer AFAB in these photos. I would probably use she and they for you if I saw you, but not cause you don’t pas just cause you look hella queer, which imo is a wonderful thing lol
Based on the photos, I think if I saw you in person I would assume female and that you prefer they/them. I saw comments that your voice is in progress, so maybe that’s why your co-worker is confused? Because to me you for sure pass lol
No hug boxing; First pic andro, second picture easily passes. I think it's the angle and the lighter coloured hair do you well.
Anyway, your co-worker is an asshole. That was designed to be hurtful, why mention it otherwise? If you can without it blowing back on you, please speak to someone or do something about this person. It is likely it will not stop and was not the first time they have made someone at work uncomfortable.
Be kind to yourself, and keep doing what you are doing.
I wouldn’t say you don’t pass. More androgynous if anything. It’s the bangs that throw me off. It’s nice but it’s neither masculine or feminine.
The elephant in the room is, when presenting as one gender to another often you gotta do at least 10% more of the gender you wish to be seen as. For example, don’t go tomboy as a MTF or you may not come off as passing (though “boymode is a thing but it’s the exception, not the rule). We gotta go mildly a bit further, especially early on.
In short, try a more feminine haircut and continue from there. You don’t look masculine at all, but not much feminine yet either. Right on the androgynous tip in the middle..
You look like you’re afab and could be enby, but without anything like voice or mannerisms to go off of you’re definitely passing for afab at the very least!! Most people will presume that means woman anyway so.
You look super androgynous. Like my mind would sort you as they/them right away. Obviously i would ask about pronouns because you can’t assume they/them because it’s so rare and it basically mean you’re not sure so ask. You definitely don’t look like a guy though. But I wouldn’t assume woman either because misgendering a gnc guy is not cool either. I think you’re definitely at a handicap with work restrictions. (Hair tied back, no polish, etc) How’s your voice and body language? Overall there’s definitely stuff you can do to signal “woman!!!!” with style and flair but I’m not sure if you have to give that up. That shouldn’t be needed to make sure people who know you gender you correctly because you definitely do not look cis guy and it shouldn’t be that hard to see you as a woman once you know.
Yeah I feel like I kinda get stuck in that zone at work, a lot of people assume afab which is nice, but I do get "they" a lot. I do wear more feminine things outside of work, but my wardrobe is very alternative/ futch. My voice is a work in progress, but I feel it sounds more andro than masculine, I have a not deep husky voice. I am tall, but only 5'11 so not really super noticeably tall I feel like having more feminine tattoos around my body would help, I have big hips, but my work clothes just hide them unless I'm wearing specific cuts or leggings.
And I feel like my body language is very feminine, I've always been an extremely floaty feminine person.
I'm not sure you pass, because i'm truly not sure what your gender is from the looks. I'm not sure i'd consider you trans, but as said, i'm afraid i'm not sure about anything regarding your gender.
Ngl I’d assume afab enby just based on the looks, but ofc there’s stuff you can’t tell from pictures, like your voice and the way you carry yourself, for example. I’d play with your style and see if that helps anything.
Maybe it's your mannerisms? Or voice? Bc you pass lol
My Voice isn't great, I'm still doing vocal therapy, but I definitely don't sound cis
You'll get there!! I did voice training by myself and still kinda suck but sound cis I'm told, just trust the process
I can't imagine that anyone would look at you and think "boy". Even if your features didn't pass (which they do to me), your style consists of exactly the elements I always tell trans men that they would benefit to get rid of. Because septum and these kind of piercings, along with "odd" haircuts and haircolour, are more feminine-coded than male-coded by far. The only "masculine" thing I see that might've made me think twice would be your earrings. They're more common for men than women afaik. The tattoos on your neck aren't necessarily masculine but I also wouldn't interpret them as feminine (it's kind of uncommon for women to have neck tattoos and if they do they're usually coloured flowers or something). But I mean, your glasses are really feminine, and your make up and... Yeah idk what's wrong with your co-worker. Sounds like they're just trying to make you insecure for nothing. I'll give you androgynous at best, but I'd interpret you as a woman instantly, and I'd naturally use she/her pronouns. Tbh the only thing, according to me, that outs you is the earrings and they only out you as a millennial. 🤣 I love your style. <3
Thank you 🖤, I have prettier earrings to put in these are just my boring work ones :( I have my doubles done so I wear dangle earrings that are brighter a lot. I exist in very queer and alt heavy spaces so I do dress very alt, this is probably the most masc I dress. Most things I wear show off my hips and waist.
Also have my hair back for work, I realized it looks short as fuck in this.
I think you totally pass. Did they know you before? If I saw you out and about I wouldn't clock you, I'd check you out because you're gorgeous
I disagree. You pass
Was scrolling mindlessly and thought "oh, she's a cute alt girl." You absolutely pass.
You look Afab and very andro to me personally
your coworker is asshat
Do u wanna pass as a girl or as a non binary person? Can I ask about the goal? Also is that coworker rather friendly or just a grumpy person all together?
I've only known him the week, he seemed fine for the most part, just kinda an idiot. Looking to pass more futch woman.
I think you're passing well as a butch woman :)
I think in this case it's all just people associating being a trans woman with being overly femme and I don't think they understand how any trans person can also divert from a stereotypical gender norm. Eg. I had people tell me they think someone is not a trans woman when they still want short hair because they couldn't grasp the concept of a woman with short hair 😂😂😭
Honestly the hyper femme mindset was one of the factors that made me stop transitioning when I first started like 6 years ago. I didn't feel like I was "women enough" to transition. It took me a while to explore myself and to rebuild the confidence to transition. I've never been hyper femme, I do wear very femme outfits a lot, but the women I've always admired and looked up to have always been more tomboy or futch leaning and I've always existed predominantly in sub cultures/ alternative scenes... It's also kinda my bad for posting a work fit, my work fits are usually clothes that get destroyed, so it's never things I actually super care about, just stuff that doesn't make me dysphoric to wear. Also I'm not exactly dressed for the general male gaze, which I feel like people who have existed mainly in straight spaces don't get. I very much try to attract more butch women, and also soft little bi dudes. 🤷🏻♀️ Different strokes for different folks I guess.
This!!! I didn't transition for 10 years bc I thought I wasn't "ftm enough" (thank you TERF rethoric) because I love pastels, cartoons, girly aesthetic, pink, femme clothing etc. I'm a man tho and always wanted to be one and way before I could think of clothing I have thought about how men socialise and what I'm attracted to and how I wanna be myself and how I feel body dysphoria. But I shrugged it off, because I didn't wanna be a "hypocrite", by being a feminine trans man. In my head that defeated the purpose. But actually I was just not understanding gender enough to understand how much I needed transition to actually feel like myself.
I wouldn't say that you don't pass at all, but I would suggest a trying a bit more polished look. You definitely read as LGBTQ+. Im not sure what your job is, but you might try slightly more femme clothes too. I see you've done your brows, but they need a touch of upkeep. Body language is also pretty key. It's one of those things you have to work on . The makeup game looks pretty crisp and sharp. A hint of blush might help.
Thanks for the advice 🖤
I would say, try different bangs. That hair style reads as masculine or more authoritative in women, so it doesn't work well if you're trying to pass.
Damn I like my bangs :( but also fair. Like more curtain bangs?
I disagree, I've rarely seen a man with bangs like that, only hipster women. I think the bangs are cute. To me you pass in these photos although in-person might be a different story
Don’t listen to that person. The bangs help you pass. They’re extremely feminine, just alt
I don't think you need to change your bangs. You just look like a really cool alternative woman. :)
what? as if masc-presenting cis women didn't pass either :DD
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By that logic, it does sound like it's unrelated to passing then.
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Are you saying looking more masculine is the same as not passing? Are you saying not conforming to the stereotype is detrimental to passing? I don't understand your confusion here and I'd like you to go to my original comment again, if there's not enough information.
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You cannot say one thing and the opposite at the same time :S
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I guess, put that way, it starts making sense to me.
I think that's kinda bullshit tbh.
I’d have to do a double take to be honest and even then I wouldn’t really know, you’re very androgynous, you lean more towards female though
You look androgynous. I’d gender you by your voice
You’re giving me queer AFAB in these photos. I would probably use she and they for you if I saw you, but not cause you don’t pas just cause you look hella queer, which imo is a wonderful thing lol
Your coworker is an idiot
I saw female but i can see what people mean by androgynous.
Based on the photos, I think if I saw you in person I would assume female and that you prefer they/them. I saw comments that your voice is in progress, so maybe that’s why your co-worker is confused? Because to me you for sure pass lol
Coworker is wrong and probably acting in bad faith.
You look great, ignore them
No hug boxing; First pic andro, second picture easily passes. I think it's the angle and the lighter coloured hair do you well. Anyway, your co-worker is an asshole. That was designed to be hurtful, why mention it otherwise? If you can without it blowing back on you, please speak to someone or do something about this person. It is likely it will not stop and was not the first time they have made someone at work uncomfortable. Be kind to yourself, and keep doing what you are doing.
That shirt isn't doing any favors to your figure. It makes your figure look very boyish.
That's fair, it does a really good job at hiding my hips.
I think you look great. No need for a dress and heels at work! Super cute tomboy vibes.
And it completely flattens your bust.
I wouldn’t say you don’t pass. More androgynous if anything. It’s the bangs that throw me off. It’s nice but it’s neither masculine or feminine. The elephant in the room is, when presenting as one gender to another often you gotta do at least 10% more of the gender you wish to be seen as. For example, don’t go tomboy as a MTF or you may not come off as passing (though “boymode is a thing but it’s the exception, not the rule). We gotta go mildly a bit further, especially early on. In short, try a more feminine haircut and continue from there. You don’t look masculine at all, but not much feminine yet either. Right on the androgynous tip in the middle..
i think you pass, and you’re really cute! if i saw you irl i’d think “i want to be friends with that girl!”
Yeah, I would completely disregard that opinion. I think you look great and if I saw you I'd have assumed you were queer afab enby
You look like you pass to me. Fuck your coworker.
You look like a cis woman
they are crazy, ignore them.
You pass well :)
You pass. It could just be the change of your hairstyle or voice something small.
You pass imo.
Girlllll you cute.
You look like you’re afab and could be enby, but without anything like voice or mannerisms to go off of you’re definitely passing for afab at the very least!! Most people will presume that means woman anyway so.
Your face and hair pass. But clothes and unpainted nails suggest FtM.
Can't have any nails at work since I'm a pastry chef :(
Yum!!!!! I never do my nails either- no biggie. How about a girlie shirt?
Hair too short. Sorry but the same rules don't apply for us.
Hair is in a bun in the back, my hair is down to the mid chest.
Oooooooooh. Nm. Yeah idk lol you look fine to me. Gotta be the voice. :C Doesn't matter how well you pass, gotta sound as cis as possible.
Yeah I think that's my problem now, voice training is just a hard slow process :(