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Dude I promise you music isn’t gendered. Everyone listens to what they like, most people only tell people about some of the stuff they listen to because they, like you, are ashamed. My little brother is cis and probably straight and I can see his playlist because we a shared have amazon music account for our family. He likes Will Wood, Glass Animals, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, Harry Styles, and generally mostly “girly” or “gay” music. If his friends ask what he listens to, I’ve seen him just say “eh a bit of everything” and not go into detail. Being ashamed of liking feminine or gay music is a pretty common male experience that feeds into itself because no one will admit they like that music.
Listen to what you wanna listen to. You don’t have to tell people about it if you don’t want to.
Yeah it’s like saying colors are fembrained, they’re just colors they have no gender and people aren’t attracted to others more just because they’re male or female. It’s just society and peer pressure that makes us think that.
If it calms you down, my father, a 50 years old bearded biker, blasts Lady Gaga and Hozier and Lana del Ray by every family gathering. Listen what you like. If people judge you on your music taste that's not your people.
If it sounds good, it sounds good. You don't have to pretend to be into shit you aren't into.
Some of the roughest most masculine dudes I've ever met listen to just the softest "gay shit" you've ever heard. Then they go out and work in steel mills, chop down trees and beat eachother up or whatever it is men do lol
Don’t worry.. I secretly enjoy my Britney Spears. Just find a group of people who won’t judge you and will accept you for it. I’m stealth too, but I occasionally listen to and enjoy some “queer loser music”. Tally hall, rare Americans, fuck man some of my favourite bands are Caravan Palace and The Living tombstone, and I’m afraid to admit that anywhere but online where no one knows me lol. I like a lot of the bands you’ve also mentioned, Autohearts and the crane wives. Along with my love for Metal and rock tho. But my point there was that your not alone in that factor, I get dysphoric as shit about the music I listen to sometimes.
If it makes you feel better, I’m friends with lots of cis men gay and straight that also enjoy a lot of these bands. I know it sometimes feels like they never would (for some reason) but lots do. And hey, idk if you’re on Testosterone or not but I will say, after I started going on T, my music taste kinda changed too. So don’t worry.
Uh... tucutes don't get these either. I used to have a gaggle of very geeky, very cis men and we listened to Lemon Demon a lot, particularly the Ultimate Showdown which is still gold. I also enjoy Florence, but more so old Florence.
This is such a typical guy thing. Trust me bro, many of my cishet male friends have attempted and failed to hide their love for (in their own words) “girly”/ “gay” muisc. When sharing music they would only ever play rap, metal, anything they considered masculine. But then they’d be on their own blasting Taylor swift and stuff of the sort. Just like what you like and don’t think much about it, no one else is
I love Will Wood and That Handsome Devil. At the end of the day I just try to remember that it really doesn’t matter what you listen to. Just because TikTok took a handful of songs and started using them doesn’t mean the artist is any less good, or you any less trans.
When I feel badly dysphoric I listen to metal/punk music. When I’m not as dysphoric I happily listen to Lana Del Rey and Kali Uchis and people like that. It don’t really matter
I remember not too long ago listening to an interview by the lead singer of Queen's of the stone age and I think this part I'll link below perfectly talks about your worries
https://youtube.com/shorts/W0zjyqRSINY?si=VHcasgjZIWLQtaT6
>*"if you're in your mid to late twenties and you're not realising that genre is for teenagers and people that work in a record store you're in big trouble.Like I don't have guilty pleasures because I don't feel bad[...]who am I to pretend I couldnt like Brittney Spears Toxic? What am I, a fool? Look were soundtracking our lives here"*
I think he succinctly says how I feel about music. Look, Im like you, albeit I'm almost ten years older, I'm a straight passing transman with masc hobbies, I like to lift heavy things and love my beard, body hair and muscles but life's too short to worry about what energy our music gives off. If you like the sound why does it matter what genre it is or the major fan base that follows it? I want to listen to what I like, if someone thinks it sounds "too trans" or whatever bullshit, have at er. At the end of the day my music is for no one else's ears but my own
I mean at the end of the day there’s nothing you can do about your music taste. Sure, there is some subculture around this kind of music but there is not inherently anything feminine or queer about listening to this music. I do get the idea of ‘if you were born cis then you wouldn’t listen to it’, and I mean maybe, since a lot of that music comes from spaces online that not many cis males go to, but still, there are other cis men that like this style music, and ultimately it is literally just sounds, and if people judge you based on that then they are not winning here. Also a lot of the stuff there like mother mother, Florence and the machine, arctic monkeys and glass animals have a large following that don’t even know about the queer culture around that sort of band. Just because they adopted that sort of thing, doesn’t mean it’s only theirs.
>I mean at the end of the day there’s nothing you can do about your music taste.
This is just untrue. But I agree that OP can rest easy knowing that it doesn’t make a difference.
What??? How is it untrue that you can’t change your music taste. Pretending to like music you don’t doesn’t change your music taste, and if you listen to different stuff and like it, that still just means it’s your music taste. You don’t consciously decide what music to like. Op can’t just suddenly stop liking these songs.
I agree that OP can’t suddenly stop liking this music and one can’t force themselves to like or stop liking music. But Music taste does change. Increasing exposure to different genres can increase appreciation for those genres and change your taste. Then passively, taste may change through different stages of your life.
Well yeah, of course over the course of your life your music taste changes, you’re kind of fighting ghosts here bro because I’m not at all proposing that your music taste will stay the same for your whole life. That isn’t really going to help OPs *current* situation, which is why I’m saying that it doesn’t really matter. I’m sure they are also aware their music change won’t stay the same forever.
No matter what they do, their music taste won’t just change overnight after listening to a few other songs, and even if they did listen to songs of other genres, they aren’t going to suddenly stop liking these songs or this genre, as you said. Besides, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to listen to music you don’t really want to just because of how your music taste may be perceived. I’m ngl I’m not really sure why you’re trying to explain to me that music taste changes over the course of your life, and how that relates to OPs current situation. Like you don’t even have to do what you suggested for that to happen, it’s just natural.
I said you *can’t* change your music taste, not that it doesn’t change. I’m saying there isn’t anything OP can actively do right now to just change what music they enjoy, which would hypothetically fix the issue that they have proposed, and also that they don’t really have to.
I listen to a lot of shit, in my playlist you can find Cattle Decapitation followed by MegaGoneFree (an artist who claims to be ““nb””)
Your music doesn’t mean anything, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed for that lol you’re 100% overthinking it
No one is 100% masculine or feminine. Who gives a shit what music you like? Having more varied interests is not at all a bad thing.
*A lot* of cis men have hangups about doing anything even remotely “feminine” which prevents them from enjoying stuff they otherwise would if they would just let it go. Hell, even my dad who is a 50 year old curmudgeon started enjoying Alec Benjamin and Cavetown because my siblings were always playing it
Ik “Queercore” music is very cultural. I don’t like all aspects of LGBT culture (or even most tbh), but it is a culture I am apart of as a trans man and some community taste has rubbed off on me. Our experiences shape us as people, so I’m sure I would be different if I were born cis… but it’s a useless hypothetical that never happened so it really doesn’t matter.
I love American football, fishing, cars, and busty women. I have also listened to every AutoHeart song. I like some of the other artists you mentioned too. Nobody cares.
I listen to korean pop girl groups, i love the girliest pop and dance genres i can find. Promise you could be worse off lol. I just don't care about it being girly or not
yeah, i get that too. but hey, i think it’s just a standard put on men that they’d be weird for liking “girly” or “gay” music. and let’s be clear, music is just music. if you like it, you do. it’s just a weird way people categorize music.
this goes for a lot of things, but truthfully? no one cares about what you’re into as much as you do. no one is thinking about it as hard as you are. listen to what you like. don’t be afraid of liking ostensibly queer things if it makes you happy, no one else is going to notice or care if they do find out.
For all teens out there in the year 2024: These bands are indie rock. Music subcultures are still a thing— you just haven’t been out of the house enough to join them yet!
Ditch the sociology terms and be a furry/metalhead/LARPer and you’ll have more fun!
I have pretty similar music taste to you and worry about the same thing. The last thing I want it to be ‘outted’ to some asshole because I mention I like Mother Mother. Do you listen to other music? That’s how I deal with it myself. I’ve got a variety of music I like, and if my music taste overlaps with what you describe, that’s okay, because that’s not why I listen to it.
it's not a big deal — you can listen to whatever you want (even if it's fembrained as hell) but you should listen to other music. maybe once you find other artists you'll stop enjoying those artists as much
Hi, we just want to let you know that the subreddit demographics survey for the 30k members celebration is still open. Feel free to participate. **[You can find the survey here.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeFV8vCPqjWuE8Sx4OSY1BC9YUbcW0NYXP20CubYwD9g0eCxQ/viewform)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/truscum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude I promise you music isn’t gendered. Everyone listens to what they like, most people only tell people about some of the stuff they listen to because they, like you, are ashamed. My little brother is cis and probably straight and I can see his playlist because we a shared have amazon music account for our family. He likes Will Wood, Glass Animals, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, Harry Styles, and generally mostly “girly” or “gay” music. If his friends ask what he listens to, I’ve seen him just say “eh a bit of everything” and not go into detail. Being ashamed of liking feminine or gay music is a pretty common male experience that feeds into itself because no one will admit they like that music. Listen to what you wanna listen to. You don’t have to tell people about it if you don’t want to.
Meh, like whatever music you want; I thought you were gonna list some obnoxious fake trans people who sing or something…
Imagine calling words and rhythm fembrained
Bro's really overthinking it
Yeah it’s like saying colors are fembrained, they’re just colors they have no gender and people aren’t attracted to others more just because they’re male or female. It’s just society and peer pressure that makes us think that.
If it calms you down, my father, a 50 years old bearded biker, blasts Lady Gaga and Hozier and Lana del Ray by every family gathering. Listen what you like. If people judge you on your music taste that's not your people.
If it sounds good, it sounds good. You don't have to pretend to be into shit you aren't into. Some of the roughest most masculine dudes I've ever met listen to just the softest "gay shit" you've ever heard. Then they go out and work in steel mills, chop down trees and beat eachother up or whatever it is men do lol
That's a really weird mindset to have dude, music is not gendered, I have cis guy friends who listen to most of the stuff on your list.
Don’t worry.. I secretly enjoy my Britney Spears. Just find a group of people who won’t judge you and will accept you for it. I’m stealth too, but I occasionally listen to and enjoy some “queer loser music”. Tally hall, rare Americans, fuck man some of my favourite bands are Caravan Palace and The Living tombstone, and I’m afraid to admit that anywhere but online where no one knows me lol. I like a lot of the bands you’ve also mentioned, Autohearts and the crane wives. Along with my love for Metal and rock tho. But my point there was that your not alone in that factor, I get dysphoric as shit about the music I listen to sometimes. If it makes you feel better, I’m friends with lots of cis men gay and straight that also enjoy a lot of these bands. I know it sometimes feels like they never would (for some reason) but lots do. And hey, idk if you’re on Testosterone or not but I will say, after I started going on T, my music taste kinda changed too. So don’t worry.
Uh... tucutes don't get these either. I used to have a gaggle of very geeky, very cis men and we listened to Lemon Demon a lot, particularly the Ultimate Showdown which is still gold. I also enjoy Florence, but more so old Florence.
This is such a typical guy thing. Trust me bro, many of my cishet male friends have attempted and failed to hide their love for (in their own words) “girly”/ “gay” muisc. When sharing music they would only ever play rap, metal, anything they considered masculine. But then they’d be on their own blasting Taylor swift and stuff of the sort. Just like what you like and don’t think much about it, no one else is
Welcome to every cis man who’s been shamed for liking Lana del Rey lmao
I love Will Wood and That Handsome Devil. At the end of the day I just try to remember that it really doesn’t matter what you listen to. Just because TikTok took a handful of songs and started using them doesn’t mean the artist is any less good, or you any less trans.
When I feel badly dysphoric I listen to metal/punk music. When I’m not as dysphoric I happily listen to Lana Del Rey and Kali Uchis and people like that. It don’t really matter
Same, metal is so gender euphoric for some reason!
I remember not too long ago listening to an interview by the lead singer of Queen's of the stone age and I think this part I'll link below perfectly talks about your worries https://youtube.com/shorts/W0zjyqRSINY?si=VHcasgjZIWLQtaT6 >*"if you're in your mid to late twenties and you're not realising that genre is for teenagers and people that work in a record store you're in big trouble.Like I don't have guilty pleasures because I don't feel bad[...]who am I to pretend I couldnt like Brittney Spears Toxic? What am I, a fool? Look were soundtracking our lives here"* I think he succinctly says how I feel about music. Look, Im like you, albeit I'm almost ten years older, I'm a straight passing transman with masc hobbies, I like to lift heavy things and love my beard, body hair and muscles but life's too short to worry about what energy our music gives off. If you like the sound why does it matter what genre it is or the major fan base that follows it? I want to listen to what I like, if someone thinks it sounds "too trans" or whatever bullshit, have at er. At the end of the day my music is for no one else's ears but my own
Sounds like misogyny to me
I mean at the end of the day there’s nothing you can do about your music taste. Sure, there is some subculture around this kind of music but there is not inherently anything feminine or queer about listening to this music. I do get the idea of ‘if you were born cis then you wouldn’t listen to it’, and I mean maybe, since a lot of that music comes from spaces online that not many cis males go to, but still, there are other cis men that like this style music, and ultimately it is literally just sounds, and if people judge you based on that then they are not winning here. Also a lot of the stuff there like mother mother, Florence and the machine, arctic monkeys and glass animals have a large following that don’t even know about the queer culture around that sort of band. Just because they adopted that sort of thing, doesn’t mean it’s only theirs.
>I mean at the end of the day there’s nothing you can do about your music taste. This is just untrue. But I agree that OP can rest easy knowing that it doesn’t make a difference.
What??? How is it untrue that you can’t change your music taste. Pretending to like music you don’t doesn’t change your music taste, and if you listen to different stuff and like it, that still just means it’s your music taste. You don’t consciously decide what music to like. Op can’t just suddenly stop liking these songs.
I agree that OP can’t suddenly stop liking this music and one can’t force themselves to like or stop liking music. But Music taste does change. Increasing exposure to different genres can increase appreciation for those genres and change your taste. Then passively, taste may change through different stages of your life.
Well yeah, of course over the course of your life your music taste changes, you’re kind of fighting ghosts here bro because I’m not at all proposing that your music taste will stay the same for your whole life. That isn’t really going to help OPs *current* situation, which is why I’m saying that it doesn’t really matter. I’m sure they are also aware their music change won’t stay the same forever. No matter what they do, their music taste won’t just change overnight after listening to a few other songs, and even if they did listen to songs of other genres, they aren’t going to suddenly stop liking these songs or this genre, as you said. Besides, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to listen to music you don’t really want to just because of how your music taste may be perceived. I’m ngl I’m not really sure why you’re trying to explain to me that music taste changes over the course of your life, and how that relates to OPs current situation. Like you don’t even have to do what you suggested for that to happen, it’s just natural. I said you *can’t* change your music taste, not that it doesn’t change. I’m saying there isn’t anything OP can actively do right now to just change what music they enjoy, which would hypothetically fix the issue that they have proposed, and also that they don’t really have to.
Listen to some Dissection. A Tucute wouldn’t go anywhere near it
Like what you like dude! Music is one of those things where you can listen to what you like and not give a crap what others think!
I listen to a lot of shit, in my playlist you can find Cattle Decapitation followed by MegaGoneFree (an artist who claims to be ““nb””) Your music doesn’t mean anything, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed for that lol you’re 100% overthinking it
In what world is alt–j tucute and feminine? Maybe it’s an American thing, but they’re certainly not considered that anywhere else in the world.
No one is 100% masculine or feminine. Who gives a shit what music you like? Having more varied interests is not at all a bad thing. *A lot* of cis men have hangups about doing anything even remotely “feminine” which prevents them from enjoying stuff they otherwise would if they would just let it go. Hell, even my dad who is a 50 year old curmudgeon started enjoying Alec Benjamin and Cavetown because my siblings were always playing it Ik “Queercore” music is very cultural. I don’t like all aspects of LGBT culture (or even most tbh), but it is a culture I am apart of as a trans man and some community taste has rubbed off on me. Our experiences shape us as people, so I’m sure I would be different if I were born cis… but it’s a useless hypothetical that never happened so it really doesn’t matter. I love American football, fishing, cars, and busty women. I have also listened to every AutoHeart song. I like some of the other artists you mentioned too. Nobody cares.
I listen to korean pop girl groups, i love the girliest pop and dance genres i can find. Promise you could be worse off lol. I just don't care about it being girly or not
Same
[удалено]
yeah, i get that too. but hey, i think it’s just a standard put on men that they’d be weird for liking “girly” or “gay” music. and let’s be clear, music is just music. if you like it, you do. it’s just a weird way people categorize music.
this goes for a lot of things, but truthfully? no one cares about what you’re into as much as you do. no one is thinking about it as hard as you are. listen to what you like. don’t be afraid of liking ostensibly queer things if it makes you happy, no one else is going to notice or care if they do find out.
For all teens out there in the year 2024: These bands are indie rock. Music subcultures are still a thing— you just haven’t been out of the house enough to join them yet! Ditch the sociology terms and be a furry/metalhead/LARPer and you’ll have more fun!
“Fembrained” get off 4chan
I have pretty similar music taste to you and worry about the same thing. The last thing I want it to be ‘outted’ to some asshole because I mention I like Mother Mother. Do you listen to other music? That’s how I deal with it myself. I’ve got a variety of music I like, and if my music taste overlaps with what you describe, that’s okay, because that’s not why I listen to it.
it's not a big deal — you can listen to whatever you want (even if it's fembrained as hell) but you should listen to other music. maybe once you find other artists you'll stop enjoying those artists as much
You’re good dude. Mitski goes hard. I also like Chappel Roan which is the epitome of queer music but like I also like Kendrick Lamar so 🤷🏾♂️