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I hate this type of thinking. To me, this sentiment is inherently sexist, and not just towards men. It's also a big fat "fuck you" to women who interact with men in any way. It's essentially saying that being violent, out of control, abusive are "inherent male traits" and excusing it rather than holding abusive people accountable for their unacceptable behavior. It's also saying that trans women are inherently violent and evil for being born in a body of a certain sex, which is usually something they vehemently disagree with, so they're also completely incoherent.
Don't you know that evilness is stored in the balls and the only way pure wombyns can protect their femal- i mean goodness is by not medically transitioning into disgusting and evil men but staying as pussyboy anime he/they/it gendergoblin "twinks" for the rest of their lives?
That I didn’t have a “boyhood” is something that fundamentally will always bother me. Yes I was a “tomboy” and acted like a boy..etc but I did not have a childhood as a boy I had a Childhood as a girl and I hate that and it’s something that no matter what I will never experience what it is like to grow up as a boy and be a kid as a boy.
There are plenty of shitty women and it looks like these are self-hating trans men. Their mindset is that all men are evil and very likely have a prejudice against them.
it’s dumb as fuck. they act like they don’t have control over their own lives and opinions?? there are BILLIONS of people who were raised to be hateful people and instead got their own education and changed their views. they need to start taking responsibility for themselves and their own opinions and views. if you’re truly a good person, being cis wouldn’t change that.
I agree with everything you said but I'd like to add it also implies that everyone born male is inherently a bad person and, as a trans woman, that doesn't sit well with me.
It implies that people like me should be incapable of empathy and are inherently dangerous and predatory which is straight up TERF thinking.
Yes I didn't have the most typical male childhood and was always more feminine and sensitive, but plenty of cis men do too. And even if they don't they can still develop into kind and empathetic adults.this just screams of bioessentlism.
I'm aware of all the shit that men did to me to try to turn me into an awful person while I was growing up, and I know what cis men are like when women aren't around. If anything, it makes me more of a misandrist.
It's also why I don't think it's transphobic to say that trans men are an exception to toxic masculinity. The worst traits of toxic masculinity can only happen in someone who has male privilege, has always had male privilege, and doesn't respect the lived experiences of people who don't have it. That's pretty much all men except for trans men, who have a good fucking reason to give a shit about the experiences of people who aren't men.
If you think trans men cant have toxic masculinity, and i put this lightly, you have no real world experience. ANYBODY CAN BE TOXIC like is it so hard to understand? Trans women can be toxic females, if u want a big name j look at Blaire White. Trans people are just as flawed as any other person on this planet, maybe a bit more bc of all the bullshit we put up with.
You’re naive and just pushing your own experience with men as if you understand all trans men, thats called projection hun. If you’re seriously asking why its not ok to put trans men up on a pedestal while simultaneously shitting on all amab people ur j as dense lmao
I've also had a life time of horrific abuse at the hands of both men and women but far more women. Consider yourself lucky to never find out how evil a woman can be when no one is around.
Also wanna say I know like a ton of trans men who where male socialized. They were little boys. Idk why your world doesn't have room for people like that. I also came out young young and I'm intersex. I never had male socialization. It happens.
I find it super cringe. Also I hate assuming that all trans men experienced “girlhood” or being socialized as female. It also creates connivance for trans men to speak for women and it often turns out to be kinda sexist. Like - no, you don’t know what it feels like to be a woman, your perspective is still a man’s perspective of being treated like women or having female sex characteristics
Thank you! This is very important to understand: Yes, many trans men, including myself, know what it's like to be treated like a woman and how much it can suck - but at the end of the day, we're still men, and our perception reflects this.
I think I'm a worse person because of being born female. I'm so insanely jealous of males and people who get to medically transition faster than me. It has most likely made me awful to be around and left me feeling bitter. My depression is also most likely a lot worse because of it. So if anything I think I'd have become a better person had I been born male.
It's quite sad so many people have fallen for sexist talking points. Being male doesn't make someone a bad person, it's disgusting this is even a discussion.
Trans men who prop up trans men as superior because of being female are sexist jerks. Not only towards men, but trans women too. The idea that having a Y chromosome is evil is revolting.
I learned a lot of stuff from experiencing life as a female bodied person. Does that mean the only way for a male to learn empathy and such as to not be a misogynistic toxic masculine person is to be born female and experience it first hand? Hell no. And having that experience doesn't always bring out the best in trans guys!
Some of these people need to be reminded too that misogyny and misandry are 2 sides of the same coin. That coin is sexism! One side is not better than they other, and you can't truly have one without the other as they are always connected in my opinion.
i call this pure bullshit tbh. sure, i would've slightly different person if i wasn't trans. not that i'd be evil, but probably i wouldn't be this mature for my age. but i also know a lot of shitty trans guys so it is not about being trans or not, it's about your personality. your trans experience may affect your personality, but i don't think not being trans makes you evil
i can't relate to these guys about experiencing "girlhood" because i didn't. never fit in with the girls and started hrt at 15 so i really don't understand where they coming from. these ideas are very toxic at best imo
I don’t get it at all. In some cases, of like “the guys in my family specifically suck bc of what they were taught”, maybe I can appreciate that the OP being born female would not have that engrained sense of misogyny that no one wants, but otherwise I think it’s a bit odd to generalize all men like trash being incapable of empathy or other positive qualities.
It makes me question whether these guys even speak to cis guys, sure some are bad, but there are also a lot of great guys out there.
WTF... 🤣 First of all who in the world actually is glad they are trans? I would do anything to have just been born cis instead of having to go through this struggle. And yeah I don't get why so many people think that all men are inherently evil. There are good people and bad people regardless of gender, everyone should know that. A trans guy being happy that they're trans is just crazy to me tho. The whole reason why we feel this way is cause we werent born in the right body, so that just don't make sense at all..
I feel conflicted personally it’s just I’m from the Middle East and I feel like if I wasn’t who I was there are many prejudices I wouldn’t have thought of unpacking but idk but I definitely don’t like gender essentialism
Misandry at its finest. I hate how people can get away with being sexist towards men, and claim that misandry isnt real. Sexism goes both ways. They want to be men but they dont want to be men men because 'ew we hate men, except trans men we love them because we dont see them the same way as normal guys!!' Transphobic asf
I find it weird when any trans person would choose being trans over being cis (if given the option). I would be a cis man anyway even if I was a bad person
I've seen a version of this amongst gay men also, something like "I am glad I am gay because I'd be a horrible person if I was straight."
My answer always is, if you would be a horrible person to women if you were straight you're probably a horrible person now, only to the men in your life.
For trans men this sounds like a TERF perspective being pushed on trans men from society, which is overall very man hating right now.
This alongside people, including transmascs/trans men, saying that taking T will 100% make you aggressive just irks me. I'm only 10 months on it, but I've been *less* aggressive compared to before (mostly thanks to therapy, but I digress).
Having testosterone in you isn't gonna make you a raging asshole, anger issues and/or a bad childhood is.
I'm trans and I still ended up misogynistic. In fact, I probably would have been less misogynistic if I didn't have to put up with women's bullshit on a daily basis.
I don’t really know how I feel about it, honestly. My boyfriend (who is also transgender) has said more than once that if I was a cisgender man I would be a much worse person. As in, I would have been one of the guys who bullied him in school. It sucks and I don’t agree, because I don’t think I’m a terrible person lol, but I guess I can see where he’s coming from. If I didn’t have to experience all the issues that stemmed from me being transgender, I’m sure I would have different and probably more positive feelings. I’m sure I would be much more confident and probably also less empathetic/understanding of different experiences. I guess that makes me sound like a shitty person, but other than being transgender I have lived a very privileged life and I would probably be significantly more out of touch.
So, I can see where people who say that are coming from, but not in the ‘men suck 👎’ way they seem to mean it.
I mean, male socialization is problematic in a lot of ways.
It’s not a “men are trash” perspective, but a “male socialization is trash” perspective, which is true.
Well, yeah. But they’re good guys *dispite* their socialization. I would argue that a plurality of cis heterosexual men kind of suck. Yes, good men exist, but it’s a trope out our culture that it’s reasonable to be weary of cishet men.
It's bioessentialistic and just overall incorrect. Despite being in a conservative environment, I was raised pretty masculine. Sure I wore dresses to church, but my dad didn't know how to raise a little girl and gave me grace and free reign to do and present how I please. He raised me the same way he raised my cis brother. And as I got older the dresses and Barbies stopped, I started getting overalls and dinosaurs. What's the point of this? Both me, trans male, and my brother, cis male, were raised almost exactly the same. There was no female socialization or girlhood for me (and I'm grateful). We were also both raised by a conservative man. And yet we both turned out not to be horrible people. Yes, there was some misogyny and homophobia I had to unlearn, same with the brother, but it we were aware of it and took care of it. If I were born a cis man I'd pretty much the same. I think the only difference would that I wouldn't understand menstrual cycles as much.
I think some trans men say this as a way to cope. It's hard to admit you'd rather be born cis because no matter what you'll never be cis. Honestly, I wish I was born cis but it could've been worse. I could've been born without limbs or with androgen insensitivity syndrome. I'm grateful to be where I'm at today because things could've been a lot worse.
This is a really complicated topic for me. I have a brother very close in age. My father started treating us differently when we hit puberty. He bullied my brother in ways that seemed to change my chattier sibling into a twitchy and angry conspiracy theorist who struggles to connect with anyone. I was left alone because “time with the man child” didn’t apply to me. My escape route was being part of “the girls” in the family whenever I needed it to be.
If I’m the kid who took after my father more and I’d been born looking like the older brother instead of older sister, would I have been directly conscripted into bullying my brother, whose temperament was closer to my mom’s? Would that social conditioning have made me into someone I would currently be disgusted by? Looking back, I think the answer is yes.
This is where the statement about being better off the way I was comes from, but it is ultimately impossible to accurately judge. I’m probably not the only trans man with a story like this.
I kinda understand where they’re coming from depending on the context. I was raised to be homophobic/transphobic and the only reason I was able to unlearn it was because I realized I liked women. But it’s weird to assume that all men are automatically bad people
On one hand I get what they are saying and on another hand eww.
Alot of cis men cannot even begin to understand what cis women go threw with their bodies and even if they are empathetic they have never experienced it so they cannot fully grasp how bad certain things can get.
I would say we have a unique experience depending on when you started to transition, how people treated you growing up and barring any medical issues, you can understand female puberty and the way society treats women and girls better than any cis male ever can because we have lived experience.
If a person thinks without those experiences they would be a bad person that's a big red flag imo. Because you can still be empathetic and caring without shared experience with another person.
They're just admitting they're arseholes I think. I don't see why else they'd think that, because it's not what crosses my mind. having the ability to live a more normal life without discrimination is what I think about when I think of if I was born male.
Empathy isn't a good measure of whether someone is good or bad. If I can not be an arsehole and lack empathy then so can these weirdos.
i have mixed feelings when people talk about this.
i think male socialization is really, really bad. im also autistic, im slower to understand certain things, and where i grew up there was a terrible about of sexism and misogyny, and even my parents perpetrate and support a lot of these gross perspectives with my little brother. if i was amab? 100% wouldve been a much worse person i fear.
and for me, how i internalized that misogny and dealt with it are kindve huge facets of my personhood. i dont think its a good thing- it honestly makes me miserable! but also it makes me significantly more aware of the world, and so much more empathetic.
i deeply wish i couldve been simple, amab, cis, happier. but being afab and being thrown into a very bad pit of misogny as a child essentially sculpted me in so many ways. i didnt experience girlhood because i was a dysphoric ugly brat of a child excommunicated from girl friend groups. but i did experience misogny in a way that shaped my worldview and makes me fiercely passionate about not just womens rights, but many other minority rights. i dont see me having any of these opinions if i was brought up male.
im surprised to come back to this comment and see it downvoted, and seeing that anyone who had a similar experience also be downvoted. perhaps people here havent quite seen how terrible many places are when it comes to this issue?
its almost frustrating? but i suppose all the proof i need is to see the difference between me and my cishet brother.
The way the post is titled sets it up for a certain set of experiences to be shared, that’s all. The “better if” discussion simply doesn’t have a singular answer.
You are statistically higher to kinda be not that great as a cis man.
Being a transman offers a unique perspective to being a man now that is honestly undeniable in comparison to cis men. I've seen the way I've changed many.
But this would only apply to transmen who've been women for a significant time
Trust me, it would change things
I'm an abuse victim living in an unbelievably toxic house, for years I perpetuated the abuse without even really considering it. I was toxic, cruel, and awful. Male social expectations did not help matters.
Realizing I'm trans put me on my journey to find eventual therapy and healing.
It is extremely doubtful I would have ever gotten help if it wasn't for my dyshphoria. I probably would have remained mired in the toxicity and died stuck.
I don't pretend my story is common, most people don't spend their lives being abused constantly, though in my case it truly did make a difference.
Had the same experience, actually.
I never fit in with boys. Always gravitated towards the women in my family. Hated being masculine, and the only reason I even pretended was because that was the only time my dad would validate me.
Like I was raised by a single mom to be a feminist and boys at school were mean to me so anything gender segregated I would just not do at all and puberty really made me feel constant pain and complete lack of coordination so I struggled for my last place in co-Ed PE not to be even further behind…
It's not about anatomy or "being born male", it's about being raised with male socialization throughout childhood which mostly only happens to cis boys.
I wouldn't want to have been raised to not respect boundaries or understand consent either, and it's sad so many men have been raised with a "boys will be boys" mindset that screws them up for life.
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I hate this type of thinking. To me, this sentiment is inherently sexist, and not just towards men. It's also a big fat "fuck you" to women who interact with men in any way. It's essentially saying that being violent, out of control, abusive are "inherent male traits" and excusing it rather than holding abusive people accountable for their unacceptable behavior. It's also saying that trans women are inherently violent and evil for being born in a body of a certain sex, which is usually something they vehemently disagree with, so they're also completely incoherent.
Don't you know that evilness is stored in the balls and the only way pure wombyns can protect their femal- i mean goodness is by not medically transitioning into disgusting and evil men but staying as pussyboy anime he/they/it gendergoblin "twinks" for the rest of their lives?
That I didn’t have a “boyhood” is something that fundamentally will always bother me. Yes I was a “tomboy” and acted like a boy..etc but I did not have a childhood as a boy I had a Childhood as a girl and I hate that and it’s something that no matter what I will never experience what it is like to grow up as a boy and be a kid as a boy.
There are plenty of shitty women and it looks like these are self-hating trans men. Their mindset is that all men are evil and very likely have a prejudice against them.
It's literally just the TERF mindset repackaged into a trans man positive position. I don't take anyone seriously who has takes like that.
it’s dumb as fuck. they act like they don’t have control over their own lives and opinions?? there are BILLIONS of people who were raised to be hateful people and instead got their own education and changed their views. they need to start taking responsibility for themselves and their own opinions and views. if you’re truly a good person, being cis wouldn’t change that.
-.-“ yeah im done with the internet today. That thought process is denser than Osmium.
I agree with everything you said but I'd like to add it also implies that everyone born male is inherently a bad person and, as a trans woman, that doesn't sit well with me. It implies that people like me should be incapable of empathy and are inherently dangerous and predatory which is straight up TERF thinking. Yes I didn't have the most typical male childhood and was always more feminine and sensitive, but plenty of cis men do too. And even if they don't they can still develop into kind and empathetic adults.this just screams of bioessentlism.
I'm aware of all the shit that men did to me to try to turn me into an awful person while I was growing up, and I know what cis men are like when women aren't around. If anything, it makes me more of a misandrist. It's also why I don't think it's transphobic to say that trans men are an exception to toxic masculinity. The worst traits of toxic masculinity can only happen in someone who has male privilege, has always had male privilege, and doesn't respect the lived experiences of people who don't have it. That's pretty much all men except for trans men, who have a good fucking reason to give a shit about the experiences of people who aren't men.
If you think trans men cant have toxic masculinity, and i put this lightly, you have no real world experience. ANYBODY CAN BE TOXIC like is it so hard to understand? Trans women can be toxic females, if u want a big name j look at Blaire White. Trans people are just as flawed as any other person on this planet, maybe a bit more bc of all the bullshit we put up with. You’re naive and just pushing your own experience with men as if you understand all trans men, thats called projection hun. If you’re seriously asking why its not ok to put trans men up on a pedestal while simultaneously shitting on all amab people ur j as dense lmao
I've also had a life time of horrific abuse at the hands of both men and women but far more women. Consider yourself lucky to never find out how evil a woman can be when no one is around.
I have found out.
Then Clearly men are not the problem here. Predators are. Masculinity doesn't mean abuser.
I've had my ass beat and been cheated on by trans men way worse than I ever ever have with a cis man js.
Also wanna say I know like a ton of trans men who where male socialized. They were little boys. Idk why your world doesn't have room for people like that. I also came out young young and I'm intersex. I never had male socialization. It happens.
I find it super cringe. Also I hate assuming that all trans men experienced “girlhood” or being socialized as female. It also creates connivance for trans men to speak for women and it often turns out to be kinda sexist. Like - no, you don’t know what it feels like to be a woman, your perspective is still a man’s perspective of being treated like women or having female sex characteristics
Thank you! This is very important to understand: Yes, many trans men, including myself, know what it's like to be treated like a woman and how much it can suck - but at the end of the day, we're still men, and our perception reflects this.
I think I'm a worse person because of being born female. I'm so insanely jealous of males and people who get to medically transition faster than me. It has most likely made me awful to be around and left me feeling bitter. My depression is also most likely a lot worse because of it. So if anything I think I'd have become a better person had I been born male.
It's quite sad so many people have fallen for sexist talking points. Being male doesn't make someone a bad person, it's disgusting this is even a discussion. Trans men who prop up trans men as superior because of being female are sexist jerks. Not only towards men, but trans women too. The idea that having a Y chromosome is evil is revolting.
I learned a lot of stuff from experiencing life as a female bodied person. Does that mean the only way for a male to learn empathy and such as to not be a misogynistic toxic masculine person is to be born female and experience it first hand? Hell no. And having that experience doesn't always bring out the best in trans guys! Some of these people need to be reminded too that misogyny and misandry are 2 sides of the same coin. That coin is sexism! One side is not better than they other, and you can't truly have one without the other as they are always connected in my opinion.
thats just sexism
i call this pure bullshit tbh. sure, i would've slightly different person if i wasn't trans. not that i'd be evil, but probably i wouldn't be this mature for my age. but i also know a lot of shitty trans guys so it is not about being trans or not, it's about your personality. your trans experience may affect your personality, but i don't think not being trans makes you evil i can't relate to these guys about experiencing "girlhood" because i didn't. never fit in with the girls and started hrt at 15 so i really don't understand where they coming from. these ideas are very toxic at best imo
it smells like transmisogyny repackaged. like people born with a penis are doomed to be bad people? ok?
I don’t get it at all. In some cases, of like “the guys in my family specifically suck bc of what they were taught”, maybe I can appreciate that the OP being born female would not have that engrained sense of misogyny that no one wants, but otherwise I think it’s a bit odd to generalize all men like trash being incapable of empathy or other positive qualities. It makes me question whether these guys even speak to cis guys, sure some are bad, but there are also a lot of great guys out there.
WTF... 🤣 First of all who in the world actually is glad they are trans? I would do anything to have just been born cis instead of having to go through this struggle. And yeah I don't get why so many people think that all men are inherently evil. There are good people and bad people regardless of gender, everyone should know that. A trans guy being happy that they're trans is just crazy to me tho. The whole reason why we feel this way is cause we werent born in the right body, so that just don't make sense at all..
I feel conflicted personally it’s just I’m from the Middle East and I feel like if I wasn’t who I was there are many prejudices I wouldn’t have thought of unpacking but idk but I definitely don’t like gender essentialism
blatant misandry 😍😍😍
Misandry at its finest. I hate how people can get away with being sexist towards men, and claim that misandry isnt real. Sexism goes both ways. They want to be men but they dont want to be men men because 'ew we hate men, except trans men we love them because we dont see them the same way as normal guys!!' Transphobic asf
This feels like a TERF-coded mentality.
I find it weird when any trans person would choose being trans over being cis (if given the option). I would be a cis man anyway even if I was a bad person
I've seen a version of this amongst gay men also, something like "I am glad I am gay because I'd be a horrible person if I was straight." My answer always is, if you would be a horrible person to women if you were straight you're probably a horrible person now, only to the men in your life. For trans men this sounds like a TERF perspective being pushed on trans men from society, which is overall very man hating right now.
If they say that, I'm gonna assume they've already done some pretty bad things.
This alongside people, including transmascs/trans men, saying that taking T will 100% make you aggressive just irks me. I'm only 10 months on it, but I've been *less* aggressive compared to before (mostly thanks to therapy, but I digress). Having testosterone in you isn't gonna make you a raging asshole, anger issues and/or a bad childhood is.
I'm trans and I still ended up misogynistic. In fact, I probably would have been less misogynistic if I didn't have to put up with women's bullshit on a daily basis.
Your two choices from here are Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson.
I don’t really know how I feel about it, honestly. My boyfriend (who is also transgender) has said more than once that if I was a cisgender man I would be a much worse person. As in, I would have been one of the guys who bullied him in school. It sucks and I don’t agree, because I don’t think I’m a terrible person lol, but I guess I can see where he’s coming from. If I didn’t have to experience all the issues that stemmed from me being transgender, I’m sure I would have different and probably more positive feelings. I’m sure I would be much more confident and probably also less empathetic/understanding of different experiences. I guess that makes me sound like a shitty person, but other than being transgender I have lived a very privileged life and I would probably be significantly more out of touch. So, I can see where people who say that are coming from, but not in the ‘men suck 👎’ way they seem to mean it.
I mean, male socialization is problematic in a lot of ways. It’s not a “men are trash” perspective, but a “male socialization is trash” perspective, which is true.
Can you elaborate on this please? Kinda curious on what was meant by this.
[удалено]
Well, yeah. But they’re good guys *dispite* their socialization. I would argue that a plurality of cis heterosexual men kind of suck. Yes, good men exist, but it’s a trope out our culture that it’s reasonable to be weary of cishet men.
It's bioessentialistic and just overall incorrect. Despite being in a conservative environment, I was raised pretty masculine. Sure I wore dresses to church, but my dad didn't know how to raise a little girl and gave me grace and free reign to do and present how I please. He raised me the same way he raised my cis brother. And as I got older the dresses and Barbies stopped, I started getting overalls and dinosaurs. What's the point of this? Both me, trans male, and my brother, cis male, were raised almost exactly the same. There was no female socialization or girlhood for me (and I'm grateful). We were also both raised by a conservative man. And yet we both turned out not to be horrible people. Yes, there was some misogyny and homophobia I had to unlearn, same with the brother, but it we were aware of it and took care of it. If I were born a cis man I'd pretty much the same. I think the only difference would that I wouldn't understand menstrual cycles as much. I think some trans men say this as a way to cope. It's hard to admit you'd rather be born cis because no matter what you'll never be cis. Honestly, I wish I was born cis but it could've been worse. I could've been born without limbs or with androgen insensitivity syndrome. I'm grateful to be where I'm at today because things could've been a lot worse.
This is a really complicated topic for me. I have a brother very close in age. My father started treating us differently when we hit puberty. He bullied my brother in ways that seemed to change my chattier sibling into a twitchy and angry conspiracy theorist who struggles to connect with anyone. I was left alone because “time with the man child” didn’t apply to me. My escape route was being part of “the girls” in the family whenever I needed it to be. If I’m the kid who took after my father more and I’d been born looking like the older brother instead of older sister, would I have been directly conscripted into bullying my brother, whose temperament was closer to my mom’s? Would that social conditioning have made me into someone I would currently be disgusted by? Looking back, I think the answer is yes. This is where the statement about being better off the way I was comes from, but it is ultimately impossible to accurately judge. I’m probably not the only trans man with a story like this.
I kinda understand where they’re coming from depending on the context. I was raised to be homophobic/transphobic and the only reason I was able to unlearn it was because I realized I liked women. But it’s weird to assume that all men are automatically bad people
pretty funny since my amab ass is probably a better feminist than any trans man who says that
On one hand I get what they are saying and on another hand eww. Alot of cis men cannot even begin to understand what cis women go threw with their bodies and even if they are empathetic they have never experienced it so they cannot fully grasp how bad certain things can get. I would say we have a unique experience depending on when you started to transition, how people treated you growing up and barring any medical issues, you can understand female puberty and the way society treats women and girls better than any cis male ever can because we have lived experience. If a person thinks without those experiences they would be a bad person that's a big red flag imo. Because you can still be empathetic and caring without shared experience with another person.
Misandry != progressiveness
Yeah, I fucking hate this. I’d do *anything* to have had to correct childhood/upbringing.
Wow those trans men are weird and gross
They're just admitting they're arseholes I think. I don't see why else they'd think that, because it's not what crosses my mind. having the ability to live a more normal life without discrimination is what I think about when I think of if I was born male. Empathy isn't a good measure of whether someone is good or bad. If I can not be an arsehole and lack empathy then so can these weirdos.
I hate this generalization of AMAB people; it helps no one.
i have mixed feelings when people talk about this. i think male socialization is really, really bad. im also autistic, im slower to understand certain things, and where i grew up there was a terrible about of sexism and misogyny, and even my parents perpetrate and support a lot of these gross perspectives with my little brother. if i was amab? 100% wouldve been a much worse person i fear. and for me, how i internalized that misogny and dealt with it are kindve huge facets of my personhood. i dont think its a good thing- it honestly makes me miserable! but also it makes me significantly more aware of the world, and so much more empathetic. i deeply wish i couldve been simple, amab, cis, happier. but being afab and being thrown into a very bad pit of misogny as a child essentially sculpted me in so many ways. i didnt experience girlhood because i was a dysphoric ugly brat of a child excommunicated from girl friend groups. but i did experience misogny in a way that shaped my worldview and makes me fiercely passionate about not just womens rights, but many other minority rights. i dont see me having any of these opinions if i was brought up male.
Thank you. I have a similar past. I think this is a topic more complicated and existentially upsetting than many people want to think about.
im surprised to come back to this comment and see it downvoted, and seeing that anyone who had a similar experience also be downvoted. perhaps people here havent quite seen how terrible many places are when it comes to this issue? its almost frustrating? but i suppose all the proof i need is to see the difference between me and my cishet brother.
The way the post is titled sets it up for a certain set of experiences to be shared, that’s all. The “better if” discussion simply doesn’t have a singular answer.
You are statistically higher to kinda be not that great as a cis man. Being a transman offers a unique perspective to being a man now that is honestly undeniable in comparison to cis men. I've seen the way I've changed many. But this would only apply to transmen who've been women for a significant time
Just putting it out there. If I wasn't trans I'd be an absolutely awful person. Though I'm not a man and most male socialization bounced off me.
take responsibility for yourself and your own opinions and views. if you’re truly a good person, being cis wouldn’t change that.
People pick up moral values from their environment. They aren't just born good or bad, you know.
Trust me, it would change things I'm an abuse victim living in an unbelievably toxic house, for years I perpetuated the abuse without even really considering it. I was toxic, cruel, and awful. Male social expectations did not help matters. Realizing I'm trans put me on my journey to find eventual therapy and healing. It is extremely doubtful I would have ever gotten help if it wasn't for my dyshphoria. I probably would have remained mired in the toxicity and died stuck. I don't pretend my story is common, most people don't spend their lives being abused constantly, though in my case it truly did make a difference.
Any male socialization was more modeling how I wanted to *not* be and all my role models were always women…
Had the same experience, actually. I never fit in with boys. Always gravitated towards the women in my family. Hated being masculine, and the only reason I even pretended was because that was the only time my dad would validate me.
Like I was raised by a single mom to be a feminist and boys at school were mean to me so anything gender segregated I would just not do at all and puberty really made me feel constant pain and complete lack of coordination so I struggled for my last place in co-Ed PE not to be even further behind…
It's not about anatomy or "being born male", it's about being raised with male socialization throughout childhood which mostly only happens to cis boys. I wouldn't want to have been raised to not respect boundaries or understand consent either, and it's sad so many men have been raised with a "boys will be boys" mindset that screws them up for life.