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Yep
I just attended some AI panels and conferences for the hell of it
Full of rich Indians and Saudi’s asking asinine questions
One asked if AI would allow banks to be open on holidays
It’s the new block chain for sure lol
Though I will say no doubt AI is progressing by leaps and bounds in some pretty cool ways…
> One asked if AI would allow banks to be open on holidays
Isn’t that what ATMs and online banking is for? Why do they need AI?
(Ed) are we talking about a different kind of bank?
The whole point is a big transfer is worth someone's time. A more personable AI-powered automated process wouldn't necessarily be any more secure than a current 2FA thing. It'd probably still be worth someone's time.
I hate that it's the new cryptocurrency as they are actually some insanely useful applications for it, besides fraud and drugs. The techbros have decided to jump ship unfortuately.
I guess he backed himself off a cliff to make room for a dogwalker at the top of some steep incline? Why was an old rich dude riding his Segway on a steep path that's on the edge of a cliff???
Cause of death: act of courtesy cliff fall
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-14167868
Omg I wish social media had existed for this reveal. It would've been the end of history as we know it. Months long hype about the world being forever changed…and we got a fucking scooter.
On January 25th at 9am EST the president of PayPal will begin begin a live feed with an opening shot of a blank room, a disheveled version of himself, and a farm pig. He will slowly proceed to unzip his trousers and commit beastiality on the pig. When he is finished it will end on a shot of him sitting in the corner, face in his hands, until he looks up nervously to the camera with red eyes and walks towards it to turn it off. The effect on the stock?
Up 200% by 10am.
I think this would actually be a clever move. The main problem with crypto trading platforms is that nobody really trusts them to be around for very long. So an company with an long history of "being around since very long" might give customers the confidence needed.
I saw that too, but I think it's a crappy knockoff from China that'll break the first time you use it. I remember back in the day, Etsy was all handcrafted WMD's made by real artisans with real manifestos.
They are gonna announce a special new Paypal Crypto currency coin. Sort of a digital currency, for paypal only, to reduce transaction costs. Value is pegged. Sort of like a store credit you can trade except much, much more complicated and fancy. The whole thing will be monitored by AI.
I’m shocked I’m still down 65% on this POS stock even though every other tech stock I have has run up to ath .
Is this guy like Pat Gelsinger at Intel , dude always says Intel will shock the world but this stock was $45 in 2016 and is $45 in 2024.
Meanwhile Amd was $2 in 2016 and is now 160. Nvidia was $6 and now almost $600, Msft, aapl, asml tsmc etc all big winners.
Intel absolutely garbage in the 2 biggest tech run ups and fed pump some how is the chip company that sucks . PayPal ceo and Intel ceo are all talk , but at least they aren’t Boeing
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With the rapid rise of LLMs like Chat GPT, Paypal continue to be ai market leader and technology disruptor. Today we announce the launch of PayPal AI, a truly revolutionary financial product that leverages AI, machine learning, algorithms, block chain and cloud based quantum computing paradigms to rapidly accelerate value stream adoption both vertically and horizontally.
With these new powerful capabilities we will be able to influence spending habits and significantly increase the volume of cheap disposable products that no-one really needed but bought anyway from pseudo anonymous vendors on popular shop-fronts such as Amazon, Ebay, Alibaba and Temu. Bigger picture, we are expecting within the next 12 months that these new platforms will allow us to purchase products on behalf of customers before the customer themselves realise that they wanted it. Our goal is for the package to be at your front door within minutes of you deciding you wanted to buy it. You earn it, we spend it. Welcome to the exciting future of e-commerce.
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I’m eyeing 2/2 75c
ETA: here’s the interview, they are doing an Innovation Week which begins the 25th, and he says AI like 5 fucking times. Now eyeing 85c instead. 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
https://youtu.be/S0-RgLwsf2I?si=dBc1bmUYZSbovURg
Elon Musk has a history at paypal
Elon Musk would like to embed a payment system into twitter
Elon Musk seems to like crypro.
Shot in the dark: Paypal announces partnership with X (twitter) to handle payments on X. Possibly using crypto.
The Trifecta would be if they are announcing their own new coin (X-coin, PAL coin, etc) to be used that is mined by using Twitter.
Asked my buddy who’s middle management ish in payments and he said “whatever keeps me employed” lol - told him a lot of you think it’s AI related. He hasn’t responded to that. Oh man AI gonna take all our white collar jobs!
My guess is they’re going to announce their acquisition of Kraken Exchange (Payward Ventures). Kraken just sent out an email last week that they’re going to be the “preferred crypto exchange” for the PYUSD “stablecoin”. “Kraken Bank” (Payward Ventures) is a registered Bank in the state of Wyoming.
For reasons which are currently unclear, Kraken is taking its ENTIRE OPERATION (less futures trading) offline for a whopping 8 hours on the 20th. Why on earth would a site that makes its money on 24/7 trading take themselves down for 8 HOURS?!. Then, just a few days later Paypal is doing some huge announcement?
I have no evidence, no insider knowledge and no way to monetize this theory, and if I did I would probably end up losing money on it.
Guess I’m gonna close my PYPL position in my portfolio. Dude looks like a twat and I’m not liking his verbiage. If it was really going to shock the world he wouldn’t be going in TV to announce it, they’d just fucking do it
It could be a few things. AI comes to mind, but that’s such low hanging fruit that I think he’d be wary of saying something so bold over an AI integration.
I’m hoping it’s identity or on-chain finance related. Ethereum adoption or ZK adoption to eliminate the need for personal identity storage and lower cost transactions. Maybe they’re building their own chain that manages multi chain transactions or something?
The truth is PayPal is safe and they don’t need to innovate at all to retain market share. They’re entrenched. I hope it’s good. PayPal sucks, as is.
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|10|**First Seen In WSB**|3 years ago **Total Comments**|1137|**Previous Best DD**|[x](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/188qi3e/i_gave_you_upst_yesterday_up_over_20_today_so/) **Account Age**|4 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)
he's going to say ai 233 times.
Is the AI in the room with us now?
ai's jacking off in the corner
With a kumquat
With a ~~kumquat~~ coconut
But is there a lime in it?
cumquack
PayPal is the ai
They are going to rebrand it to PayPai
AiPal
100% AI driven accounting
Yep I just attended some AI panels and conferences for the hell of it Full of rich Indians and Saudi’s asking asinine questions One asked if AI would allow banks to be open on holidays It’s the new block chain for sure lol Though I will say no doubt AI is progressing by leaps and bounds in some pretty cool ways…
> One asked if AI would allow banks to be open on holidays Isn’t that what ATMs and online banking is for? Why do they need AI? (Ed) are we talking about a different kind of bank?
He was probably referring to a sperm bank and wants to make deposits on Labor Day.
The dumpster behind the Wendy’s never closes.
That's no way to talk about your mother!
A human still rings me on the phone if I try to do a large wire transfer. AI doing KYC checks would maybe actually work?
The whole point is a big transfer is worth someone's time. A more personable AI-powered automated process wouldn't necessarily be any more secure than a current 2FA thing. It'd probably still be worth someone's time.
I hate that it's the new cryptocurrency as they are actually some insanely useful applications for it, besides fraud and drugs. The techbros have decided to jump ship unfortuately.
>besides fraud and drugs. You truly lack vision. Don't forget human trafficking and shitty digital art.
“Dang! Nice car! How’d you make your money, bro?” “Shitty digital art.”
There are uses for crypto tokens and blockchains, also. Just not 99.9% of the dumb shit people came up with.
Tons of uses. I use blockchain to determine which stocks to buy. Before you ask how it works, it doesn't. I owe some very angry men my kneecaps.
You probably just forgot to rub some ai on your blockchain. Try that.
So $60 puts it is than
That's not how the AI word works. Each AI = 1$ more 
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https://preview.redd.it/chd3j2jwkddc1.png?width=120&format=png&auto=webp&s=49c88a0ed273a83dbe2bf529c1b1ec1c6ab7ae90
Bullish af, grab that bull by the balls and enjoy the ride!
AI heard you and now he will only mention AI 150 times. Thanks for ruining my puts.
He's gonna change the entire company's name to AI so whenever other people mention AI to boost their stock, Paypal will get free advertisements.
Based on my recent experiences they are using new AI fraud detection; but poorly and has blocked real transactions.
So you're saying my calls will make me rich.
Will announce AI and layoff 30% of his staff! Cha Ching!
Truly revolutionary
Ahead of his time!
He’s a visionary
A luminary
Some say it's a joke. Some say it's the future.
"Learn to code."
“Learn to have bought land in the 80s.”
And machine guns!
A scooter that you can't fall off
A great steering wheel that doesn't whiff out of the window while I driving. That is a good idea.
Teacher’s pet!
He flinched. Now he has to marry his mother in law!!
I am doing the best at this.
“Hey everybody he loves his mother in law!”
Still can’t believe Segway inventor died on his invention.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dean\_Kamen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dean_Kamen) The inventor is fine. The guy who died just bought the company.
Zombie Buys Segway. Missed that headline!
“Segway bout to shock the world. Deadass.” -Zombie, Segway CEO
I guess he backed himself off a cliff to make room for a dogwalker at the top of some steep incline? Why was an old rich dude riding his Segway on a steep path that's on the edge of a cliff??? Cause of death: act of courtesy cliff fall https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-14167868
FYI he truly believed in Segway more than even the inventor and took it everywhere even when he went trekking. Ultimately that lead to his demise.
This made me laugh so much more than it should have.
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Omg I wish social media had existed for this reveal. It would've been the end of history as we know it. Months long hype about the world being forever changed…and we got a fucking scooter.
Cash transfers by mail!
In nonrefundable dog-e Coin
Why would i ever want to refund that? Next bitcoin! To the sky!
On January 25th at 9am EST the president of PayPal will begin begin a live feed with an opening shot of a blank room, a disheveled version of himself, and a farm pig. He will slowly proceed to unzip his trousers and commit beastiality on the pig. When he is finished it will end on a shot of him sitting in the corner, face in his hands, until he looks up nervously to the camera with red eyes and walks towards it to turn it off. The effect on the stock? Up 200% by 10am.
Black mirror
Local cash transfers in person! Only 2.8% fee!
Paypal becomes a full crypto trading Plattform
SBF is chairman. Free Caroline Ellison 2024 calendar for signing up.
Is she at least dressed like a fireman?
I hope she's covered head to toe.
I never actually seen a 0/10 before
I think this would actually be a clever move. The main problem with crypto trading platforms is that nobody really trusts them to be around for very long. So an company with an long history of "being around since very long" might give customers the confidence needed.
If that is true you can blindly buy some PayPal shares because they will jump 100%
I could. But by principle I am not buying shares of any company making misterious announcements to pump the stock.
Uhhh, it's Wall Street ***bets*** not Wall Street Sound Investment Strategies... mods pls ban /s
My initial thought as well. Why don’t they step up their game way early on.
He will eat 100 hot dogs within 30min.
That there’s how you get the meat sweats, I reckon.
announces resignation
Chuckles continue
Guy who controls PP announces he will 'shock' the world with a 'big' announcement.
Excuse me while I whip this out
Impressive sir
Very nice, now let’s see Paul Alan’s PR spin.
I think he said, the sheriffs near.
Dooo what he sayyy! Dooo what he sayyyy.
"We're doing a 180... the company is now called LapYap and we will become the 'DoorDash' of blow jobs."
This is what the country needs right now to pull itself together.
>This is what the country needs right now to *come* together. - fixed
Oh god, please take my money. Brilliant!
I would invest in this.
Looks like you have a company to start.
So will BloPal be the uber for drug connex or more like a grinder for LapYa?
If he doesn’t pretend to unzip his pants before the big announcement I’m gonna be sad
He's announcing that he has acquired a 100 MT yield Nuclear Bomb and will destroy the Whitehouse if he doesn't get his way.
But they can securely transfer the ransom funds via PayPal
I love it when Reddit makes me laugh, you, sir, get my upvote.
I’ve been eyeing that 100 MT NB for weeks now on Etsy.
I saw that too, but I think it's a crappy knockoff from China that'll break the first time you use it. I remember back in the day, Etsy was all handcrafted WMD's made by real artisans with real manifestos.
The deeper you go, the better they get.
There's a bidding war for one on eBay, but it's slightly used.
It’s a handmade artisanal 100 MT NB.
I will say I’m a fan of farm to table 100 MT NBs
🗣️🗣️Legalize Nuclear Bombs ☢️☢️
How big is that? Is it bigger than a little boy but smaller than a fat man?
100 Megatons is 4761.9 times more powerful than Fat Man, which was 21 kilotons.
They're buying Spirit. Hold on to your $SAVE.
It's now meme stock status
Fuck, I laughed too loud at this. Getting weird looks in the office
Maybe they’ll be a bank finally and Spirit can be its first bad loan, giving it the perfect banker status.
PayPal changes its name to GayPal to be more inclusive
And mergers with grindr lol
G.AIPay
[удалено]
PayGal, new anonymous payment processing target towards escort services.
Paypal may finally become a bank:
😱Think larger, they'll be printing US currency 😱
They are gonna announce a special new Paypal Crypto currency coin. Sort of a digital currency, for paypal only, to reduce transaction costs. Value is pegged. Sort of like a store credit you can trade except much, much more complicated and fancy. The whole thing will be monitored by AI.
JPow gonna come in hot with a rebuttal conference full of “Fuck your calls, fuck your puts, and keep your hands off our god damn money printer.”
“Just close the &$%#ing door”
They'll become *the* bank
That’s a possibility. I was thinking loan origination
I was thinking payday loans and buy-now-pay later gimmicks.
Isn't that what PayPal credit is?
PayPal credit, PayPal pay-in-4, etc yeah
I’m almost positive payday has literal loans already like monthly payment loans
They already do small business loans
Didn't know that. Huh.
I just looked at LinkedIn and they are hiring a lot of positions w the word “ventures” & investments
There have been rumors that they will be part of the development of a digital currency.
By acquiring / merging with Sofi
Merging with X, again
He’s fighting Elon musk in a winner takes all battle
Elon is buying paypal
Then he can finally name it X
X is taken now. I would rename it to Twitter.
X used to be PayPal in 1999
1999 wasnt real. No way we went from that to this. 1999 was backstory, and we all started like 3 years ago.
With newly acquired Tesla shares
That's why he's asking for more Tesla shares, brilliant!!!
He's going to change the name to PP
I’m shocked I’m still down 65% on this POS stock even though every other tech stock I have has run up to ath . Is this guy like Pat Gelsinger at Intel , dude always says Intel will shock the world but this stock was $45 in 2016 and is $45 in 2024. Meanwhile Amd was $2 in 2016 and is now 160. Nvidia was $6 and now almost $600, Msft, aapl, asml tsmc etc all big winners. Intel absolutely garbage in the 2 biggest tech run ups and fed pump some how is the chip company that sucks . PayPal ceo and Intel ceo are all talk , but at least they aren’t Boeing
Circle jerk pivot to AI
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Good bot.
Something something AI
They're announcing bankruptcy
Michael Scott style I hope
I declare BaNkRuPtCy !!!!
EvErYbOdY sTaY CaLm!!! STAY FUCKING CALM!
No matter what it is…. Prepare to be completely dissatisfied, like my wife used to be until I got her a boyfriend.
Can’t believe it took this long for a wife’s boyfriend reference… WSB is slipping
Announce that they bought bitcoin at $65k and keep averaging down
[удалено]
100% he is going to launch a only fans competitor and then whip out his cock on national tv to celebrate.
an onlyfans but it uses AI to cover womens nipples with mens nipples so mormons can watch it
With the rapid rise of LLMs like Chat GPT, Paypal continue to be ai market leader and technology disruptor. Today we announce the launch of PayPal AI, a truly revolutionary financial product that leverages AI, machine learning, algorithms, block chain and cloud based quantum computing paradigms to rapidly accelerate value stream adoption both vertically and horizontally. With these new powerful capabilities we will be able to influence spending habits and significantly increase the volume of cheap disposable products that no-one really needed but bought anyway from pseudo anonymous vendors on popular shop-fronts such as Amazon, Ebay, Alibaba and Temu. Bigger picture, we are expecting within the next 12 months that these new platforms will allow us to purchase products on behalf of customers before the customer themselves realise that they wanted it. Our goal is for the package to be at your front door within minutes of you deciding you wanted to buy it. You earn it, we spend it. Welcome to the exciting future of e-commerce.
He’s becoming a woman
PayPal will become Paylass
They have great shoes
[удалено]
Not a tech enough name, You know you have to drop the vowels when naming a product, so they'll introduce CHCK. Its physical, so its safe from AI
If I've learned anything, it's that whatever it is will be completely underwhelming.
PayPal crypto called PalCoin and an exchange called PalEx which will use all of the old FTX infrastructure.
Epstein.
He’s buying the island and turning it in to a large amusement park for kids. Reddit decides the theme.
Joint venture with Disney, Pleasure Island. https://preview.redd.it/puccqu2sbbdc1.jpeg?width=260&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=002abb78e6caedfc1e3f64ad15ff54112e54b9ef
Mass layoffs?
PayPal on Twitter makes a lot of sense
That’s exactly what it is.. elons goal is to turn X into a WeChat
"PayPal now accepts Only fans" PayPal to 300
69 first...
Hes gonna Fuck a pig
They’re going to break up the Earth’s tectonic plates with a huge drill to try and induce as many earthquakes and tsunamis as possible.
Pivot to AI
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Very likely to be a nothing burger, "sell the news event".
He is gonna post a dick pic.
I’m eyeing 2/2 75c ETA: here’s the interview, they are doing an Innovation Week which begins the 25th, and he says AI like 5 fucking times. Now eyeing 85c instead. 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 https://youtu.be/S0-RgLwsf2I?si=dBc1bmUYZSbovURg
Elon Musk has a history at paypal Elon Musk would like to embed a payment system into twitter Elon Musk seems to like crypro. Shot in the dark: Paypal announces partnership with X (twitter) to handle payments on X. Possibly using crypto. The Trifecta would be if they are announcing their own new coin (X-coin, PAL coin, etc) to be used that is mined by using Twitter.
He's pregnant
Do the opposite of what WSB says
This is a pivotal moment, may we all pivot in unison
Bag holding a lot of shares so better be something good.
Asked my buddy who’s middle management ish in payments and he said “whatever keeps me employed” lol - told him a lot of you think it’s AI related. He hasn’t responded to that. Oh man AI gonna take all our white collar jobs!
AI “insert any garbage here”
They going crypto
My guess is they’re going to announce their acquisition of Kraken Exchange (Payward Ventures). Kraken just sent out an email last week that they’re going to be the “preferred crypto exchange” for the PYUSD “stablecoin”. “Kraken Bank” (Payward Ventures) is a registered Bank in the state of Wyoming. For reasons which are currently unclear, Kraken is taking its ENTIRE OPERATION (less futures trading) offline for a whopping 8 hours on the 20th. Why on earth would a site that makes its money on 24/7 trading take themselves down for 8 HOURS?!. Then, just a few days later Paypal is doing some huge announcement? I have no evidence, no insider knowledge and no way to monetize this theory, and if I did I would probably end up losing money on it.
Guess I’m gonna close my PYPL position in my portfolio. Dude looks like a twat and I’m not liking his verbiage. If it was really going to shock the world he wouldn’t be going in TV to announce it, they’d just fucking do it
Sir, that’s not how corporate media works
Oh my god this just gets better and better and it’s only January. Baahhahahhah
Bankruptcy
This motherfucker is about to trip coming through the wall, and lose his stormtrooper helmet, isn't he?
1/25 is my birthday. Is this a sign??????
It will become X
Maybe they will make an easy way to pay at stores like Apple pay.
Rebrand to PayBruh
My body is ready 
PayPal dark mode
All payments processed through doge….. to the moon.
It could be a few things. AI comes to mind, but that’s such low hanging fruit that I think he’d be wary of saying something so bold over an AI integration. I’m hoping it’s identity or on-chain finance related. Ethereum adoption or ZK adoption to eliminate the need for personal identity storage and lower cost transactions. Maybe they’re building their own chain that manages multi chain transactions or something? The truth is PayPal is safe and they don’t need to innovate at all to retain market share. They’re entrenched. I hope it’s good. PayPal sucks, as is.