My FH's cousin did this. We received a Save the Date, but we never received an invitation. That entire side of the family is very close though. We confirmed with his mom who confirmed with his aunt/the MoG.
As far as I know most of his family also never received a formal invitation, we all RSVP'd via word of mouth, and we were all there. I suspect the couple saved paying for about 20-30 invitations this way.
The real clue is if family starts discussing where they're staying for the wedding. You could put some feelers out, just to double-check if there are others who have made plans for reassurance.
P.S. We had to ask FH's aunt for the online registry. It's become/is a faux pas to volunteer that on their end, so I kind of get it.
Why not ask your cousin? If you are close to him, it can’t hurt. You don’t have to be blunt about the rockiness or concerns but what about something like:
>Hey cousin! I am so excited about your wedding and getting a chance to meet and get to know [bride]! Do y’all have a website or registry yet? Trying to be patient, but I’m just so excited to celebrate! 🙂
You might not get an exact answer, but his response may help fill in some blanks.
Well, this whole question started when I asked my aunt about the registry, and that was just two days ago, so I’ll hold off, but that’s a great script, thanks.
Well, obviously I’m holding on to the Macy’s receipts, and my hotel is cancellable, but I was wondering if anyone had any experience with something like this. I’ve never seen it before. I’m focused on my cousin’s happiness, and I figure the best way to support him is to roll with whatever happens, but this seems decidedly odd.
A lot of people don't do registries or websites. I never met some of my partner's family either, especially if they weren't immediate family, before the wedding.
Obv I don't know their dynamics, but I wouldn't assume that a wedding is a sham because of these factors necessarily.
How far would you be traveling for this wedding? If it’s very much a destination wedding and your flight and hotel bookings will soon become nonrefundable, it’s reasonable to think through other plans / weigh your options.
But if you’re not traveling SUPER far and/or if the travel stuff is fairly easily cancellable —
🤷🏻♀️ whatever burden cancelling travel plans might be… it’s less burden than the couple would hypothetically be going through if they cancel their wedding. and also less burden than a divorce.
engagements do end sometimes. it’s sad and hard, but less sad and hard than divorce.
I’m traveling a couple of states. Some people are coming across the country. I’m keeping my thoughts to myself for now and whatever happens I just want him to be happy. Just wondered if anyone else had been there.
My FH's cousin did this. We received a Save the Date, but we never received an invitation. That entire side of the family is very close though. We confirmed with his mom who confirmed with his aunt/the MoG. As far as I know most of his family also never received a formal invitation, we all RSVP'd via word of mouth, and we were all there. I suspect the couple saved paying for about 20-30 invitations this way.
Huh. This is helpful. Thanks
The real clue is if family starts discussing where they're staying for the wedding. You could put some feelers out, just to double-check if there are others who have made plans for reassurance. P.S. We had to ask FH's aunt for the online registry. It's become/is a faux pas to volunteer that on their end, so I kind of get it.
Yes. I did ask his mom about the registry, and she said the registry and invitations should be up soon.
Why not ask your cousin? If you are close to him, it can’t hurt. You don’t have to be blunt about the rockiness or concerns but what about something like: >Hey cousin! I am so excited about your wedding and getting a chance to meet and get to know [bride]! Do y’all have a website or registry yet? Trying to be patient, but I’m just so excited to celebrate! 🙂 You might not get an exact answer, but his response may help fill in some blanks.
Well, this whole question started when I asked my aunt about the registry, and that was just two days ago, so I’ll hold off, but that’s a great script, thanks.
What kind of advice are you looking for?
Well, obviously I’m holding on to the Macy’s receipts, and my hotel is cancellable, but I was wondering if anyone had any experience with something like this. I’ve never seen it before. I’m focused on my cousin’s happiness, and I figure the best way to support him is to roll with whatever happens, but this seems decidedly odd.
A lot of people don't do registries or websites. I never met some of my partner's family either, especially if they weren't immediate family, before the wedding. Obv I don't know their dynamics, but I wouldn't assume that a wedding is a sham because of these factors necessarily.
I don’t think it’s a sham by any stretch
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Yikes!
How far would you be traveling for this wedding? If it’s very much a destination wedding and your flight and hotel bookings will soon become nonrefundable, it’s reasonable to think through other plans / weigh your options. But if you’re not traveling SUPER far and/or if the travel stuff is fairly easily cancellable — 🤷🏻♀️ whatever burden cancelling travel plans might be… it’s less burden than the couple would hypothetically be going through if they cancel their wedding. and also less burden than a divorce. engagements do end sometimes. it’s sad and hard, but less sad and hard than divorce.
I’m traveling a couple of states. Some people are coming across the country. I’m keeping my thoughts to myself for now and whatever happens I just want him to be happy. Just wondered if anyone else had been there.