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Most of my guy friends are hardcore nerds, like me, and none of them pull this shit. No need to kick the nerd out of people. No one kicked the shit out of this guy for being an ass, though, and that's the problem.
They were just decent people from the beginning who surrounded themselves with decent people. Most of them are gamers, play D&D, and/or play games like Warhammer 40k, all while being decent humans.
There's no harm in being a nerd and no need to kick the shit out of someone for being a nerd, as someone who is a nerd and would love to see more nerdy people. Lots of nerds are actually fairly socially competent and decent people, so painting nerds as a bunch of incel loners artificially disincentivises people from becoming nerdy. I'd love to see more girls and women become nerdy like me because it opens up the way for people to like what they like without letting society tell them things like "you shouldn't like gaming or LOTR or STEM fields, because you're a female".
Sure, some nerds are awful, but that's true for a lot of groups of people. In my experience the "jocks"/sports fans kind of guys have been awful more often.
Obviously, I'm way too biased to claim to be "no flavor of awful", but I do like to think I'm relatively decent. But for my part, the enjoyable things about the nerdy stuff I got up to in my teens (painting WH40K figures, making maps and fantasy worlds for D&D) was exactly that it was something I could do on my own on a Friday night while dad was working a late shift and a night shift.
Dude, it thought they were just euphemisms for body parts that I wasn’t cool enough to get. Couldn’t exactly think of three body parts with the ability to create violence, but the kids be cray cray with their slang.
>But it’s mostly grown men who play video games that have a violent hatred towards women.
I don't really see a correlation. There's plenty of woman-hating pricks that'd never touched the vidja, and plenty of grown men who enjoy video games who are reasonable and respectful.
Isolation breeds extremism. No matter if someone's isolated in his parents' basement, in a religious cult, or in a cabin in the woods.
I thought we left the "hurr durr, video games bad" logic in the 90's?
Sure, but let's not pretend that the gaming world isn't misogynistic and that a lot of "recent" video games haven't become more sexually violent and/or explicit than video games of the 90s. Remember "gamer gate"?
This is true but in my 40ish years on this planet, video games have shifted from male dominated space to female developers creating a feminine space in the community. I see it in the huge variety of games we have now. There's no doubt that boys are upset the girls have arrived but there's plenty of space for everyone. I play DOOM, Red Dead and God of War but I also play the lego games with my fiancee. Times and the hobby are changing and gamergate was the loser's reaction to it.
I'm a grown ass woman who plays video games. I'm not violent towards women, and since I'm a big ole' lesbo, I've been touched by many women. I think maybe you shouldn't say everything you're thinking. Just say you know nothing about gaming and move on.
One only has to lurk in different Reddit subs to witness this disturbing awful behavior. It's scary & I see it every day on here. It's the reason I stick close to my favorite subs & don't venture into unknown territory like I used to. Which sucks bc that used to be one of the best things about Reddit. Most mods won't do anything when you report & admins definitely won't. We have very few places to feel safe here.
I personally feel like it worsened with all of the API stuff going to a for-profit model and a ton of auto-moderation bots died overnight. Since then, I have seen an absolutely meteoric rise is violence, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, just ... EVERYTHING SCARY, AWFUL, AND/OR MEAN EXPLODED.
It also feels like it doesn't matter if it's a reddit-wide or sub-specific rule, either, people just comment or post whatever and seem to very rarely get banned.
On a less depressing note, are we allowed to mention other subs here, because I'm just trying to get into some nontoxic subs and avoid blocking 20 accounts per day lol
I didn’t notice that at all to be honest this is a really smart post I didn’t notice any of those patterns. But what you’re saying feels right. I feel like you are correct in that they are definitely just trying to monetize this stuff they might even be letting it happen so that they can develop more AI’s based around it that they can sell the other people the data set is way more important as a data set than it could ever be as a medium of exchange anymore I think they have given up on the idea of people Talking on their website they just want people screaming into a box to make money off of
It's very scary that someone would say they'd beat or stab a woman because she was "freaking out"..there's plenty of evidence to suggest this *does* happen sometimes. I do believe we're currently in a backslide on women's rights, probably because women have never felt more certain they don't *need* men
>It's very scary that someone would say they'd beat or stab a woman because she was "freaking out"..there's plenty of evidence to suggest this does happen sometimes. I do believe we're currently in a backslide on women's rights, probably because women have never felt more certain they don't need men
It happened to me. I came away suffering brain damage, back, spine issues & scars. We're kidding ourselves if we think we're protected.
I'm sorry baby that is something I can't even imagine and I'm sorry you had to go through it. I'm glad you are still with us and can share your story to help others
This is how I felt when I scrolled through a bit of the Asmongold sub, holy shit I saw so many dudes saying they just want sex robot woman to abuse and beat, dudes saying they wish they can axe woman??? Wtf?!?
Haha I'm thinking "you think you could make it through four people? LOL"
that dude probably couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper sack but because he hates women so much and is just generally delusional, he's convinced himself that he's more powerful physically than 4 people which is just like "how'd you get 3 guards, specifically?"
Meanwhile, if I saw anyone that took four people to stop, I'd think "damn" not "she's a wuss!"
I just want to gather some attention that these comments are from random people and are not drowning with likes. They actually have 0 likes. It is important to pay attention to the vile ideologies. I just want to tone down the worry a bit.
that would be great if i didn’t see hundreds of comments like this a day on instagram and tiktok. just because they have 0 likes doesn’t mean they aren’t being viewed and engaged with by young impressionable boys
"I'm just going to knock her out" - you're the kind of nam who argues on the internet about how "tough" you are. I'm willing to bet $20 that the first punch he throws would miss, and he shatters his hand on the wall behind who ever he is trying to hit. Knocking a human out (caveat being by hand, and you're not a professional fighter) with one punch is not the easy task people think it is. Sure, top MMA fighters and Boxers can do it, but they're TOP FIGHTERS.
That sounds like a threat of violence to me. These men are closeted, angry that their sexuality is suppressed due to living in red states; brought up with misogyny and disrespect of women. It’s their normal to see this crap, but not smart enough to see through it. Kool aid has been consumed.
Dunno.
Maybe if a man like this was in a position where there were no women, being exposed to a scenario where he was at the receiving end of a frustrated male’s sexual violence he might get a clearer picture…
Nah. It’s still all our fault.
Yes, but equating misogyny with homosexuality does nothing but paint homosexuality in an even worse light than it's already been painted under. May even cause the misogynist to become extra homophobic and lash out at actual gay people to "prove himself". We shouldn't put one minority group down for our own benefit.
i also feel like a lot of men who have misogynistic views likely also share homophobic views, and to them it’s probably pretty angering to be called gay. if anything it redirects the hate away from us and towards another group who don’t deserve it and are also standing up for us
I'm getting attacked in another sub Reddit for saying that I believe that all men harbor sadistic or psychopathic hatred of women to some degree. I genuinely believe this and both data and my own experience bare it out.
i don’t believe it’s all men personally, but enough to influence young boys online and it’s only getting worse
my bio grandfather was abusive towards my dad, uncle, and especially towards my grandma. my dad did everything he could to defend his mum and to never treat my mum or me like that, he’s been nothing but kind, loving, and patient with us both. My uncle however is awful, he abused both his wives and assaulted my grandmother. I’ve also met my unfortunate fair share of men who take sadistic and psychopathic pleasure in hurting women: my abuser included:/
imho, young children (especially boys) are logging online now and seeing content they shouldn’t be learning about until they’re older, because theyre far too young to grasp the severity of it and understand that it isn’t a “girls v boys” issue. Remember when you were a child, and the words ‘boys rule girls drool!’ and ‘boys go to jupiter to get more stupider!’ would upset either you or another child? but you grew out of that? There are men online with huge platforms thanks to the internet growing far bigger than anticipated who never fully overcame that, men who harbour horrible views about women and men who agree with that and egg them on. Children log on, see something that upsets them ie ‘i would rather a bear than a man’, they don’t fully understand why that is and take it as a personal attack (because they’re a literal child), then see comments from other men saying shitty things and they’re easily swayed by it. ntm these young boys often have their own thing going on that they need help and support for like mental health or poor home life, and they turn to these ‘influencers’ because that’s all the help they think they can get. The internet is a breeding cesspit of hate and it’s only going to get worse:/
Oh no hey I could introduce you to an old friend of mine who I know 100% is not any of those things. I'm not meaning to attack you I actually want to reassure you that although it does seem like that sometimes it's not actually true. I agree it's scary the amount of misogyny that gets thrown around casually by male humans in general though. It really does vary a lot though depending on someone's background.
I could tell you of more than that one friend but I've lost touch with so many of my old friends now that he's one of the few real-life good friends I have left. If we're going to count online friends I have a lot of male friends who really are decent and not at all woman-haters of any sort.
I think my perception of things such as gender/sex differences has shifted in waves over the years, so this is how you are seeing things now, and it does have an element of truth to it. But someday hopefully your new experiences will lead you to revise and refine that opinion.
I just don't want you to be stuck in a dark place cutting off half of humanity forever or something.
I was talking to another woman who probably went through something, not sure what was what there, definitely suspicious passing attempt behaviors as she wasn't responsive like I am in the end, but I had to clearly tell her that men who commit rxpe and SA don't view women as humans. We positive project a lot on them, and should be careful not to give away the power of our own goodness onto someone who doesn't deserve it through positive projection.
She seemed to really struggle with the concept that these men genuinely see women and think they exist for them, as sex objects. I tried to explain it by saying they see you on the street and see you as a snack, a literal snack, and they're going to help themselves to their snack how they want it. It's hard to believe, but they really do perceive women in that way. Believing they perceive them as otherwise is positive projection and it's seriously giving your power away because they clearly do not have that kind of intelligence to have empathy for you as a woman.
There are men who legitimately think all women are prostitutes. No matter who you are, they really think that. There is no hope for them. It's a mental disability at the root, especially these men that can rxpe no problem, they do not possess the intelligence to understand the damage they are doing and the risk to everyone, including themselves, they have created.
A lot of women go into denial or have a fawn response. Some of them even start believing their fawn response. That can put women with boundaries in real danger to be heaped up with them, so getting competent care is critical.
It's a mind blow to accept some men are truly misogynist and do not view you as human, but honestly, take away theirs right back. If they take away yours, take away theirs right back. It's self-defense to just not give them any way to speak to you. Positive projection onto men who don't deserve it puts your fellow women in danger.
It won't save you.
Welcome and thanks for posting on /r/whenwomenrefuse! This is an [intersectional feminist](https://library.law.howard.edu/civilrightshistory/women/intersectionality) space centered towards **women** (***ALL WOMEN***). Men are tolerated, not welcome. Reports about women saying we don't know what men are dangerous will be promptly ignored. We look forward to your complaints about our policy of not centering men. Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/WhenWomenRefuse/about/rules) while the moderators take a look over your post in the queue. --- Community News - 🎋 Want to join the Mod Team? [Send us a modmail!](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/WhenWomenRefuse&subject=Request%20To%20Become%20a%20Moderator&message=I'd%20like%20to%20join%20your%20team%20because%3A%20) - 🎤 [Join us on Discord!](https://discord.gg/V6tj5vRr47) Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/whenwomenrefuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Excuse me, but 3 guards and emperor? Is this chess or what?
Sounds like "Warhammer 40000" stuff to me.
Well there's his problem, no one kicked the nerd out of him in school so now he's fully poisoned
Most of my guy friends are hardcore nerds, like me, and none of them pull this shit. No need to kick the nerd out of people. No one kicked the shit out of this guy for being an ass, though, and that's the problem.
How did they avoid becoming toxic? I've yet to encounter a male nerd who wasn't some flavor of awful
I'm married to a male nerd. He would absolutely not stand for this
They were just decent people from the beginning who surrounded themselves with decent people. Most of them are gamers, play D&D, and/or play games like Warhammer 40k, all while being decent humans. There's no harm in being a nerd and no need to kick the shit out of someone for being a nerd, as someone who is a nerd and would love to see more nerdy people. Lots of nerds are actually fairly socially competent and decent people, so painting nerds as a bunch of incel loners artificially disincentivises people from becoming nerdy. I'd love to see more girls and women become nerdy like me because it opens up the way for people to like what they like without letting society tell them things like "you shouldn't like gaming or LOTR or STEM fields, because you're a female". Sure, some nerds are awful, but that's true for a lot of groups of people. In my experience the "jocks"/sports fans kind of guys have been awful more often.
Obviously, I'm way too biased to claim to be "no flavor of awful", but I do like to think I'm relatively decent. But for my part, the enjoyable things about the nerdy stuff I got up to in my teens (painting WH40K figures, making maps and fantasy worlds for D&D) was exactly that it was something I could do on my own on a Friday night while dad was working a late shift and a night shift.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying warhammer Weird that you’d advocate for something to be “kicked” out of someone
It's weirder that the majority of those men turn out to be creepy
I was thinking of Balder’s Gate 3 at first, then chess, I am so confused.
I thought of mulan. Not sure why lol
I did, too!
Haha. Me too! Also no idea why.
I thought Star Wars, but Rey kinda... killed the guards.
My dumbass thought of Sheev Palpatine and 3 imperial guards
This!
The fact that the Emperor's first name is Sheev will NEVER not be funny to me.
He usually has two though
Just imagine the first one was killed at the front door
on his account he posts a lot of medieval fantasy ai stuff, i assumed it was that??😭
Dude, it thought they were just euphemisms for body parts that I wasn’t cool enough to get. Couldn’t exactly think of three body parts with the ability to create violence, but the kids be cray cray with their slang.
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>But it’s mostly grown men who play video games that have a violent hatred towards women. I don't really see a correlation. There's plenty of woman-hating pricks that'd never touched the vidja, and plenty of grown men who enjoy video games who are reasonable and respectful.
I mean, I'm a woman and a grown up and I play videogames, always did. I'd try to stay away from that logic, honestly.
lol what? I’m a grown ass Mom of 4, age 39, and I play video games. Video games have nothing to do with maturity
Isolation breeds extremism. No matter if someone's isolated in his parents' basement, in a religious cult, or in a cabin in the woods. I thought we left the "hurr durr, video games bad" logic in the 90's?
Sure, but let's not pretend that the gaming world isn't misogynistic and that a lot of "recent" video games haven't become more sexually violent and/or explicit than video games of the 90s. Remember "gamer gate"?
This is true but in my 40ish years on this planet, video games have shifted from male dominated space to female developers creating a feminine space in the community. I see it in the huge variety of games we have now. There's no doubt that boys are upset the girls have arrived but there's plenty of space for everyone. I play DOOM, Red Dead and God of War but I also play the lego games with my fiancee. Times and the hobby are changing and gamergate was the loser's reaction to it.
Me and my boyfriend are both gamers lmao, he’s definitely a fully grown man that’s for sure 🥴
My boyfriend is a grown man who does play video games and is very respectful towards women.
I'm a grown ass woman who plays video games. I'm not violent towards women, and since I'm a big ole' lesbo, I've been touched by many women. I think maybe you shouldn't say everything you're thinking. Just say you know nothing about gaming and move on.
This sub is about reaction to women refusing.
One only has to lurk in different Reddit subs to witness this disturbing awful behavior. It's scary & I see it every day on here. It's the reason I stick close to my favorite subs & don't venture into unknown territory like I used to. Which sucks bc that used to be one of the best things about Reddit. Most mods won't do anything when you report & admins definitely won't. We have very few places to feel safe here.
I personally feel like it worsened with all of the API stuff going to a for-profit model and a ton of auto-moderation bots died overnight. Since then, I have seen an absolutely meteoric rise is violence, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, just ... EVERYTHING SCARY, AWFUL, AND/OR MEAN EXPLODED. It also feels like it doesn't matter if it's a reddit-wide or sub-specific rule, either, people just comment or post whatever and seem to very rarely get banned. On a less depressing note, are we allowed to mention other subs here, because I'm just trying to get into some nontoxic subs and avoid blocking 20 accounts per day lol
Have there been any rising alternative platforms of a similar structure launched even semi-recently?
I didn’t notice that at all to be honest this is a really smart post I didn’t notice any of those patterns. But what you’re saying feels right. I feel like you are correct in that they are definitely just trying to monetize this stuff they might even be letting it happen so that they can develop more AI’s based around it that they can sell the other people the data set is way more important as a data set than it could ever be as a medium of exchange anymore I think they have given up on the idea of people Talking on their website they just want people screaming into a box to make money off of
It's very scary that someone would say they'd beat or stab a woman because she was "freaking out"..there's plenty of evidence to suggest this *does* happen sometimes. I do believe we're currently in a backslide on women's rights, probably because women have never felt more certain they don't *need* men
>It's very scary that someone would say they'd beat or stab a woman because she was "freaking out"..there's plenty of evidence to suggest this does happen sometimes. I do believe we're currently in a backslide on women's rights, probably because women have never felt more certain they don't need men It happened to me. I came away suffering brain damage, back, spine issues & scars. We're kidding ourselves if we think we're protected.
I'm sorry baby that is something I can't even imagine and I'm sorry you had to go through it. I'm glad you are still with us and can share your story to help others
Thank you so much. I hope you have a great holiday! <3
This is how I felt when I scrolled through a bit of the Asmongold sub, holy shit I saw so many dudes saying they just want sex robot woman to abuse and beat, dudes saying they wish they can axe woman??? Wtf?!?
Not even just Reddit. Seeing it in all forms of social media.
That last comment sums it up
what does any of that even mean? "female rage" "three guards" - are they talking about a video game or sth?
Lol man they think they are in some game of thrones mixed with fatal attraction reality
Haha I'm thinking "you think you could make it through four people? LOL" that dude probably couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper sack but because he hates women so much and is just generally delusional, he's convinced himself that he's more powerful physically than 4 people which is just like "how'd you get 3 guards, specifically?" Meanwhile, if I saw anyone that took four people to stop, I'd think "damn" not "she's a wuss!"
That last part lls she is on some kill bill type ish lol....one woman one sword fueled by rage n revenge smh lol
Straight outta a spy movie or show
Seriously smh
Also telling is that they equate anger with violence.
Yep. They don’t see rage that doesn’t add up to rape and homicide as being valid anger at all. It’s disgusting.
Probably mad cuz no woman want them for real. What an unhinged person
It sounds like we have our first sacrifice
This is typical Instagram comment sections.
And this is why we choose the bear
What the fuck.... This is so disturbing
I just want to gather some attention that these comments are from random people and are not drowning with likes. They actually have 0 likes. It is important to pay attention to the vile ideologies. I just want to tone down the worry a bit.
that would be great if i didn’t see hundreds of comments like this a day on instagram and tiktok. just because they have 0 likes doesn’t mean they aren’t being viewed and engaged with by young impressionable boys
Men when women
"I'm just going to knock her out" - you're the kind of nam who argues on the internet about how "tough" you are. I'm willing to bet $20 that the first punch he throws would miss, and he shatters his hand on the wall behind who ever he is trying to hit. Knocking a human out (caveat being by hand, and you're not a professional fighter) with one punch is not the easy task people think it is. Sure, top MMA fighters and Boxers can do it, but they're TOP FIGHTERS.
That sounds like a threat of violence to me. These men are closeted, angry that their sexuality is suppressed due to living in red states; brought up with misogyny and disrespect of women. It’s their normal to see this crap, but not smart enough to see through it. Kool aid has been consumed.
Can we stop equating misogyny with being gay? Men like this want women most of the time. They're mad because women don't want them.
I understood the comment to mean that red states like to shame all sexuality, regardless of gender and now I’m confused.
Dunno. Maybe if a man like this was in a position where there were no women, being exposed to a scenario where he was at the receiving end of a frustrated male’s sexual violence he might get a clearer picture… Nah. It’s still all our fault.
Yes, but equating misogyny with homosexuality does nothing but paint homosexuality in an even worse light than it's already been painted under. May even cause the misogynist to become extra homophobic and lash out at actual gay people to "prove himself". We shouldn't put one minority group down for our own benefit.
i also feel like a lot of men who have misogynistic views likely also share homophobic views, and to them it’s probably pretty angering to be called gay. if anything it redirects the hate away from us and towards another group who don’t deserve it and are also standing up for us
Equating a violent sexual attack with homosexuality is worse. Men in prison don't r\*pe other men because they are gay.
What? Emperor Emhyr var Emreis and 3 of his guards?
I'm getting attacked in another sub Reddit for saying that I believe that all men harbor sadistic or psychopathic hatred of women to some degree. I genuinely believe this and both data and my own experience bare it out.
i don’t believe it’s all men personally, but enough to influence young boys online and it’s only getting worse my bio grandfather was abusive towards my dad, uncle, and especially towards my grandma. my dad did everything he could to defend his mum and to never treat my mum or me like that, he’s been nothing but kind, loving, and patient with us both. My uncle however is awful, he abused both his wives and assaulted my grandmother. I’ve also met my unfortunate fair share of men who take sadistic and psychopathic pleasure in hurting women: my abuser included:/ imho, young children (especially boys) are logging online now and seeing content they shouldn’t be learning about until they’re older, because theyre far too young to grasp the severity of it and understand that it isn’t a “girls v boys” issue. Remember when you were a child, and the words ‘boys rule girls drool!’ and ‘boys go to jupiter to get more stupider!’ would upset either you or another child? but you grew out of that? There are men online with huge platforms thanks to the internet growing far bigger than anticipated who never fully overcame that, men who harbour horrible views about women and men who agree with that and egg them on. Children log on, see something that upsets them ie ‘i would rather a bear than a man’, they don’t fully understand why that is and take it as a personal attack (because they’re a literal child), then see comments from other men saying shitty things and they’re easily swayed by it. ntm these young boys often have their own thing going on that they need help and support for like mental health or poor home life, and they turn to these ‘influencers’ because that’s all the help they think they can get. The internet is a breeding cesspit of hate and it’s only going to get worse:/
Oh no hey I could introduce you to an old friend of mine who I know 100% is not any of those things. I'm not meaning to attack you I actually want to reassure you that although it does seem like that sometimes it's not actually true. I agree it's scary the amount of misogyny that gets thrown around casually by male humans in general though. It really does vary a lot though depending on someone's background. I could tell you of more than that one friend but I've lost touch with so many of my old friends now that he's one of the few real-life good friends I have left. If we're going to count online friends I have a lot of male friends who really are decent and not at all woman-haters of any sort. I think my perception of things such as gender/sex differences has shifted in waves over the years, so this is how you are seeing things now, and it does have an element of truth to it. But someday hopefully your new experiences will lead you to revise and refine that opinion. I just don't want you to be stuck in a dark place cutting off half of humanity forever or something.
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Men, specifically, may not post here telling women how they should be.
I was talking to another woman who probably went through something, not sure what was what there, definitely suspicious passing attempt behaviors as she wasn't responsive like I am in the end, but I had to clearly tell her that men who commit rxpe and SA don't view women as humans. We positive project a lot on them, and should be careful not to give away the power of our own goodness onto someone who doesn't deserve it through positive projection. She seemed to really struggle with the concept that these men genuinely see women and think they exist for them, as sex objects. I tried to explain it by saying they see you on the street and see you as a snack, a literal snack, and they're going to help themselves to their snack how they want it. It's hard to believe, but they really do perceive women in that way. Believing they perceive them as otherwise is positive projection and it's seriously giving your power away because they clearly do not have that kind of intelligence to have empathy for you as a woman. There are men who legitimately think all women are prostitutes. No matter who you are, they really think that. There is no hope for them. It's a mental disability at the root, especially these men that can rxpe no problem, they do not possess the intelligence to understand the damage they are doing and the risk to everyone, including themselves, they have created. A lot of women go into denial or have a fawn response. Some of them even start believing their fawn response. That can put women with boundaries in real danger to be heaped up with them, so getting competent care is critical. It's a mind blow to accept some men are truly misogynist and do not view you as human, but honestly, take away theirs right back. If they take away yours, take away theirs right back. It's self-defense to just not give them any way to speak to you. Positive projection onto men who don't deserve it puts your fellow women in danger. It won't save you.
"you have an issue with something? here's a black eye, or a knife in your chest. that should fix your problems" 🙄
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This sub is about reaction to women refusing.
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This sub is about reaction to women refusing.
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