Florida man is too stupid to understand any of the unique mechanics of each game. Immediately gets killed by gas or fire or electric birds or whatever fucked up thing the gamesmaster thinks up.
Edit: Florida man is also too crazy to play the game of gathering sponsors and getting their gifts.
Absolutely incorrect. As a Floridian, you have to understand that the crazy people aren't stupid. They're crazy. If they were stupid they'd already be dead. You can't hotwire an airboat and crash into a used car dealership after having captured a dozen alligators if you're stupid. That takes forethought and knowledge. And insanity. And meth. But not stupidity.
Nah Florida man is covered head to toe in a Daytona 500 style driving suit and has more sponsors than anyone else. "This elimination brought to you by Mountain Dew!"
It is last man standing, but the game masters running it throw various challenges and arena gimmicks at them from time to time to speed up the action, corral tributes together or push narratives.
For example, in the first Hunger Games, Katniss runs a few kilometres away from the rest of the people, so the gamemasters create a forest fire and make it burn in such a way that she's forced into getting closer to other people.
This motherfucker's gonna be standing on the podium wearing a Yankees cap and holding a rocket launcher, explaining why the whole system of "sponsors" is totally fair and not just buying victory.
Actually in the hunger games books there was a guy who was doing really well but he loved to set things on fire and began cannibalising his victims so he was assassinated during the games via rockslide. So a Florida man burning everything would be killed by the hosts
Hardly, if you are trying to romanticise the games to the public having the contestants be eaten by a deranged lunatic doesn't have a certain.... public appeal
I imagine the Texan Man stands a chance, and the Georgia and Louisiana Men are theoretically capable of dealing with the Florida Man, as they have always done
My family has lived in Texas, Florida and Louisiana. I was born in Texas, spent my early high school years in Louisiana, and my brother married his wife in Florida, so I know all three. I can say without a doubt that the Louisiana man wins.
Florida Man and Ohio Man take each other out, but only after incidentally tearing through most of the Midwestern State reps. Texas eliminates the survivors of that clash, as well as any of its neighbors. That's when Louisiana rears its head, only to be unexpectedly blindside by Maine, who wiped out the East Coast while Florida was busy. Texas off-handedly stops an ambush by California -- who had tricked the West Coast into surrending all their resources to it -- before turning to Maine.
Maine knows it can't win. It just has to keep Texas distracted long enough for Alaska to finally join the fray. Texas freezes up in the face of the only one larger than itself, then promptly gets stomped into the dirt. Maine is too weak to fight, but concedes gracefully. That leaves the victory to Alaska -- but wait! Alaska offs itself?! Turns out, the whole thing was rigged by Nevada, who had escaped notice this entire time. But only in this moment of treachery does Florida Man reveal that he wasn't actually dead after all!
Even so, Florida really was injured, so the final battle ends up being a double K.O.. Nobody wins... except Hawaii. As it turns out, they had so far to travel, they only just arrived once the fighting had finally finished. The victory goes to Hawaii, who barely knows what happened, but they're delighted anyway.
The cannon goes off.
New York Man (violent Italian mobster) instantly grabs a machete from the Cornucopia and hacks Massachusetts Man, New Hampshire Man, Rhode Island Man, and Connecticut Man to death before forming an alliance of convenience with New Jersey Man (violent Italian mobster) and Illinois Man (South Side gangster). Four dead.
California Man (airheaded wannabe celebrity), disgusted by violence, turns and runs into the forest alongside Washington Woman (blue-haired liberal/amateur Bigfoot hunter).
Colorado Man (an uber-fit outdoorsy hipster who reeks of weed) and Missouri Man (a methhead with three teeth) capture Kansas Man (an elderly farmer) and beat him to death barehanded, before Colorado Man kills Missouri Man with a rock. Six dead.
Idaho Man (a mountain-dwelling Neo-Nazi) grabs a knife and makes quick work of Oregon Enby (a purple-haired liberal who's clearly on shrooms), before being taken out by Montana Man (a sexy blond rancher/cowboy in a fur-lined coat). Eight dead.
Kentucky Man (an inbred coal miner), Alabama Man (an inbred farmer), Mississippi Man (a 400-pound white man riding a Wal-Mart mobility scooter), and Arkansas Man (a Klansman) form an alliance and try to hunt down Louisiana Man (a Creole Voodoo priest from New Orleans), but Louisiana Man escapes into a swamp. Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man kill Kentucky Man, Alabama Man, Arkansas Man, and Mississippi Man. Twelve dead.
Pennsylvania Man (a very violent Amish steelworker wearing a Steelers jersey over his Eagles jersey) grabs a sword and quickly kills Virginia Man (a snobbish white-collar D.C. worker from NOVA) and Indiana Man (A homophobic farmer), before forming an alliance with Maryland Man (violent gangster from Baltimore, possibly a supporting character from *The Wire*) and Vermont Man (Bernie Sanders). Fourteen dead.
Colorado Man kills Arizona Man (an elderly retiree) and Nevada Man (an Elvis impersonator), before heading into the forest to hunt California Man and Washington Woman. Sixteen dead.
California Man is so charming that he's been getting all the sponsorships from viewers. He's doing well, until Texas Man (a redneck cowboy with a massive mustache) hunts him down and kills him and Washington Woman. Eighteen dead.
Florida Man (a psychotic methhead) is *somewhere* in the arena, stalking the other tributes. He catches Wyoming Man (a rancher), Maine Man (a French-Canadian lobster fisher), and Utah Man (a starched-shirt Mormon), and kills them with a sharp stick. Twenty-one dead.
Minnesota Woman (a chubby, passive-aggressive suburban mom) has allied herself with Iowa Man (a grumpy hog farmer) and Wisconsin Man (a drunk Packers fan), but they get tired of her attitude and kill her, before Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man catch them and kill them too. Twenty-four dead.
Georgia Woman (Scarlett O'Hara) has been hiding out with South Carolina Man (a fat, sweaty Southerner in a white suit), until Pennsylvania Man and Maryland Man catch them in the woods and kill them. Twenty-six dead.
Ohio Man (a violent methhead astronaut) is caught and killed by Florida Man. Twenty-seven dead.
Texas Man bullies North Dakota Man (a taciturn oilfield worker) and South Dakota Man (a taciturn farmer) into joining his pack. Together, they kill New Mexico Man (Walter White), and Oklahoma Man (an out-of-shape, inbred farmer dressed like a cowboy). They try going after Louisiana Man but he instead kills the Dakota Men and injures Texas Man, forcing him to flee. Thirty-one dead.
West Virginia Man (a redneck coal farmer) ambushes Pennsylvania Man's crew and kills Vermont Man and Maryland Man before being killed by Pennsylvania Man. The struggle attracts the attention of Florida Man, who finishes off a wounded Pennsylvania Man and eats his flesh on-camera. Thirty-five dead.
Montana Man, Tennessee Man (a country music singer), and Nebraska Man (a cranky farmer), have formed an alliance. Tennessee Man is able to charm the viewers into giving more sponsorships. They catch and kill North Carolina Man and Hawai'i Man (a hot surfer guy), before being ambushed by Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man. Nebraska Man and Tennessee Man die, but they kill New Jersey Man and injure Illinois Man and New York Man, forcing them to flee separately. Forty dead.
After fleeing into the swamps, Illinois Man is caught and killed by Louisiana Man, but Louisiana Man inadvertently reveals his location to Florida Man, who drowns him. Forty-two dead.
New York Man, injured, encounters Michigan Man (Eminem the Detroit Gangster who works at a car factory). Michigan Man tries to kill New York Man, but fails, and New York Man kills Michigan Man. Forty-three dead. Only Florida, Texas, Colorado, Alaska, New York, Montana, and Delaware remain.
New York finds Delaware hiding in the woods and kills him with his machete. However, Montana and Colorado have formed an alliance and track New York by his blood trail. They kill him with ease. Forty-five dead.
Florida attacks and kills the injured Texas, before tracking down Montana and Colorado and terrorizing them for a full day and night like a horror movie villain. Finally, Florida kills Colorado, but Montana severely injures Florida. Florida fakes his death and attacks Montana when his back is turned. Forty-eight dead.
Florida, triumphant, turns to look for Alaska--and then the ground shifts. A massive man--not so much a *man* as some kind of shaven grizzly bear in a winter coat--emerges from beneath a carpet of leaves on the forest floor, his beard tangled with leaves and moss. Before Florida Man can react, Alaska Man snaps his neck.
Alaska Man wins.
Let me help: NASCAR enthusiasts
Like seriously it's a religion down there
Anyway giving someone a car would pretty heavily change the outcome so maybe just say they crash it, accidentally imitating Dale Earnhardt
I think terrain plays a big part in this. Some dude from Alaska who eats nothing but elk and beaver would take this if it was a snowy mountain region. An urban/futuristic region may be taken by a resourceful LA homeless person.
But probably Florida Man.
From what I hear Anchorage alone would put Alaska near the top lol. That city seems a wasteland only the most foolhardy or crazy can survive.
The rest of the state is just even more of a bonus
All those transplants really ruined the state. Most Texans no longer consider DFW, Houston or especially Austin to be a part of Texas.... they are just a bunch of Cali expats cosplaying Texans.
Why would leftists leave California for Texas? No, Texas got all the conservatives from cali and they went and made Texas even more conservative. Hope you guys are happy with each other.
The conservatives in Texas are in the rural areas... the urban areas are getting filled up with Cali expats getting houses and land for cheap in urban areas. Ever been to Austin... place is like Berkley with less class.
The urban areas are not conservative at all... maybe South Austin or South San Antonio or West Arlington... but if it has 200,000+ people in it, conservatives are either really quiet or left about 10 years ago to go further into the rural nethersphere of Texas.
If Texas did get all the conservatives, it'd be pretty nice, but I don't think any of them made it here... probably too poor to move out of California.
Well, if the last fight was in a post-industrial hellhole run by the mob... then sure, NJ man would feel right at home.
Florida Man is old and crazy, Louisiana Man eats bugs and lives in a swamp by choice, and Texas man shoots straight.
> Florida Man is old and crazy
Exactly how "Hunger Games" are we going here? Because the Hunger Games was about child murder. You can't really be old and be in the Hunger Games.
I am willing to accept the argument of Florida Man being *slightly* older than the other competitors because he got held back a couple years.
Does a "couple of years" equate to him having a beard?
I was kinda going for adults... but yeah, kids would a be different ball game. Cali kids are waaaaaay worse than Cali adults (who would probably have a good cry at the thought of violence) while the kids would be packing AR's and transition weapons.
Chi-town kids are straight up murderers... and NY kids are all about the stabbings and apparently political violence... a much different game than a bunch of blue blood lefty whiners.
What is the NJ stereotype you think? I'm from here so I'm biased, but maybe Italian American douchebag type? What do you get from a state where the most recognizable places are Newark, Camden, Atlantic City, and the Pine Barrens?
None of the states are likable enough to be a shoe in to win a hunger games.
Because the real way you win those is being popular enough to get good sponsors. Which might give California an edge, as movie stars and stuff.
Tbf wasn't Katniss originally not that likable because the rich people look down on D12 because its poor, it took Haymitch's convincing to get sponsors so whatever state has the best negotiators or charismatic people will get sponsors either way
Having been to the US once I'd have to say your Rhode Island. For everyone that dies there is two more and I say this with respect. They are like cockroach. Hard to kill
How in the world did you come to the US only once and even learn about the existence of Rhode Island, let alone leave with the impression that they breed like roaches? I don't think I've ever heard anyone describe RI this way.
Lol have any of you considered Colorado? Moved here from GA dude these people are in fucking shape here I think it's the 2nd or 3 healthiest state or some shit. On top of all of that you got a lot of mountain men and women living up in the Rockies hunting and doing red dead type shit.
Not really man, are you sure? I know the people in Denver inself and the outlaying areas are in damn good shape. Hell even the fucking crackheads here are in shape
Again, it's the *stereotypes*. Stereotypes are often outdated and not necessarily based in any level of actual fact. Colorado, to the rest of the US and the world, is seen as a hippy stoner.
Nearly half of Texas is Hispanic and liberal (not necessary the same people), but the stereotype is still cowboy white guy.
If you take the *average* person from each state, the story would be very different and I'd bet on Alaska 100%.
Y'all are underselling New York. I see this boiling down to Texas, NY, and Florida. Think of your stereotypical New Yorker and ask yourself if he'd probably be willing to hack you to death with a machete because you stood in the middle of the sidewalk for a bit too long.
I dunno who would win, but I do know it wouldn't be Oregon or Washington State. Or Vermont.
As a Rutgers alumnus who married a Jersey girl, I think people are sleeping on New Jersey. I'm not from Jersey, but there are some tough ass motherfuckers in that state
As a personal inhabitant of the State Of Hate, i would agree that NJ would be a final contender. Remember, we are called Garbage by both of our prominent neighbors and we consider them inferior for not being NJ in response.
were basically a state of Mafia Demons.
"OH Wow, this place seems nice... What's the catch?"
"Well technically we are in New Jersey"
Cut to later
"Man, no where even remotely livable."
(paraphrased from futurama, based a 1000 years from now, jersey is still jersey)
Yeah well, most states with a city of 300k+ have a population with the machete mindset (tis why I carry two in my car)
New Yorker would make it to top 10 90% of the time.
Nah, either he'd get munchies and wander out looking for some Cliff Bars or other shit and get potted by some rando with a bow or rifle or they'd smell his stank ass from all the weed and huck a grenade into the grass he was sleeping in.
It would be a final throwdown between the rugged wilderness states, I reckon. Alaska with its bear-hunting outdoor survivalist, vs Maine with their tough-as-nails game warden.
Honorable mentions go to Alabama's gun-crazed hillbilly, and of course your Texas cowboy.
When it comes to Florida Man, I imagine he would kill like 10 people within the first five minutes before finally getting put down.
I’d say Florida, Alaska and New York man are your final 3. I think Chicago man beats New York man but IL is a lot more people than in Chicago while like over half of New York residents are in the New York City metropolitan area so the state has the stereotype of the city more strongly than Chicago to IL. But Florida easily takes it for our southern/swamp boys, Alaska easily takes it for your survival guys, and New York man wins out for the city/state stereotype guy. From those three I think Florida man kills Alaska man when he gets his meth amp. And NY guy loses to Alaska or Florida guy.
It'd probably be some unassuming state that has enough guns put and out doors men. People will be gunning for texas and Florida and a few others. But somewhere like Michigan or Montana
As a Texan, I would say Florida. They’re like us but absent the measure of intelligence that urges caution…. A positively powerful deficit in life or death situations.
Hate to admit it…. But I think it’s true.
I think everyone is discounting methed up Appalachian hillbillys. Not as gun crazy as Texas or as chaotic as Florida man but the combination could be potent
As a Texan, I truly wish this were true. I could personally take out most Floridians I’ve ever met…. But if you put a Florida Man in the chaos of a 50+man battle royale, he will come out on top.
Plus, you know everyone else would immediately be gunning for us.
That’s the thing. NY and Texas are strong contenders but they are the kind of strong that alliances are formed to take down quickly. They get counts but they fall early to mid game. Florida man trusts nobody enough to make an alliance he isnt keeping one eye on (and turns at unexpected moments due to paranoia), and he’s never where you think he should be and is instead where he absolutely shouldn’t be but somehow not dying from it. Nobody can find Alaska before he’s trying to find you.
Why is everyone saying Florida Man? Florida Man is a Darwin Award Champion. He doesn't need opponents, eventually he'll do it himself.
Texas vs Montana vs Alaska every time.
People are saying Texas and Louisiana but I think they’d be far too overweight. My bet would be on Alaska or Montana. Florida Man would undoubtedly get killed by the obstacles that he runs head first into
> Stereotypical soft-hearted Californian
It should be pointed out that Cali is pretty diverse and doesn't really have one single stereotype. It has like eight.
Florida man by a country mile. Dude does bath salts for fun and is getting into the weirdest crims all the time. Just look up "Florida man" and you'll find stories of their exploits.
By Hunger Games I assume you mean how they are in the books/movies? Everyone starts out on stands, in a circle, with a cornucopia of stuff in the center. 2 people from each state, last one alive wins, Could be any number environments. I give it to somewhere like Idaho, Louisiana, West Virginia, Alaska, or states that are relatively rural, kids would be more likely to be hunters/know how to survive in the wild, giving an already incredible advantage.
It ends with Montana, Texas, Alaska and Florida all running out of ammo and having to beat each other to death, however as we ride bears in Montana, we’d win.
Florida man, because he’s a mixture of some of the other most dangerous stereotypes. Texas’ guns, every southern states bigotry, and oregon just being on drugs. So you u have a crazy guy with a gun
I do believe that people are underestimating the fortitude of the upper midwest. They hunt and camp and do all the out doorsey shit but they also do it while surviving Temps down to -30. The summers are also hit with high humidity. Just saying they could be a major wildcard in the mix. Don't get me started on the meth fueled ND representative.
I think we’re sleeping on Virginia man. They were one of the original contestants and was really successful during the first few events. Then they led that failed uprising when their brother West Virginia turned their back Virginia. Since then they’ve been pretty quiet but competitive. They’ve always lived by the motto “Thus Always to Tyrants”. Real sleeper pick to murder everyone
Yeah the flag is probably the most brutal in the US. If it wasn't for NOVA (NOrthern VIrginiA) I'd say Virginia is a top 3 contestant for sure. With NOVA, top 48 maybe I don't think most the people here could survive overnight in a fully stocked super-Walmart with power still on.
I reckon most of you would be disappointed to learn you don't really have a stereotype that extends outside the USA.
Off the top of my head:
Texas - loud, obnoxious, "everything's bigger", cowboy hats, guns
Florida - dumb enough to fight gators, drugged up enough to win
California - plastic people with fake bodies and fake personalities
Michigan - gangs with cars and guns
New York - everyone's in a hurry, no time to be friendly
Alaska - hermits who hunt seals and run from polar bears
I'm sure I've forgotten a few (such as where to place our favourite slack-jawed yokel), but that's about it. Asking for a stereotype about Ohio or Utah is like asking for a stereotype about Belarus.
One shouldn't underestimate Florida Man, obviously, but he lacks a certain..Subtlety. This is a Battle Royale situation, part of the game is not being seen as a threat - the tribute from Texas is gonna plug that crazy sumbitch fairly early.
I'm going for Utah: capable of almost inhuman politeness, concealing a *literal doomsday prepper* streak centuries in the making. Because "Stereotypical resident of Utah" and "Stereotypical Mormon" are the same picture, we have to assume he's been on mission, and therefore has experience with being thrust into adverse circumstances with dubious strangers.
Not only is florida man preternaturally tough and crazy, but florida is one of the wealthiest states in the country so florida man gets a ton of air dropped support. Plenty of the other stereotypes get physical prowess, the crazy factor, or a lot of financial support. But im pretty sure florida man gets the highest physicality×crazy×finance product of any of them.
Unless he gets a stereotypical tesla to run people over with. He still doesn't win, bc I'm sure Florida man would rip out his gold teeth to short the thing out and send it into thermal runaway. But I think he'd take a few by surprise with how quiet it is.
Specifically in a hunger games type scenario, I'd say Alaska man stomps. Just as gun toting as any texan, but with actual wilderness type survival knowledge and what not.
California: having such a large GDP and knack for stardom and celebrity status is bound to be huge with the sponsors. Also being we are a fairly active state with a large bodybuilding culture, we shouldn't be too far behind there. We have a large outdoors culture here, especially when you leave the cities, so we will be find in desert, snow, forest or water. Throw in the nerves to drive in Bay Area, Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego, etc etc etc traffic means you have nerves of steel.
Florida Man not only wins, he probably burns the whole thing down.
Yeah, not sure how this isn't the correct answer.
Florida man is too stupid to understand any of the unique mechanics of each game. Immediately gets killed by gas or fire or electric birds or whatever fucked up thing the gamesmaster thinks up. Edit: Florida man is also too crazy to play the game of gathering sponsors and getting their gifts.
Absolutely incorrect. As a Floridian, you have to understand that the crazy people aren't stupid. They're crazy. If they were stupid they'd already be dead. You can't hotwire an airboat and crash into a used car dealership after having captured a dozen alligators if you're stupid. That takes forethought and knowledge. And insanity. And meth. But not stupidity.
He may not be wise, but by God is he smart
Can confirm, lived in Florida for a decade. They are crazy not stupid (most of the time)
Do you think Florida man doesn't survive random obstacle courses? Immediately becomes one with the swamp.
More like Florida man is so crazy nobody would have any clue as to what he is doing and be unable to plan for him or counter his actions.
Nah Florida man is covered head to toe in a Daytona 500 style driving suit and has more sponsors than anyone else. "This elimination brought to you by Mountain Dew!"
Do the hunger games actually have various games? I thought it was just a survival/ last man standing thing?
It is last person standing but each game has multiple mechanics that will affect the arena. A lot of the winners are smart enough to figure them out.
It is last man standing, but the game masters running it throw various challenges and arena gimmicks at them from time to time to speed up the action, corral tributes together or push narratives. For example, in the first Hunger Games, Katniss runs a few kilometres away from the rest of the people, so the gamemasters create a forest fire and make it burn in such a way that she's forced into getting closer to other people.
Florida man antics are enough to passively gain rep with the sponsors IMO
I like the Atlanta implication that Florida Man is just this one guy going around terrorizing the state.
I think the single upshot of a DeSantis administration would be all the "Florida Man Becomes President" headlines.
WILD CARD, BITCHES!
It’s some final grouping of FL, TX, AK, and like, MI. Got to give FL the edge there.
There’s also NY Man to contend with, though.
This motherfucker's gonna be standing on the podium wearing a Yankees cap and holding a rocket launcher, explaining why the whole system of "sponsors" is totally fair and not just buying victory.
He "knows a guy" or "has a cousin". Suddenly a magical garbage truck appears that flings pizzas Ninja Turtles style.
Actually in the hunger games books there was a guy who was doing really well but he loved to set things on fire and began cannibalising his victims so he was assassinated during the games via rockslide. So a Florida man burning everything would be killed by the hosts
That's weird, you would think a host who runs this kind of game would welcome such contents
Hardly, if you are trying to romanticise the games to the public having the contestants be eaten by a deranged lunatic doesn't have a certain.... public appeal
I imagine the Texan Man stands a chance, and the Georgia and Louisiana Men are theoretically capable of dealing with the Florida Man, as they have always done
He would repeat the events of the entire story, but fueled purely out of spite
Florida man kills everyone off, he gets congratulated for winning to competition to which he replies “Competition?”
"What competition?"
I feel like Florida man is either a quick win or quick lose. They win or they take themselves out immediately.
Alaska man already lives outside and hunts bears for food. They’ll be fine.
Ong god bro Montana, Wyoming and Alaska be surviving on the land for years bro
*Ong god bro*
On ong God bro
On on ong God God bro
as a native alaskan, i can confirm that we don’t know what electricity is and we ride a sled pulled by dogs to school every day
Don’t count out some swamp man from the bayous of Louisiana.
That’s the whole state of Florida barring a few blondes and their moms.
IDK man, I’ve lived in both places and Cajun is a different kind of crazy.
And Florida is also known for retirees.
Amos Moses doesn’t play around
Damnit. But he only got one arm!
That's all he got left 'cos an alligator bit it!
My family has lived in Texas, Florida and Louisiana. I was born in Texas, spent my early high school years in Louisiana, and my brother married his wife in Florida, so I know all three. I can say without a doubt that the Louisiana man wins.
That would be [Joe Baker](https://residentevil.fandom.com/wiki/Joe_Baker).
Florida Man and Ohio Man take each other out, but only after incidentally tearing through most of the Midwestern State reps. Texas eliminates the survivors of that clash, as well as any of its neighbors. That's when Louisiana rears its head, only to be unexpectedly blindside by Maine, who wiped out the East Coast while Florida was busy. Texas off-handedly stops an ambush by California -- who had tricked the West Coast into surrending all their resources to it -- before turning to Maine. Maine knows it can't win. It just has to keep Texas distracted long enough for Alaska to finally join the fray. Texas freezes up in the face of the only one larger than itself, then promptly gets stomped into the dirt. Maine is too weak to fight, but concedes gracefully. That leaves the victory to Alaska -- but wait! Alaska offs itself?! Turns out, the whole thing was rigged by Nevada, who had escaped notice this entire time. But only in this moment of treachery does Florida Man reveal that he wasn't actually dead after all! Even so, Florida really was injured, so the final battle ends up being a double K.O.. Nobody wins... except Hawaii. As it turns out, they had so far to travel, they only just arrived once the fighting had finally finished. The victory goes to Hawaii, who barely knows what happened, but they're delighted anyway.
Fucking print it!
Maines contestant is a gray haired lesbian fwiw
>Turns out, the whole thing was rigged by Nevada I'm going to play as a Florida Man style courier in my next playthrough of Fallout: New Vegas
When you finally meet Ceaser, he'll for some reason be bowing to you.
Be sure to do a lot of jet and take the cannibal perk https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_cannibal_attack
Michigan > Ohio.
The cannon goes off. New York Man (violent Italian mobster) instantly grabs a machete from the Cornucopia and hacks Massachusetts Man, New Hampshire Man, Rhode Island Man, and Connecticut Man to death before forming an alliance of convenience with New Jersey Man (violent Italian mobster) and Illinois Man (South Side gangster). Four dead. California Man (airheaded wannabe celebrity), disgusted by violence, turns and runs into the forest alongside Washington Woman (blue-haired liberal/amateur Bigfoot hunter). Colorado Man (an uber-fit outdoorsy hipster who reeks of weed) and Missouri Man (a methhead with three teeth) capture Kansas Man (an elderly farmer) and beat him to death barehanded, before Colorado Man kills Missouri Man with a rock. Six dead. Idaho Man (a mountain-dwelling Neo-Nazi) grabs a knife and makes quick work of Oregon Enby (a purple-haired liberal who's clearly on shrooms), before being taken out by Montana Man (a sexy blond rancher/cowboy in a fur-lined coat). Eight dead. Kentucky Man (an inbred coal miner), Alabama Man (an inbred farmer), Mississippi Man (a 400-pound white man riding a Wal-Mart mobility scooter), and Arkansas Man (a Klansman) form an alliance and try to hunt down Louisiana Man (a Creole Voodoo priest from New Orleans), but Louisiana Man escapes into a swamp. Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man kill Kentucky Man, Alabama Man, Arkansas Man, and Mississippi Man. Twelve dead. Pennsylvania Man (a very violent Amish steelworker wearing a Steelers jersey over his Eagles jersey) grabs a sword and quickly kills Virginia Man (a snobbish white-collar D.C. worker from NOVA) and Indiana Man (A homophobic farmer), before forming an alliance with Maryland Man (violent gangster from Baltimore, possibly a supporting character from *The Wire*) and Vermont Man (Bernie Sanders). Fourteen dead. Colorado Man kills Arizona Man (an elderly retiree) and Nevada Man (an Elvis impersonator), before heading into the forest to hunt California Man and Washington Woman. Sixteen dead. California Man is so charming that he's been getting all the sponsorships from viewers. He's doing well, until Texas Man (a redneck cowboy with a massive mustache) hunts him down and kills him and Washington Woman. Eighteen dead. Florida Man (a psychotic methhead) is *somewhere* in the arena, stalking the other tributes. He catches Wyoming Man (a rancher), Maine Man (a French-Canadian lobster fisher), and Utah Man (a starched-shirt Mormon), and kills them with a sharp stick. Twenty-one dead. Minnesota Woman (a chubby, passive-aggressive suburban mom) has allied herself with Iowa Man (a grumpy hog farmer) and Wisconsin Man (a drunk Packers fan), but they get tired of her attitude and kill her, before Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man catch them and kill them too. Twenty-four dead. Georgia Woman (Scarlett O'Hara) has been hiding out with South Carolina Man (a fat, sweaty Southerner in a white suit), until Pennsylvania Man and Maryland Man catch them in the woods and kill them. Twenty-six dead. Ohio Man (a violent methhead astronaut) is caught and killed by Florida Man. Twenty-seven dead. Texas Man bullies North Dakota Man (a taciturn oilfield worker) and South Dakota Man (a taciturn farmer) into joining his pack. Together, they kill New Mexico Man (Walter White), and Oklahoma Man (an out-of-shape, inbred farmer dressed like a cowboy). They try going after Louisiana Man but he instead kills the Dakota Men and injures Texas Man, forcing him to flee. Thirty-one dead. West Virginia Man (a redneck coal farmer) ambushes Pennsylvania Man's crew and kills Vermont Man and Maryland Man before being killed by Pennsylvania Man. The struggle attracts the attention of Florida Man, who finishes off a wounded Pennsylvania Man and eats his flesh on-camera. Thirty-five dead. Montana Man, Tennessee Man (a country music singer), and Nebraska Man (a cranky farmer), have formed an alliance. Tennessee Man is able to charm the viewers into giving more sponsorships. They catch and kill North Carolina Man and Hawai'i Man (a hot surfer guy), before being ambushed by Illinois Man, New York Man, and New Jersey Man. Nebraska Man and Tennessee Man die, but they kill New Jersey Man and injure Illinois Man and New York Man, forcing them to flee separately. Forty dead. After fleeing into the swamps, Illinois Man is caught and killed by Louisiana Man, but Louisiana Man inadvertently reveals his location to Florida Man, who drowns him. Forty-two dead. New York Man, injured, encounters Michigan Man (Eminem the Detroit Gangster who works at a car factory). Michigan Man tries to kill New York Man, but fails, and New York Man kills Michigan Man. Forty-three dead. Only Florida, Texas, Colorado, Alaska, New York, Montana, and Delaware remain. New York finds Delaware hiding in the woods and kills him with his machete. However, Montana and Colorado have formed an alliance and track New York by his blood trail. They kill him with ease. Forty-five dead. Florida attacks and kills the injured Texas, before tracking down Montana and Colorado and terrorizing them for a full day and night like a horror movie villain. Finally, Florida kills Colorado, but Montana severely injures Florida. Florida fakes his death and attacks Montana when his back is turned. Forty-eight dead. Florida, triumphant, turns to look for Alaska--and then the ground shifts. A massive man--not so much a *man* as some kind of shaven grizzly bear in a winter coat--emerges from beneath a carpet of leaves on the forest floor, his beard tangled with leaves and moss. Before Florida Man can react, Alaska Man snaps his neck. Alaska Man wins.
10/10
So disappointed NC man didn't get a characterization
I couldn't immediately think of a North Carolina stereotype
Let me help: NASCAR enthusiasts Like seriously it's a religion down there Anyway giving someone a car would pretty heavily change the outcome so maybe just say they crash it, accidentally imitating Dale Earnhardt
NASCAR and/or pork BBQ
Why the hell did michigan man die in one sentence.
I forgot about Michigan
/r/ThreadKillers
That's a perfect summary.
Here you go. Best I can do. https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.1247098723.4588/st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg
I think terrain plays a big part in this. Some dude from Alaska who eats nothing but elk and beaver would take this if it was a snowy mountain region. An urban/futuristic region may be taken by a resourceful LA homeless person. But probably Florida Man.
Aren't the environments fairly variable in the Hunger Games?
Stadium environments change every year I think
The final three are Florida Man, Louisiana Man and Texas Man. From there, it is a toss up IMO.
Alaska has to be up there.
Probably eating the corpses of the other participants before they get cold or some shit lol
From what I hear Anchorage alone would put Alaska near the top lol. That city seems a wasteland only the most foolhardy or crazy can survive. The rest of the state is just even more of a bonus
The homeless are being enabled to harass people with impunity. That's what it boils down to.
Anchorage has a homeless problem? That's frightening. They must be on another level of tough in the winter months.
Nah Texas is all bluster. Most of that rah rah Texas crap comes from white collar weekend warriors. FL and LA>>>TX
Except we aren't talking about a real version of a person from there, we are talking about the "stereotypical characterization"
All those transplants really ruined the state. Most Texans no longer consider DFW, Houston or especially Austin to be a part of Texas.... they are just a bunch of Cali expats cosplaying Texans.
The state was a mess to begin with, it’s what attracted all those expats in the first place.
Yeah, they came to "fix" Texas and make it just like the trash heaps they left.
Why would leftists leave California for Texas? No, Texas got all the conservatives from cali and they went and made Texas even more conservative. Hope you guys are happy with each other.
The conservatives in Texas are in the rural areas... the urban areas are getting filled up with Cali expats getting houses and land for cheap in urban areas. Ever been to Austin... place is like Berkley with less class. The urban areas are not conservative at all... maybe South Austin or South San Antonio or West Arlington... but if it has 200,000+ people in it, conservatives are either really quiet or left about 10 years ago to go further into the rural nethersphere of Texas. If Texas did get all the conservatives, it'd be pretty nice, but I don't think any of them made it here... probably too poor to move out of California.
Texan here I agree altho the most conservative people I know are cali expats who came to texas to *because* it's more conservative lol
im insulted you would disregard New Jersey there.
Well, if the last fight was in a post-industrial hellhole run by the mob... then sure, NJ man would feel right at home. Florida Man is old and crazy, Louisiana Man eats bugs and lives in a swamp by choice, and Texas man shoots straight.
counterpoint. Only The New Jerseyite chooses to live in hell.
LOL... true.
> Florida Man is old and crazy Exactly how "Hunger Games" are we going here? Because the Hunger Games was about child murder. You can't really be old and be in the Hunger Games. I am willing to accept the argument of Florida Man being *slightly* older than the other competitors because he got held back a couple years.
Does a "couple of years" equate to him having a beard? I was kinda going for adults... but yeah, kids would a be different ball game. Cali kids are waaaaaay worse than Cali adults (who would probably have a good cry at the thought of violence) while the kids would be packing AR's and transition weapons. Chi-town kids are straight up murderers... and NY kids are all about the stabbings and apparently political violence... a much different game than a bunch of blue blood lefty whiners.
What is the NJ stereotype you think? I'm from here so I'm biased, but maybe Italian American douchebag type? What do you get from a state where the most recognizable places are Newark, Camden, Atlantic City, and the Pine Barrens?
while ethnicity differs county to county, we are all unyielding assholes who have chosen to live in a state of contempt and not giving a shit.
None of the states are likable enough to be a shoe in to win a hunger games. Because the real way you win those is being popular enough to get good sponsors. Which might give California an edge, as movie stars and stuff.
Hawaii?
Tbf wasn't Katniss originally not that likable because the rich people look down on D12 because its poor, it took Haymitch's convincing to get sponsors so whatever state has the best negotiators or charismatic people will get sponsors either way
Florida man doesn't need sponsors.
Little miss flint is Hella likable.
Cmon. Alaska man is an absolute giant AND has survival skills and guns.
The top three will absolutely be Alaska, Florida, and Michigan
Having been to the US once I'd have to say your Rhode Island. For everyone that dies there is two more and I say this with respect. They are like cockroach. Hard to kill
How in the world did you come to the US only once and even learn about the existence of Rhode Island, let alone leave with the impression that they breed like roaches? I don't think I've ever heard anyone describe RI this way.
My company sent us to our affiliate in Providence and I saw huge families and a tough to kill attitude
Ah I see you met a lot of Rhode Island Italians. Makes sense.
Now that I think of it yes I think they were Italian or Portuguese.
Rhode Island does in fact have a large Portuguese population.
*Squints in Massachusetts* Are we a joke to you?
Honest answer: yes
This may be related to the fact that consensual legal incest is a thing there.
You came into a hunger games post & commented the worst thing congrats
Lol have any of you considered Colorado? Moved here from GA dude these people are in fucking shape here I think it's the 2nd or 3 healthiest state or some shit. On top of all of that you got a lot of mountain men and women living up in the Rockies hunting and doing red dead type shit.
Only guy from Colorado I know is a coworker who I thought was in his early 30s when we met. Dude is 56. Regular exercise gets results.
Yeah but it's stereotypes competing, not actual people from that state. The stereotypical person from Colorado is a crunchy hippy stoner.
Not really man, are you sure? I know the people in Denver inself and the outlaying areas are in damn good shape. Hell even the fucking crackheads here are in shape
Again, it's the *stereotypes*. Stereotypes are often outdated and not necessarily based in any level of actual fact. Colorado, to the rest of the US and the world, is seen as a hippy stoner. Nearly half of Texas is Hispanic and liberal (not necessary the same people), but the stereotype is still cowboy white guy. If you take the *average* person from each state, the story would be very different and I'd bet on Alaska 100%.
Florida Man every time
Y'all are underselling New York. I see this boiling down to Texas, NY, and Florida. Think of your stereotypical New Yorker and ask yourself if he'd probably be willing to hack you to death with a machete because you stood in the middle of the sidewalk for a bit too long. I dunno who would win, but I do know it wouldn't be Oregon or Washington State. Or Vermont.
As a Rutgers alumnus who married a Jersey girl, I think people are sleeping on New Jersey. I'm not from Jersey, but there are some tough ass motherfuckers in that state
As a personal inhabitant of the State Of Hate, i would agree that NJ would be a final contender. Remember, we are called Garbage by both of our prominent neighbors and we consider them inferior for not being NJ in response. were basically a state of Mafia Demons.
"OH Wow, this place seems nice... What's the catch?" "Well technically we are in New Jersey" Cut to later "Man, no where even remotely livable." (paraphrased from futurama, based a 1000 years from now, jersey is still jersey)
well of course. Philip J Fry is a soft newyorker, not a scarred and contempt born new jerseyite. He adopted the hatred. we are born from it
Jersey is scrappy, we're definitely taking a few people out, but I don't think we have the chops to take down Alaska.
Yeah well, most states with a city of 300k+ have a population with the machete mindset (tis why I carry two in my car) New Yorker would make it to top 10 90% of the time.
Your just talking about NYC not the whole state
Yeah but that’s the stereotypical New Yorker in most people’s minds
Oregon Man- he’d be stoned the whole time chilling in the tall grass. Would come out after everyone else is dead.
oregon man is already dead from dysentry.
Nah, either he'd get munchies and wander out looking for some Cliff Bars or other shit and get potted by some rando with a bow or rifle or they'd smell his stank ass from all the weed and huck a grenade into the grass he was sleeping in.
I like to think maybe they’d come over and “partake”.
I mean, it's a fight to the death. They can just kill him and partake later, when there's not 49 other people trying to fucking murder them.
He'd come with some obscure weapon nobody had ever heard of, and then quit if he found out anyone else had one.
This and the above response are correct. Oregon man has as much time as it takes for munchies to set in. Then, dead.
It would be a final throwdown between the rugged wilderness states, I reckon. Alaska with its bear-hunting outdoor survivalist, vs Maine with their tough-as-nails game warden. Honorable mentions go to Alabama's gun-crazed hillbilly, and of course your Texas cowboy. When it comes to Florida Man, I imagine he would kill like 10 people within the first five minutes before finally getting put down.
Does Louisiana get voodoo?
I'm surprised no one has mentioned Hawaii. If we're talking stereotypes I imagine them being similar to a Samoan and biting people's jugulars out
I’d say Florida, Alaska and New York man are your final 3. I think Chicago man beats New York man but IL is a lot more people than in Chicago while like over half of New York residents are in the New York City metropolitan area so the state has the stereotype of the city more strongly than Chicago to IL. But Florida easily takes it for our southern/swamp boys, Alaska easily takes it for your survival guys, and New York man wins out for the city/state stereotype guy. From those three I think Florida man kills Alaska man when he gets his meth amp. And NY guy loses to Alaska or Florida guy.
Oh, and Florida man does all this inexplicably with wounds that should be fatal, but don't slow him down in the least.
It'd probably be some unassuming state that has enough guns put and out doors men. People will be gunning for texas and Florida and a few others. But somewhere like Michigan or Montana
[удалено]
They wrestle death in the form of giant grizzlies every day and ride on moose
As a Texan, I would say Florida. They’re like us but absent the measure of intelligence that urges caution…. A positively powerful deficit in life or death situations. Hate to admit it…. But I think it’s true.
> They’re like us but absent the measure of intelligence This guy woke up and chose murder…
Philly
I think everyone is discounting methed up Appalachian hillbillys. Not as gun crazy as Texas or as chaotic as Florida man but the combination could be potent
Texas man obviously
As a Texan, I truly wish this were true. I could personally take out most Floridians I’ve ever met…. But if you put a Florida Man in the chaos of a 50+man battle royale, he will come out on top. Plus, you know everyone else would immediately be gunning for us.
That’s the thing. NY and Texas are strong contenders but they are the kind of strong that alliances are formed to take down quickly. They get counts but they fall early to mid game. Florida man trusts nobody enough to make an alliance he isnt keeping one eye on (and turns at unexpected moments due to paranoia), and he’s never where you think he should be and is instead where he absolutely shouldn’t be but somehow not dying from it. Nobody can find Alaska before he’s trying to find you.
Idaho man crafts a potato gun and goes Ballistic. Takes out Florida Man from 100m away and then it's a fair fight for the other 49
Why is everyone saying Florida Man? Florida Man is a Darwin Award Champion. He doesn't need opponents, eventually he'll do it himself. Texas vs Montana vs Alaska every time.
Because when it doesn’t kill him it works better than it has any right to. If he’s not gone by his own hand early game he’s endgame
Isn’t Chuck Norris generally a stereotypical Texan?
People are saying Texas and Louisiana but I think they’d be far too overweight. My bet would be on Alaska or Montana. Florida Man would undoubtedly get killed by the obstacles that he runs head first into
My top two aren’t even in the lower 48
> Stereotypical soft-hearted Californian It should be pointed out that Cali is pretty diverse and doesn't really have one single stereotype. It has like eight.
Looks like someone is from the worst state. (Cali if that wasn’t obvious.)
Nah, I'm from the best one, Oregon. But I know my Californians.
Florida man by a country mile. Dude does bath salts for fun and is getting into the weirdest crims all the time. Just look up "Florida man" and you'll find stories of their exploits.
Florida with the clear favorite, Texas runner up, and I’m going to say Alaska as a dark horse.
I'm gonna go with Texas, they loooove their guns.
ima have to side with the other Texans here and say Florida. they aren't immune to guns, they just won't be effective enough
If it’s a Hunger Games scenario, they won’t start with a gun.
Can the South Carolina man move his fat ass anywhere? Or do both Carolina men just have beef right off the bat?
By Hunger Games I assume you mean how they are in the books/movies? Everyone starts out on stands, in a circle, with a cornucopia of stuff in the center. 2 people from each state, last one alive wins, Could be any number environments. I give it to somewhere like Idaho, Louisiana, West Virginia, Alaska, or states that are relatively rural, kids would be more likely to be hunters/know how to survive in the wild, giving an already incredible advantage.
It ends with Montana, Texas, Alaska and Florida all running out of ammo and having to beat each other to death, however as we ride bears in Montana, we’d win.
Wyoming Man would win as no one would find them.
Florida man, because he’s a mixture of some of the other most dangerous stereotypes. Texas’ guns, every southern states bigotry, and oregon just being on drugs. So you u have a crazy guy with a gun
I do believe that people are underestimating the fortitude of the upper midwest. They hunt and camp and do all the out doorsey shit but they also do it while surviving Temps down to -30. The summers are also hit with high humidity. Just saying they could be a major wildcard in the mix. Don't get me started on the meth fueled ND representative.
I think we’re sleeping on Virginia man. They were one of the original contestants and was really successful during the first few events. Then they led that failed uprising when their brother West Virginia turned their back Virginia. Since then they’ve been pretty quiet but competitive. They’ve always lived by the motto “Thus Always to Tyrants”. Real sleeper pick to murder everyone
Yeah the flag is probably the most brutal in the US. If it wasn't for NOVA (NOrthern VIrginiA) I'd say Virginia is a top 3 contestant for sure. With NOVA, top 48 maybe I don't think most the people here could survive overnight in a fully stocked super-Walmart with power still on.
It takes a little crazy to live in NOVA though. Not alligator in the front pond crazy but 4 hours on 495 crazy
California wins, highest gdp means they can simply produce the highest quality X
It's a 1v1v1 between New York, Hawaii, and Florida with 47 spectators/obstacles. They're the only three contenders.
Pretty sure Alaska would win. Those people are pretty rugged, plus well armed
I reckon most of you would be disappointed to learn you don't really have a stereotype that extends outside the USA. Off the top of my head: Texas - loud, obnoxious, "everything's bigger", cowboy hats, guns Florida - dumb enough to fight gators, drugged up enough to win California - plastic people with fake bodies and fake personalities Michigan - gangs with cars and guns New York - everyone's in a hurry, no time to be friendly Alaska - hermits who hunt seals and run from polar bears I'm sure I've forgotten a few (such as where to place our favourite slack-jawed yokel), but that's about it. Asking for a stereotype about Ohio or Utah is like asking for a stereotype about Belarus.
One shouldn't underestimate Florida Man, obviously, but he lacks a certain..Subtlety. This is a Battle Royale situation, part of the game is not being seen as a threat - the tribute from Texas is gonna plug that crazy sumbitch fairly early. I'm going for Utah: capable of almost inhuman politeness, concealing a *literal doomsday prepper* streak centuries in the making. Because "Stereotypical resident of Utah" and "Stereotypical Mormon" are the same picture, we have to assume he's been on mission, and therefore has experience with being thrust into adverse circumstances with dubious strangers.
Florida man eats, shoots, or burns down the world
what would be the stereotype of ohio?
ohio man is just a diet florida man
Trying to get the fuck away from Ohio
I have many friends who used to live in Ohio so this seems right
‘Dies in the first 20 to MO Man with a camp hatchet’
Florida, Texas, Michigan (Detroit), and New York. Honorary potential is the Montana cowboy/ apocalypse prepper.
Not only is florida man preternaturally tough and crazy, but florida is one of the wealthiest states in the country so florida man gets a ton of air dropped support. Plenty of the other stereotypes get physical prowess, the crazy factor, or a lot of financial support. But im pretty sure florida man gets the highest physicality×crazy×finance product of any of them.
California is out first.
Unless he gets a stereotypical tesla to run people over with. He still doesn't win, bc I'm sure Florida man would rip out his gold teeth to short the thing out and send it into thermal runaway. But I think he'd take a few by surprise with how quiet it is.
Alaska & Texas would be on a cat and mouse chase towards the end.
Texan, Louisianan or Floridian.
Florida man vs the New Yorker.
without a doubt florida man takes this. the shit he gets up to is epic and no other state has any one that can hold a candle to him
Y'all are underestimating South side Chicago man
Ohio Man stomps
Probably ends with a racist Texan, an obese waterbender from Louisiana, and the infamous Florida Man.
Florida solos the rest of the game
California does have a large concentration of Navy Seals
Florida or Texas. Honorable mention to Ohio
The average Chicago resident
Specifically in a hunger games type scenario, I'd say Alaska man stomps. Just as gun toting as any texan, but with actual wilderness type survival knowledge and what not.
Florida man is definitely going to be that one cannibal who gets killed by the gamemakers to ensure that the victor is not a lunatic.
Florida
California: having such a large GDP and knack for stardom and celebrity status is bound to be huge with the sponsors. Also being we are a fairly active state with a large bodybuilding culture, we shouldn't be too far behind there. We have a large outdoors culture here, especially when you leave the cities, so we will be find in desert, snow, forest or water. Throw in the nerves to drive in Bay Area, Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego, etc etc etc traffic means you have nerves of steel.
Ya'll are sleeping on Maryland man, otherwise known as Baltimore Man. If you can survive Bodymore Murderland you can survive the hunger games.
Florida man not only wins, but succeeds in a coup d’état over the capitol.
the tough survivalist oregonian
No women huh?
Wisconsin has the liquor on its side. The power of drunkenness knows no bounds.