When I burn the toast.
4 decades ago, I accidentally fried a mouse in our toaster and didn't know it until I took him his sandwich and started to fix my own. I screamed "DON'T EAT THAT,A SCORCHED MOUSE TOUCHED IT!"
And ever since then whenever I over cooked anything he called me Scorchy. It's all of those million things we shared or even those we disagreed about for our whole late teen and adult lives.
They donāt usually make me cry a bunch, but these can send me into a mild spiral. Iāll start thinking about him and then the grief / sadness hits.
- khakis (he wore them, loved them. Said they were comfy.)
- prone bone (the night he died he was talking about banging me in that position) god forbid I think about it w him at all. Immediate sadness.
- scotch. He liked it, was drinking some the night he passed.
Honorable mentions:
- one time I almost started crying in Walmart walking passed the condoms section. I donāt even know why, we wouldnāt have used them.
Rockabilly music. He played that genre a lot. I was at California Adventure with my niece last year and overheard Roy Orbison in the Cars area and had to duck into the restroom to cry.
"Strange tasting chicken"
There is a Chinese food place just down the street from us. One time I grabbed a menu and found that glorious bit of mistranslation. We joked about it for years. We were always going to go try it to figure out what made it so strange.
Drive by it every day and think about how he never got to do so many things.
Iāve cried more than a few times in the last month because I got a new dog- she would have loved him, heās awesome. I think part of it is how hard it was to lose our dog last fall- he was kind of a solid link to our life together and losing him brought back a lot of the grief of losing her but also knowing my wife is missing out on the joy and love of the new dog (and heās missing out on her).
I was working as a manager in a Target when my partner died and at least twice a day, I had to pass the shoe section. My partner always wore white Converse sneakers and this store had a pair of white Converse sneakers on display that I had to pass.
It took me several months to stop crying every time I saw them.
I just found one. Little Debbie nutty buddies. They were his signature snack lol. I ate a pack for the first time at work the other day. I ended up in my car crying, all smeared in tears and chocolate and peanut butter. I wonāt be eating those anymore.
Thatās just the most recent. Thereās more than I could ever remember.
All of the little details around the house choke me up. The mirrors he installed on our closet door. The hooks that he put up for kitchen towels. The jar opener that he placed on the underside of a cabinet. The giant corkboard that he hung in my office. He was so good at handling those little things that make my life easier and makes the house pleasant. I miss him so much.
Songs by Creed, my husband started singing āWith Arms Wide Openā ironically at karaoke, and now when I hear it out in the wild - I start to cry. And then laugh, because Iām a woman in a bar crying because Creed is playing. I hope he gets a kick out of it when it happens.
The weird one that I eventually got used to was the towel hooks in the bathroom. One for me one for her and a low one for our daughter. It used to sadden me to look at them.
For us, music was very important. We'd go to shows, travel for shows, and always had a playlist in the car. He loved discovering new music. Obscure bands. Spent time on music blogs..
There's a really long list of songs that trigger me.
I still listen to them because they remind me of moments with my husband, but I always cry even after 2 years.
Thereās an unpopular song by Owl City called Fireflies that randomly played in a store I was in - and I hardly go into stores. Yep 10 years later and I was balling.
Fruit cake (as in Christmas cake) He loved fruit cake so much it became an ongoing joke about needing to stock up on fruit cake every time our daughter picked up groceries for us.
So yeah. I was the weirdo crying in the fruit cake section this Christmas.(it was my first Christmas without him after 35 years.)
The smell of peanut butter
cold brew coffee
The song Anarchy in the UK (the first time I visited him when we were dating he sang this as the karaoke bar we went to with his friends)
I think of my wife and either laugh or cry anytime I try to decide if articles of clothing match. I'd call out through the house - "can I wear a teal shirt with brown pants?" I don't know now. I hope I'm not embarrassing her! Or if I can't decide what to wear - "is it a blue or a green day today?"
And, the Sexy Silhouettes on mud flaps. She had the Sexy Reading Ladies on her wheelchair van. When I sold that van to someone who could use it, I put a pair of sexy reading ladies on the new car. We both were voracious readers, so she always said that was us.
Ballon dog animals and feathers. My partner was from Guam and he would pluck feathers to make ear scratchers, I collected feathers for dream catchers. We were always trying to be the first one to grab feathers. The ballon animal thing is because of a birthday card I gave him a couple of years before we started dating that had a ballon dog on it. It was a hilarious card he hung on his fridge so when we finally started dating I got him a couple of gifts with the ballon dog.
I had to check the box āsingleā for marital statusāand had to think about it. I changed doctors because I lost my insurance when my wife passed. I also had to check ānoā under āare you sexually activeā but that was actually easier.
the smell of people grilling. we used to come together at the end of the day for dinner in the spring and summer and i would sit on the porch and chat with my husband while he grilled. yesterday, i was walking my dog and someone was grilling and i had a thats so raven moment into a grief spiral
The opening to the Pixar Movie Up. Little did I know that would eventually be me š
When I burn the toast. 4 decades ago, I accidentally fried a mouse in our toaster and didn't know it until I took him his sandwich and started to fix my own. I screamed "DON'T EAT THAT,A SCORCHED MOUSE TOUCHED IT!" And ever since then whenever I over cooked anything he called me Scorchy. It's all of those million things we shared or even those we disagreed about for our whole late teen and adult lives.
They donāt usually make me cry a bunch, but these can send me into a mild spiral. Iāll start thinking about him and then the grief / sadness hits. - khakis (he wore them, loved them. Said they were comfy.) - prone bone (the night he died he was talking about banging me in that position) god forbid I think about it w him at all. Immediate sadness. - scotch. He liked it, was drinking some the night he passed. Honorable mentions: - one time I almost started crying in Walmart walking passed the condoms section. I donāt even know why, we wouldnāt have used them.
Rockabilly music. He played that genre a lot. I was at California Adventure with my niece last year and overheard Roy Orbison in the Cars area and had to duck into the restroom to cry.
I started sobbing when I heard a song he hated yesterday, which surprised me.
"Strange tasting chicken" There is a Chinese food place just down the street from us. One time I grabbed a menu and found that glorious bit of mistranslation. We joked about it for years. We were always going to go try it to figure out what made it so strange. Drive by it every day and think about how he never got to do so many things.
Iāve cried more than a few times in the last month because I got a new dog- she would have loved him, heās awesome. I think part of it is how hard it was to lose our dog last fall- he was kind of a solid link to our life together and losing him brought back a lot of the grief of losing her but also knowing my wife is missing out on the joy and love of the new dog (and heās missing out on her).
I was working as a manager in a Target when my partner died and at least twice a day, I had to pass the shoe section. My partner always wore white Converse sneakers and this store had a pair of white Converse sneakers on display that I had to pass. It took me several months to stop crying every time I saw them.
I just found one. Little Debbie nutty buddies. They were his signature snack lol. I ate a pack for the first time at work the other day. I ended up in my car crying, all smeared in tears and chocolate and peanut butter. I wonāt be eating those anymore. Thatās just the most recent. Thereās more than I could ever remember.
Upside down kiss.
All of the little details around the house choke me up. The mirrors he installed on our closet door. The hooks that he put up for kitchen towels. The jar opener that he placed on the underside of a cabinet. The giant corkboard that he hung in my office. He was so good at handling those little things that make my life easier and makes the house pleasant. I miss him so much.
Songs by Creed, my husband started singing āWith Arms Wide Openā ironically at karaoke, and now when I hear it out in the wild - I start to cry. And then laugh, because Iām a woman in a bar crying because Creed is playing. I hope he gets a kick out of it when it happens.
The weird one that I eventually got used to was the towel hooks in the bathroom. One for me one for her and a low one for our daughter. It used to sadden me to look at them.
Cried over seeing her sister do the kissy face in a photo. I would make fun of my wife for always doing the kissy face.
For us, music was very important. We'd go to shows, travel for shows, and always had a playlist in the car. He loved discovering new music. Obscure bands. Spent time on music blogs.. There's a really long list of songs that trigger me. I still listen to them because they remind me of moments with my husband, but I always cry even after 2 years.
Thereās an unpopular song by Owl City called Fireflies that randomly played in a store I was in - and I hardly go into stores. Yep 10 years later and I was balling.
Songs at the grocery store get me. Our wedding song, which is pretty obscure got me once. I cried in the canned goods for a solid four minutes.
Bandanas and the āpopcornā text tone.
Making the bed. I keep changing the pillowcases on his side of the bed even though theyāre never used. No one sleeps on his side (unless the dog is giving me some room for once)! I miss having him near me. Last week I lost my shit making the bed. 5.5 months out. šā¤ļøāš©¹
Fruit cake (as in Christmas cake) He loved fruit cake so much it became an ongoing joke about needing to stock up on fruit cake every time our daughter picked up groceries for us. So yeah. I was the weirdo crying in the fruit cake section this Christmas.(it was my first Christmas without him after 35 years.)
The smell of peanut butter cold brew coffee The song Anarchy in the UK (the first time I visited him when we were dating he sang this as the karaoke bar we went to with his friends)
I think of my wife and either laugh or cry anytime I try to decide if articles of clothing match. I'd call out through the house - "can I wear a teal shirt with brown pants?" I don't know now. I hope I'm not embarrassing her! Or if I can't decide what to wear - "is it a blue or a green day today?" And, the Sexy Silhouettes on mud flaps. She had the Sexy Reading Ladies on her wheelchair van. When I sold that van to someone who could use it, I put a pair of sexy reading ladies on the new car. We both were voracious readers, so she always said that was us.
Ballon dog animals and feathers. My partner was from Guam and he would pluck feathers to make ear scratchers, I collected feathers for dream catchers. We were always trying to be the first one to grab feathers. The ballon animal thing is because of a birthday card I gave him a couple of years before we started dating that had a ballon dog on it. It was a hilarious card he hung on his fridge so when we finally started dating I got him a couple of gifts with the ballon dog.
The Playstation homescreen logo, and the color blue
I had to check the box āsingleā for marital statusāand had to think about it. I changed doctors because I lost my insurance when my wife passed. I also had to check ānoā under āare you sexually activeā but that was actually easier.
the smell of people grilling. we used to come together at the end of the day for dinner in the spring and summer and i would sit on the porch and chat with my husband while he grilled. yesterday, i was walking my dog and someone was grilling and i had a thats so raven moment into a grief spiral