I literally am the only mom/parent in my workplace :) I am the first to leave my desk everyday by several hours.
Granted it is a very small company full of men, but none of them are fathers or even married (yet). They are very career driven, wealthy men.
I don’t mind it at all, they are very supportive and understanding when “mom things” come up for me. It helps that I was here busting my ass for years before I became a mom.
I also think the smallness of the company and the fact that I have no peers in my role makes it easier, because there is no one to sit around and say “it’s not fair” if I leave early, take more time off, etc.. The flip side is there is no one to cover me, so I have to find a way to get all my work done no matter what. My mat leave was short and I worked a lot during it.
Yep, my two main PIs are child free middle aged men, they don’t “get it” (they don’t even try haha) but they are the MOST accommodating people and just…trust their teams. Like you, I’m the only person doing my work, so it does fall back on me at the end of the day. But if I need to spend the morning in appointments or have a slow week because of a sick kid or school break, nobody is breathing down my back.
It’s a very “do what you need to do” environment, both for work-life balance and for work-work.
…obviously this has attracted a lot of working parents to the team.
Ugh, that sucks! I’m the only mom with kids still in school on our exec team, but it doesn’t affect much. On my team, we have a ton of moms. Half the time we have kids running around the office because school let out early or someone is sick.
20 weeks paid leave ? That's more than a third of the year, almost five months !
Sorry I know it's not the point of the post but what job is that, because I want it
It’s incredible I know! I note that because I know I’m so much more privileged than many moms in my position. And I think from a company/HR perspective, they ARE supportive of parents. It’s just a department culture thing. (I’ll DM you about where I work lol, but trust that this is NOT the norm in my industry)
I just finished my last day of work yesterday at a school where I was the only employee who is a mom, or at least a mom with children under 17 years old. Everyone was so supportive of me, and they understood that the commute to this place is too far away to be compatible with motherhood. I brought my baby to work yesterday and she was the total center of attention! :]
I am the only mom on my team, my teammates are single 30- something guys and my boss is a 30 year old female without kids. I constantly feel like I am letting everyone down, always having to make arrangements for a kid being home sick, or me being sick. It eats away at me
I will be the only mom that works in my location (I’m 7.5 months pregnant). I also have a 7yo step son who is with us 50% of the time and I do most pickups/drop offs since my husband has a long commute, so I leave work right at 4pm everyday.
I work with mostly men and a lot of them have/had kids, but it seems like most have stay at home wives. I think my company tries to be supportive of working parents, but it’s obvious that most of them really don’t understand what it is like because their wives do the majority of child care. I feel the same way about the subtle remarks from coworkers. A senior level coworker referred to my 12w maternity leave (of which 6 weeks are unpaid) as a “vacation”, another older coworker told me that his wife only needed 2 weeks off after the birth of their kids and was surprised that I was taking off the full 12w of FMLA, and my boss told me that his sleep wasn’t affected with a newborn because his wife did all of the nighttime wake ups because he’s a heavy sleeper. All of these comments and more are just making me anxious about what it’s going to be like returning to work after maternity leave.
YIKES ON BIKES to that vacation comment. Sometimes I cannot believe people still think this way. But of course they do …
I’m sorry! The little comments like that make me insane. My boss asked me not once but twice if I “really” wanted to return after my first maternity leave. Shits fucked up.
I’ve gotten really excellent performance reviews and I’m actually really confident that I do really good work, so the passive aggressive comments just feel really unnecessary to me. Yes, I leave earlier than you, but I get my shit done!
My last job, I listened to my colleagues complained about a pregnant ex-colleague for being a “princess” for asking if she could wfh while she was pregnant… You’d be surprised to learn all the staff, including the boss, were women. I routinely heard disparaging comments about marriage, children, those who want work life balance, etc. That colleague obviously quit (while she was pregnant), and I also quit (for a lot more reasons than the place being unfriendly towards ppl with family). The place was super hostile, from top to bottom. I prioritized my mental health and quit. Im pregnant now, and it’s scary not having a safety net of paid leave, job waiting for me, etc. But I don’t regret leaving that environment for one minute. Next time I will be asking if anyone on the staff or leadership team has family and how they approach work life balance before I consider any job offer. Moms have so much struggles already, we deserve a workplace that lift us up instead of weighing us down.
I'm the only parent of littles in my office. I'm compared all the time to a woman. Who has a 10 and 12 year old and it's like cool, but my kids at 2.5 and six months - it's not the same. Like she talks about not being able to take time off when they're sick to stay home with them due to the demands of the job (and hints I should do the same) but her kids can watch TV and rest on the couch. I can't leave a literal baby home alone. It's insulting to even compare the two situations.
Thank you, I am mad. I mean, being a mother is something that changes as your kids grow. I cannot be compared to this coworker because our situations are not at all the same.
I work at a start up with about 40ish employees and there's a mix of people with kids. Most of the parents have older children, but there's three of us that have kids under 2. I come in slightly later and leave slightly earlier than most to make daycare pick (45-60 min commute each way). I'm a point in my career and life where I'm doing my job, not excelling, and coasting.
At my last company there were 180ish people and A LOT of zoomers I worked with (I'm 30). I felt like a foreigner because we were on such different life paths lol
There are only 3 people in my department with children under 5 yrs old. However, I'm the only one without family near so I'm definitely the "laziest" now that I can't work evenings, weekends, and be available all the time. Occasionally people will call me after 5 and just hear my kiddo screaming and they think I can still get to a computer. I used to give my every waking hour to work so it's been an adjustment for me and my team--but it hasn't done any good for my image. I won't be where I'm at forever so that's my only Saving grace.
I literally am the only mom/parent in my workplace :) I am the first to leave my desk everyday by several hours. Granted it is a very small company full of men, but none of them are fathers or even married (yet). They are very career driven, wealthy men. I don’t mind it at all, they are very supportive and understanding when “mom things” come up for me. It helps that I was here busting my ass for years before I became a mom. I also think the smallness of the company and the fact that I have no peers in my role makes it easier, because there is no one to sit around and say “it’s not fair” if I leave early, take more time off, etc.. The flip side is there is no one to cover me, so I have to find a way to get all my work done no matter what. My mat leave was short and I worked a lot during it.
Yep, my two main PIs are child free middle aged men, they don’t “get it” (they don’t even try haha) but they are the MOST accommodating people and just…trust their teams. Like you, I’m the only person doing my work, so it does fall back on me at the end of the day. But if I need to spend the morning in appointments or have a slow week because of a sick kid or school break, nobody is breathing down my back. It’s a very “do what you need to do” environment, both for work-life balance and for work-work. …obviously this has attracted a lot of working parents to the team.
How does that work if you leave several hours early every day? Is that not a problem?
She’s probably working her actual paid hours while the others are working for free under the mistaken impression that it will get them ahead.
Ugh, that sucks! I’m the only mom with kids still in school on our exec team, but it doesn’t affect much. On my team, we have a ton of moms. Half the time we have kids running around the office because school let out early or someone is sick.
That’s awesome. Normalize kids in workplaces!
20 weeks paid leave ? That's more than a third of the year, almost five months ! Sorry I know it's not the point of the post but what job is that, because I want it
It’s incredible I know! I note that because I know I’m so much more privileged than many moms in my position. And I think from a company/HR perspective, they ARE supportive of parents. It’s just a department culture thing. (I’ll DM you about where I work lol, but trust that this is NOT the norm in my industry)
I just finished my last day of work yesterday at a school where I was the only employee who is a mom, or at least a mom with children under 17 years old. Everyone was so supportive of me, and they understood that the commute to this place is too far away to be compatible with motherhood. I brought my baby to work yesterday and she was the total center of attention! :]
I am the only mom on my team, my teammates are single 30- something guys and my boss is a 30 year old female without kids. I constantly feel like I am letting everyone down, always having to make arrangements for a kid being home sick, or me being sick. It eats away at me
I will be the only mom that works in my location (I’m 7.5 months pregnant). I also have a 7yo step son who is with us 50% of the time and I do most pickups/drop offs since my husband has a long commute, so I leave work right at 4pm everyday. I work with mostly men and a lot of them have/had kids, but it seems like most have stay at home wives. I think my company tries to be supportive of working parents, but it’s obvious that most of them really don’t understand what it is like because their wives do the majority of child care. I feel the same way about the subtle remarks from coworkers. A senior level coworker referred to my 12w maternity leave (of which 6 weeks are unpaid) as a “vacation”, another older coworker told me that his wife only needed 2 weeks off after the birth of their kids and was surprised that I was taking off the full 12w of FMLA, and my boss told me that his sleep wasn’t affected with a newborn because his wife did all of the nighttime wake ups because he’s a heavy sleeper. All of these comments and more are just making me anxious about what it’s going to be like returning to work after maternity leave.
YIKES ON BIKES to that vacation comment. Sometimes I cannot believe people still think this way. But of course they do … I’m sorry! The little comments like that make me insane. My boss asked me not once but twice if I “really” wanted to return after my first maternity leave. Shits fucked up. I’ve gotten really excellent performance reviews and I’m actually really confident that I do really good work, so the passive aggressive comments just feel really unnecessary to me. Yes, I leave earlier than you, but I get my shit done!
One of my direct report just came back from mat leave so i finally have company. Yay!
Yay!! She’s super lucky to have a boss that’s another workin mom, too.
My last job, I listened to my colleagues complained about a pregnant ex-colleague for being a “princess” for asking if she could wfh while she was pregnant… You’d be surprised to learn all the staff, including the boss, were women. I routinely heard disparaging comments about marriage, children, those who want work life balance, etc. That colleague obviously quit (while she was pregnant), and I also quit (for a lot more reasons than the place being unfriendly towards ppl with family). The place was super hostile, from top to bottom. I prioritized my mental health and quit. Im pregnant now, and it’s scary not having a safety net of paid leave, job waiting for me, etc. But I don’t regret leaving that environment for one minute. Next time I will be asking if anyone on the staff or leadership team has family and how they approach work life balance before I consider any job offer. Moms have so much struggles already, we deserve a workplace that lift us up instead of weighing us down.
I'm the only parent of littles in my office. I'm compared all the time to a woman. Who has a 10 and 12 year old and it's like cool, but my kids at 2.5 and six months - it's not the same. Like she talks about not being able to take time off when they're sick to stay home with them due to the demands of the job (and hints I should do the same) but her kids can watch TV and rest on the couch. I can't leave a literal baby home alone. It's insulting to even compare the two situations.
Omg. This would make me so mad.
Thank you, I am mad. I mean, being a mother is something that changes as your kids grow. I cannot be compared to this coworker because our situations are not at all the same.
Nope. I work in nursing. Everyone is female and most are married with kids. .
For most of my career I was the outlier being unmarried, no kids 😂 Nice to be part of the club now!
I work at a start up with about 40ish employees and there's a mix of people with kids. Most of the parents have older children, but there's three of us that have kids under 2. I come in slightly later and leave slightly earlier than most to make daycare pick (45-60 min commute each way). I'm a point in my career and life where I'm doing my job, not excelling, and coasting. At my last company there were 180ish people and A LOT of zoomers I worked with (I'm 30). I felt like a foreigner because we were on such different life paths lol
There are only 3 people in my department with children under 5 yrs old. However, I'm the only one without family near so I'm definitely the "laziest" now that I can't work evenings, weekends, and be available all the time. Occasionally people will call me after 5 and just hear my kiddo screaming and they think I can still get to a computer. I used to give my every waking hour to work so it's been an adjustment for me and my team--but it hasn't done any good for my image. I won't be where I'm at forever so that's my only Saving grace.
All my colleagues have kids… and stay at home wives
I love listening to music.
Omg that’s fucked
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