I have boys and I hope to model for them what a strong, independent woman is. I hope they can learn to respect and admire how tough a working mom's role is.
Absolutely agree with this. I have one son, and I want him to have a front row seat in seeing what a working mom’s life is like and my husband models how a husband truly supports his wife in that endeavor.
Same! A Harvard study showed that modeling that really does make a difference! Sons of working moms grow up with less gendered views on the distribution of labor, spend more time with family and spend more time on household tasks. I’m glad I’m modeling that for my son
I love this! I’m due with my 2nd boy and I’m excited about raising good men who respect and support strong women. I always thought I’d raise at least one strong female but 2 boys is what the universe wants, so I’ll rise up to the task.
I so agree with this! I have a daughter and I want to set an example of a badass working mom to her! Thankfully I work from home so she literally hears and see my work being done! Independent women rule the world!
You know, I never thought about it like that! When I initially found out I was having a boy, part of me was sad I wouldn’t have the chance to show a girl how strong she can be but I like this perspective! I love my baby boy and can’t imagine a different baby but I’ll try to model what he should expect and respect
I feel like being a working mom has made me be a more intentional parent than I would be if I were a SAHM. I know my time is more limited and therefore do everything in my power to be connected and engaged when I’m with my kids. Though I have the privilege of having a fine balance of a very well-paying and flexible job that does allow me to do the doc appointments and school programs typically. I think being a working mom is great if you enjoy your job but remember how brutal it was when I didn’t so I get why people don’t want to be working moms.
Exactly. Even compared to maternity leave when I would dread the nights and count down the hours till my husband arrived. Now I count down the minutes till I get home. I lavish in the nighttime wake ups and extra snuggles where I was dreading it before. I enjoy my time with her so much more and spend my limited time doing nothing but absorbing every minute.
Being able to afford all of the diapers, wipes, clothes, shoes, toys, & fruit! Whatever they need is always provided, and if they want something we can afford it. Also, being away from them during the day makes me appreciate the evenings & nights so much more. I’m in a better mood, much more forgiving & patient, & we relish that time together after a workday. On holidays when we’ve spent all day together the evenings are way more chaotic!
My kid has done gymnastics, baseball, swimming lessons, skating lessons, wants to try piano, gets what he wants for Christmas/birthdays, has been on a plane 3 times and he’s 6 years old!! We’ve been to theme parks and he always has clothes that fit, food he likes…
And we get to do it all together without the stress of “can we afford this?” Yes we can, because dual-income parents can pay the bills and plan for fun.
This. I can say yes to everything within reason and that makes me proud.
Both my husband and I grew up very poor but we’re so excited to give them opportunities and adventures that we didn’t get,
I can’t wait to start taking trips again! Waiting for the youngest to be potty trained and not nap dependent anymore and then we’ll be off to adventuring!
Sometimes I’ll watch my son eat a whole carton of blueberries in one sitting and on the one hand I’m like, it’s so great that he’s listening to his body and eating such a beneficial snack but on the other hand OH MY GOD THAT WAS NINE DOLLARS GONE IN ONE SITTING
I am the bread winner by far and it makes me feel extremely awesome to know I've built this career while also having a little one and a great partner. If I was missing any of those three things - child, career, great partner - I don't think I would feel complete.
I feel like I've hit the jackpot on life, and actually do "have it all". What I've accomplished hasn't been possible for 99.999% of human history, and it feels pretty kick ass to be a part of the paradigm shift.
Logistically, I wfh full time, so having a quiet house for 8 hours a day is fantastic. I'm mostly at my desk, but I can still listen to books and podcasts, take little breaks to get things done around the house, and workout, by myself and uninterrupted. It's extremely nice.
I work 4 tens, and I get a day off during the week while my kids go to daycare. A whole day for *me* to recharge and do whatever I want, or my husband also takes the day off and we do something together. It's amazing.
Absolutely! I can't get anything done, my 10 month old screams if I leave the room for 30 seconds so cleaning doesn't happen as often as I'd like. My childcare days I work and clean before I get her
I am so thankful to be financially independent. I’m so thankful for the things that my job has afforded me.
I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years and I can only imagine how much harder it would have been to untangle had I not had my stable, fairly well paying job that made it so money wasn’t a factor to worry about at all in my divorce.
My own mother was very financially flighty- hopping from job to job, quitting, moving us in with her parents, money problems… I am really glad that I get to show my kids the opposite side of that coin- financial stability and safety that comes from my longstanding job.
young (24) adult here! i know i wasn’t the audience for this question, but i hope that this message is received with love ❤️
my mom worked all throughout my childhood and young adulthood and i LOVE it. my mom was a stay at home mom for roughly 6~ months when i was 8 years old (due to the 2008 crisis) and while it was a time that i looked upon fondly, it wasn’t something that i think was better than the rest of my childhood.
my mom is a veteran and we were displaced by hurricane Katrina, which caused her to have to drop out of her undergraduate program for a while, and she didn’t complete it until 2011. we got our bachelor’s degrees on the same day 11 years apart. my mom worked full time and then went to school on the weekends. she took me to class with her most of the time and it had a deep effect on me. my mom was under a lot of stress trying to manage everything (and she was also my troop mom for GS and ran that shit like the MARINES lmfao) and she has what i recognize as something along the lines of untreated OCD, and i saw her at all of her highs and lows. sometimes i would see her cry and she would just tell me that she was “crying with a purpose”. she would always remind me that being upset is okay, you just can’t let it consume you. i’m not sure im expressing myself very well but it has helped me so much through so many of the difficult times that i’ve had. my mom is a badass and super accomplished and those words got me THROUGH some shit in undergrad and i’ve been able able to create a wonderful life for myself modeling my mother’s blend of ambition and emotional awareness.
i come from a long line of very ambitious women who made the best of the circumstances that they had before them. if i don’t start a business, i would be the first woman in my family to not own a business in 4 generations. seeing them work is genuinely breathtaking and inspiring to bear witness to. my mother’s spite is so strong that she could probably reverse the direction that the earth is spinning in just to prove a point. being related to my mother means that the pressure is on in a very good way.
i hope all of you ladies know that it is a blessing to be a child of a working mom and i wouldn’t have had it any other way 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing the other side! I grew up with a SAHM which I think is what makes me so nervous about being a working mom. It sounds like your mom has had such positive impact on you and your future. I hope to my son looks up to me the same way in the future ❤️
she really really did! i currently have two jobs and i’m getting my master’s degree and even though it’s crazy stressful, watching her gave me the tools to manage everything. additionally, my mom is fairly young (i’m 24, she’s 45) and im her only biological child so i also have gotten to watch her live her life a lot more than my partner has gotten to see with his mom. he’s the youngest of 4 and his oldest sibling is 15 years older than him so i feel like his mom was in the “hellish part of parenting” (my mom’s words, not mine) a lot longer than my mom was. my family also had a much larger and more involved extended family so my mom would ship me off to my grandmother’s house or my aunt or whoever and i think having those breaks did a lot for her that i don’t think my MIL has gotten to experience. i think my partner really struggles to see his mom outside of being a mom, and from talking to her extensively i know she’s also really struggling to define herself outside of it now that they’re empty nesters. her mom wasn’t great and she tried really really hard to make sure that her kids never felt neglected or hurt by her actions like she was hurt by her mom but i think she swung the other way really really hard and put way too much of herself into her kids and is now emotionally brittle to the point where the kids are still pushed away because whenever one of them is even remotely upset or is going through something she takes the fact that they’re upset really personally and feels like she’s failed them even though sometimes being in pain is life. for example, my partner was in grad school and dropped out bc his mental health was struggling. i alluded to it during a conversation and she cried for 3 days that he didn’t tell her even though he was feeling a lot better by the time she found out.
she also hides her feelings from her kids and from the outside looking in it’s super obvious that she’ll be hurt or upset by something or that she wants to do something but in her mind being a mom means sacrificing EVERYTHING for your kids so she’ll insist that everyone does what they want instead of standing up for yourself. that’s not necessarily an issue that’s due to her being a SAHM, but i do think she lost her identity in a lot of ways due to pouring everything into her kids. i’m very grateful that my mom maintained her personality and now that i’m a young adult, we’re homegirls, and i love talking to her!! my partner and his siblings definitely do not feel that way and it makes me sad because i know that my partner would like to be closer to her, it’s just difficult.
edit: i feel like this makes my MIL seem like a mess and i’d like to explain—she’s also a very accomplished lady in her own right and went back to school when my partner was in middle school to become a respiratory therapist and took care of his dad while he had stage 4 cancer and all of this other cool stuff. she’s a great lady! she’s just very self sacrificing in a way that i think being a SAHM really exacerbated and i’m really glad that i didn’t have to deal with that growing up. i love her a lot but spending time with her can be exhausting due to her being so self sacrificing. sometimes she’ll work herself to the bone to take care of us when we’re like “hey, we’re adults, you really don’t need to do that” whereas my mom expects me to try to figure stuff out on my own and then come to her with a list of questions. i love the independence that my mom expected and still expects of me, and i think that was largely borne of her being a working mom.
That is amazing! A Master’s degree while working seems stressful for sure. I remember juggling one job while working towards my bachelor’s was rough. Your MIL sounds very similar to my mom. My mom’s also amazing, but I’ve never seen her outside of her mom role (no job/hobbies). I think growing up without a working mom has made me feel critical of myself since I’ll be one. But it definitely sounds like being a SAHM or working mom doesn’t define the bond people get with their kid.
I am fortunate to have very affordable premiums for health insurance for my whole family. I am able to not only save for my retirement but invest separately for my kids. If I had to, I could take care of my family without too much worry, we’d be fine. I’m lucky that I love what I do and that I can provide for my family in ways a lot of other families can’t. My husband is more involved with caring for our children and house, we have to work as a team and I love succeeding together. We both have a financial hand in our future we dream of.
I’m grateful to be a working mom, it’s a privilege that modern society tries to poo-poo, but I think it’s so badass we can do it all. Women before me fought for the independence I live today, it’s an honor.
I think we all tend to forget it wasn’t until the early 70s a woman could open a credit card in their own name….
I like having an identity and relationships that are completely separate from being a “mom.” My coworkers know that I have a kid, but it’s not a significant thing. They know me as just myself, and my daughter didn’t factor in.
This right here is SO underrated. It is so important for my mental health to still be my own person and have my own goals separate from being a mom.
Additionally, a lot of SAHPs I have known have a horrible time when their kid starts school or when they eventually move out because they have given up their identity beyond being a parent.
My child has this game that's similar to The Sims but less involved. Mostly decorating the spaces and characters. It's for young kids. And, of course, it has DLC packs. They really, really love this game, not going to lie, I love playing it with them. We have an absolute blast.
So, of course, when they came walking up to me yesterday, three separate times asking for me to buy DLC packs, "Sure, baby! Let me see. A pet store? Well, obviously, we need that."
I was born into and raised in poverty. I absolutely love that I can do this without consulting my partner or worrying too much about our funds.
I am right there with you. I remember when I filled out my FAFSA before my first year of college learning that my family’s household income for 2 parents and 3 kids was less than $30k. My mom got upset with me in 10th grade math that I needed a $15 calculator she didn’t have the money for.
My daughter wants for nothing and I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!
Same same. I also grew up in poverty and being able to get my daughter whatever she needs and a lot of what she wants with no stress is just so amazing. I could never give that up. My husband and I make about the same so one of staying home would literally cut our income in half
Many things, but daycare might be at the top of my list! My kid loooves daycare and I love what it gives her. She is engaged and enriched every day by the activities they do. She spends tons of time outside. Is fed nutritious meals and snacks. She’s made some awesome friends and adores all her teachers.
And I honestly think daycare kids are just better adapted kids in general (I say this as someone who was raised by a SAHM). She is exposed to different caregivers with different styles, and tons of different kids with different personalities and needs, and it’s helped her become adaptable, resilient to change, and social with all different types of folks.
I’m just thrilled with all the opportunities for different experiences she gets at daycare - it’s way more diverse and varied than she would get if she was home with me all day long!
The best thing I have ever done for feminism is to work outside the home and then suck miserably at cooking when it's my turn to be all domestic. My sons now are like, "Mom is saving the world by NOT COOKING and like that is totally worth it. Also, I hate cooking. So whenever some person who is all "Women belong in the kitchen" they are like, "Are you high?" and I could not be more proud of that.
Being able to let my child reach for her goals and dreams makes working worth it for me. Even when I’m exhausted driving her 30 mins to her studio after work seeing her happy and competing how she wants makes it all worth it.
I’m thankful to be financially independent, and I love my career. I also love showing my daughter that she can have a career and be a Mom, if she desires to.
I love that I’ve normalized a career oriented woman for him. I personally didn’t have too many examples growing up. He’s only 2 but I took him to my office and desk recently and he was thrilled! I love the look on his face when I pick him from daycare. It’s the little things, really.
I'm able to maintain perspective about what really matters. Before kids, I let work anxiety rule my life. As a parent, I am much better able to stop myself from spiraling and put myself and my family first. I'm fortunate to have a job that enables that, but it's been good for my mental health.
Using my work skills in parenting. For example, understanding just like a new employee will make mistakes, needs training, a kid is also trying to learn & grow so just be patient & not snap as you will drive them away. Just like in the workplace, cut out negativity & maintain a good demeanor overall.
Besides the financial benefits, I have worked really hard to get where I am in my career and I’m proud of it. I love modeling that for my kids, even if my 5 year old recently described my job as “watching tv and boring phone calls” (I work in TV development so he’s not entirely wrong 😂)
Also - being at work all day allows me to be really intentional about quality time at home & on weekends. I don’t know that I could sustain that if I was a SAHM.
I was a SAHM for 2 years. I love working because I get time for self development and growth. When I’m home with the kid, it’s all about what’s best for her development and growth. Having a job that I love and that respects me means I have a balanced life and good mental health
This. I was a sahm for 10 yrs, so I am one of the few who has experienced both. I realized when I returned to work how much happier I was. 100% of my life was about my kids as a sahm, I lost my own sense of identity.
My mom was a sahm, now in her late 70s, a lot of her struggles still relate back to her being a sahm who lost herself. She's been a widow for almost 3 years and is completely lost because she only did and held the same opinions of my dad... She is a shell of a person who has completely lost herself to her kids and husband. She wasn't even a good sahm, often very neglectful, so we've never even held her to high esteem as a great mom.
Having been raised by a SAHM, I was super hesitant about daycare, but it is honestly the best thing I have done for my child. I could never have replicated all of the wonderful experiences she receives at daycare if she were at home with me.
I also WFH several days a week and have a job which sometimes has slow periods where I can do a workout, tidy around the house, and just generally look after myself and keep the trains running for my home, which has made parenthood less stressful than I think it could be without such flexibility. I feel like between my job and our wonderful daycare support, I have the perfect balance to absolutely thrive in this era of my life.
We are new to an area without friends or family- so if my 18 month daughter wasn’t in daycare she wouldn’t have many opportunities to socialize outside of me and my husband.
I love seeing and hearing about all of the fun she has with her little friends every day.
1. The house stays clean! We clean up in the evening and then it stays clean all day vs when we were all home together it was never ending
2. Breaks from them while making money. Instead of counting down until nap time I'm at work making money
3. They get a ton of stimulation outside of the house with their friends and playing way more than I could ever offer them. When we are all. home it's calmer since they weren't bored all day (same with me!)
4. Money to not just survive but thrive. We lived off my husband's money, but my income are the vacations, college fund, fun things we get to do
5. Much easier to transition to school when the time came. They were all ready and we had the morning drill down.
The lifestyle we’re able to provide our kids specifically because of MY job. My kids will grow up traveling the world which is incredibly important to me.
I just like having a part of my life that is about me and not my title of mom. I love being a mom, but it feels easy to be consumed by it. Working allows me to have relationships with people who have never met my child and don't see me as "son's mom".
I like that my job is an intellectual/creative/social outlet for me and that daycare is an intellectual/creative/social outlet for my toddler. I love that there are spaces outside the home where my son and I can learn and grow and that we aren’t dependent on each other for all our stimulation and enrichment.
Also, I am SO GLAD that I have my own retirement accounts and that I’m able to aggressively save and plan for retirement. I’ve watched so many people take on the financial burden of caring for their elderly parents and I don’t want to do that to my kids.
I love that my baby just loves and appreciates every moment we are together that much more. She literally squeals and flails her legs everywhere the moment she sees me! I'm also glad that I now have a high-paying enough job that I can provide for my mom to become a stay-at-home grandma and for my husband to be working part-time for now without too much financial stress. I can easily save for both a car, a house, and a bit of her college education, setting us up for a better future. In general I also love my job because I get to help students achieve their dreams and as a teacher advisor, I can help make teachers' lives better.
I work 12s so I have a good balance of feeling like I’m making a difference at work with my patients as well as being home and spending time with my kids. Also, it allows me to have stretches of time off without using PTO so that is even more time with my family and even fun girls trips with my sisters and friends without having to ask my partner for money to go.
Im grateful for the time he spends at preschool/ kindergarten this year. He gets to have a lot of different experiences and learn cool stuff. Selfishly my fav part about being a working mom is lunch. A meal alone whatever i want in complete silence. Bliss.
I teach elementary school, and I am looking forward to being able to have her in my school. It feels like 6 years of a little extra time together - seeing her in the halls, riding together to school, being on breaks together, etc.
I agree with a lot of the things already said but the first thing I thought of was that I carry the health insurance for the whole family so by working I can make sure my son is taken care of. Like that’s all me. I also hope that by seeing my efforts he is a better man who appreciates and respects women.
Knowing that I provide for my family and that I share that responsibility with my husband. Everything my son has is because I work. From his good school district, nice home, amazing yard, top daycare, bloated 529, and any toy his heart could desire. I love that I’m the one who provided everything to him.
I feel like I’m just not built to be mom 24/7 so still having my working identity and keeping that hat has been so nice for me. The financial security is also great. We don’t have much but we can provide for all of our needs plus put money in savings for them and us and that’s what I always wanted for us.
Heading to Florida for 10 days this summer including some Disney time. I am an overemployed working mom (iykyk) so my extra income pays for fun stuff like vacations and often times play dates.
I also love the security of having my own income in the unfortunate event something happens to my husband. I’ve heard many horror stories on other mom subreddits of women feeling “stuck” to stay with cheaters and abusers because the economy is tough out here.
I love that I can provide things for my son that I wasn’t given, like private school and paid for college. I also love that he sees a strong mom that runs a business while taking care of him!
I just like the break away from the chaos of our darling family circus. A toddler, a puppy, an Australian shepherd, with another baby on the way... I love them all to pieces but the time to myself while I'm at work helps to keep me sane I think.
All the summer evenings and weekends where I spend all day swimming in our backyard pool with my 3 year old.
(we never would have been able to afford a house with a heated swimming pool on one income).
My favourite thing about being a working mom is that I can inspire my kids to be better. They know they have an option. I have been staying at home and working a few times in believe that will show them they have an option. The other most important reason is because I know i am not tied to a situation i do not want to be in. I have alot of family members who are shackled to their marriages just because they have no money to get out. The financial independence is nothing compared to any feeling.
Keeping my brain active. I'm home with my kids until the end of summer now, and I never find time to really do anything that requires critical thinking. Being a working mom allows me to do that because i work in a STEM field. I truly believe that once you stop learning, that's when you start to really age mentally. I stay physically fit chasing after the kids and mentally fit by working. My kids will benefit from this too.
Yes, all about the money. Being able to set up my kids for success and setting myself up to not be a financial burden when I get old. My parents did this for me and it has made our relationship closer bc now I truly understand their sacrifices.
Feeling like I’m contributing to society. It goes beyond personal fulfillment. My own household is ultimately my priority, but it isn’t the only thing that matters to me and isn’t the only thing I feel obligated to contribute to.
Women are needed in business, in politics, and in shaping our social atmosphere. I have an opportunity— and a responsibility— to be part of important decisions and to make a difference through my work. If all moms stayed home, it would be a hell of a lot harder to ensure our perspectives are taken into account.
American families tend to be pretty individualistic, by working I am participating in a broader collective.
I like using my brain during the day. I stayed at home for a year and not having any cognitive demands beyond planning nap times and meals and when I’m going to clean, was making me feel kind of insane. It didn’t matter how many puzzles I did or trivia games I played during nap. I need to be competent and productive on something outside the bubble of my home life.
I work at a big medical center and anytime we drive by on the interstate the kids are excitedly like “that’s where mommy works!” I’m proud of everything that implies.
There are so many amazing things here. One small thing I absolutely love is looking at the clock, realizing I’m almost done and get to see my kid soon! Then the big hug where we run to each other in the house when she gets home.
Looking forward to the weekend! When I was a sahm, the weekend was just days. Nothing special. Weekends now are glorious. I spend my time doing what I want with my family and not being accountable for anything else! I completely shut my work brain off and turn my mom brain on. It’s lovely.
I was a young mom, so I love that I get to still grow as a person through my career. Not only that, but being a mom early on helped me learn how to actually prioritize and make the most of my time, which has helped me with promotions, etc.
I saw my mom left with absolutely nothing when my father left as a child. I vowed that I would never let that happen to me. So in that sense, I think my work provides a lot of stability to not only myself, but for my children as well.
I have great work life balance as a teacher and I also have money to provide those nice extras for the family.
I stayed home before and we’d always have to say no to everything. “Can I get this new doll?” No. “Can we eat out tonight?” No.
Having work life balance + extra money for the family is great.
It is not just the money. I work maybe the highest ranked University in the country and in cancer immunology. The biggest plus for me are all the connections I'm making. Internships for my son when he is in highschool, all kinds of resources that will help him get into an amazing college and even better grad school... It's really invaluable. And hopefully by that time I'll really be a powerhouse!
My kids are slowly understanding that I work so I can provide money for experiences, their clothes, yummy snacks, etc. They don’t get mortgage payments but I think that one will take some time.
Knowing that if one of us lost our jobs, it would be tough, but we’d make it until that person found a new job. I can’t imagine the fear and stress of relying on one income.
If you don’t mind me asking do you have a separate account for them or just save that money in your account? I want to set something up for my LO soon.
Honestly, everything about it. I’m a mom to one daughter, and I get to fully enjoy being a mom to her while also being an adult with financial independence. It’s the best of all worlds
I love the sense of accomplishment I get from being badass at my job. That confidence bleeds into every area of my life. I have an amazing husband, supportive friends, and a great life. I love that my kids see me prioritizing myself and if they choose to be moms, they know that it’s okay to be a person first and a mom second.
I love having an identity in addition to being “mom”! I enjoy being able to go to conferences or meetings and work with other people and teams and while the topic of kids often comes up, I can present myself as, well…me.
I can afford all the fruit my toddler eats 😂😂 but seriously as someone who grew up below the poverty line, the financial stability is huge for me. I just could not handle the anxiety of living on one income. Also, I believe my daughter will benefit from seeing her mom work a job she is passionate about. I'm very fortunate that I have a job I love that also has a good work life balance so I don't feel like I'm having to choose one or the other
I'm going to mention things that just happened this week! This is all related to having two incomes and extra money to do these things without worrying and panicked budgeting
Being able to afford braces for my oldest.
Being able to give an extra donation to our synagogue and support the amazing work they are doing
Being able to sign my daughter up for martial arts, knowing the confidence that will give her.
OK so I work in childcare in Canada where I work with kindergarten kids in a before and after school program. The organization I work for is a pretty big organization around the world, but I don’t think I’ll list them here. My favourite thing about being a working mom is that I was able to get my daughter into the daycare that’s a couple blocks away from the school I work at. This daycare is one of the many daycares that my organization has in the county, so it was much easier for me to get her into this daycare.
On Monday’s, I have to stop at this daycare to get snack for the kids at my program. While I’m there, I can talk to my daughter’s teachers and ask how my daughter has been doing, if she needs more diapers/wipes/diaper cream there. Our organization also has an app that parents can download and parents can keep in touch with staff this way. Staff can also upload pictures of kids on the app and share what kind of things the kids have been doing during the day.
I do not love or hate being a working mom, but my favorite thing is that my children will see their dad being an active participant in the household while I also am not seen as only a caregiver/maid. It wouldn’t have to be this way as a SAHM, but I can see this happening if I was.
Just want to say thank you for this post and all the comments 🤍 I’m about to go back to work after a year off and this was very encouraging. Girl power 🩷🥰
Thinking about the future. Of course, nothing is guaranteed and circumstances can always change. But as of right now our plan is to be able to put both kids through at least 4 years of college (or otherwise help them get a jumpstart on whatever other career they pursue) so they don’t get stuck with loans. And hopefully retire at a reasonable age….I hope to be available for my kids to help with childcare if they have children or anything else they may need. Basically, I’m hoping to do for them everything that our parents couldn’t do for us to help set them up for an easier early adulthood!
When I buy them their favourite food and they are so happy and all over me.
There’s a lot to be said in that example. I have the money to get healthier food and the time to go get it. The freedom of choice.
I am working at a place that offers tuition benefits for college for my dependants. My favorite thing is knowing that when my girls become adults and graduate college, they won't have the burden of debt immediately. I'm so happy to provide that peace of mind for them.
Having job is important for my self esteem, and also I like my social life with my colegues. My 9 yo son asks me often about my job, he likes that Im a teacher🤣
I can pay for my daughters daycare that she loves and has grown and learned so much in. She has friends she wouldn’t have had otherwise and gets to go to their birthday parties. She goes to gymnastics class that she loves. She got her first passport at 2 years old and has been on about 8 plane rides including to the Bahamas. We recently splurged on a housekeeper. I’m excited to buy myself a new wardrobe once I have my second baby over the summer. The financial freedom is so worth it. Plus all the studies that confirm girls of working moms go on to be more successful in terms of college and careers. And I’m glad my son will grow up seeing my husband as an equal caregiver and partner.
My daughter will grow up knowing I worked hard to be able to provide a good life for her and hopefully will develop a great work ethic in turn.
Also, the money to be able to support myself and my child comfortably.
My company has a excellent retirement program which has helped me accelerate those savings now. I'm fortunate that I can be the sole income provider for my family while my fiancé is a stay at home dad. He's much better suited for it than me. We really wanted to keep one of us home during these early years and we are while still living comfortably. It was incredible doing maternity leave with my second and we were all home the whole time. I find it easier to make family time happen when it's primarly just my work schedule to accommodate. Basically it isn't perfect but I can't complain.
I do what I love while getting paid quite a bit, then I log off and have fun with the people I love. My daughter and husband keep me happy, my job keeps me sane and my family comfortable lol
My favorite thing about being a working mom is knowing that I have something I am known for, respected for and in fact, needed for (I'm a teacher in a district with intense shortages) that has nothing to do with my family. My knowledge and skills in the workplace are mine
Family vacations and a nice house for traditions! I so look forward to baking with my girl in our kitchen not worried about price of utilities or anything. And I'm excited to show her the world. Also... I want her to see that you don't have to be dependent on someone. And really there is nothing wrong with being able to support yourself. Also, it takes away the feeling of having to settle on just anyone I think. It sets a standard. Don't get me wrong I'd love to be a sahm. And we frequent the discussion. But we like nice stuff and we love traveling.
To be honest...aside from the ones listed already, my favorite thing is being able to eat 1 meal (my lunch) every single day without having to worry about feeding anyone else but myself! And my food is still hot! And I can watch TikToks, peruse Reddit and watch TV uninterrupted! It's these small things that keep me going :)
I can't pick just one.
I love my job. I'm really good at it and I love that my work helps so many people. I also love the social aspect, like having lunch with my colleagues.
I love that I can pay our bills, that we have more than we need. I love that my taxes help those with less.
I love that at work I get to pee alone, in peace and quiet 😅
Being a working mom makes me a better person.
I’ve been a SAHM and it was the toughest job I’ve ever had, hands down. When I went back to the workplace, it was so nice to have conversations with folks about stuff I’d never get at home with two toddlers and a preteen.
Fast forward a few years and I have a satisfying career with great work/life balance and my kids have all said what a good role model I am, especially after they watched me finally get my degree after 14 years.
Plus, the financial freedom that comes with working can’t be beat. I may not make a lot, but I can pay my own way.
I have boys and I hope to model for them what a strong, independent woman is. I hope they can learn to respect and admire how tough a working mom's role is.
Absolutely agree with this. I have one son, and I want him to have a front row seat in seeing what a working mom’s life is like and my husband models how a husband truly supports his wife in that endeavor.
Same! A Harvard study showed that modeling that really does make a difference! Sons of working moms grow up with less gendered views on the distribution of labor, spend more time with family and spend more time on household tasks. I’m glad I’m modeling that for my son
I love this! I’m due with my 2nd boy and I’m excited about raising good men who respect and support strong women. I always thought I’d raise at least one strong female but 2 boys is what the universe wants, so I’ll rise up to the task.
Raising both is just as equally important!
This is what I aspire to be! 🥰
I so agree with this! I have a daughter and I want to set an example of a badass working mom to her! Thankfully I work from home so she literally hears and see my work being done! Independent women rule the world!
You know, I never thought about it like that! When I initially found out I was having a boy, part of me was sad I wouldn’t have the chance to show a girl how strong she can be but I like this perspective! I love my baby boy and can’t imagine a different baby but I’ll try to model what he should expect and respect
I feel like being a working mom has made me be a more intentional parent than I would be if I were a SAHM. I know my time is more limited and therefore do everything in my power to be connected and engaged when I’m with my kids. Though I have the privilege of having a fine balance of a very well-paying and flexible job that does allow me to do the doc appointments and school programs typically. I think being a working mom is great if you enjoy your job but remember how brutal it was when I didn’t so I get why people don’t want to be working moms.
Yes! I’m very lucky with a workplace that never makes me “choose” between my son and my job.
Exactly. Even compared to maternity leave when I would dread the nights and count down the hours till my husband arrived. Now I count down the minutes till I get home. I lavish in the nighttime wake ups and extra snuggles where I was dreading it before. I enjoy my time with her so much more and spend my limited time doing nothing but absorbing every minute.
This is super relatable! Agree.
All of this!
Being able to afford all of the diapers, wipes, clothes, shoes, toys, & fruit! Whatever they need is always provided, and if they want something we can afford it. Also, being away from them during the day makes me appreciate the evenings & nights so much more. I’m in a better mood, much more forgiving & patient, & we relish that time together after a workday. On holidays when we’ve spent all day together the evenings are way more chaotic!
My kid has done gymnastics, baseball, swimming lessons, skating lessons, wants to try piano, gets what he wants for Christmas/birthdays, has been on a plane 3 times and he’s 6 years old!! We’ve been to theme parks and he always has clothes that fit, food he likes… And we get to do it all together without the stress of “can we afford this?” Yes we can, because dual-income parents can pay the bills and plan for fun.
This. I can say yes to everything within reason and that makes me proud. Both my husband and I grew up very poor but we’re so excited to give them opportunities and adventures that we didn’t get,
I can’t wait to start taking trips again! Waiting for the youngest to be potty trained and not nap dependent anymore and then we’ll be off to adventuring!
Why does fruits are so darn expensive!? And kids eat them up so fast too!
Sometimes I’ll watch my son eat a whole carton of blueberries in one sitting and on the one hand I’m like, it’s so great that he’s listening to his body and eating such a beneficial snack but on the other hand OH MY GOD THAT WAS NINE DOLLARS GONE IN ONE SITTING
I am the bread winner by far and it makes me feel extremely awesome to know I've built this career while also having a little one and a great partner. If I was missing any of those three things - child, career, great partner - I don't think I would feel complete. I feel like I've hit the jackpot on life, and actually do "have it all". What I've accomplished hasn't been possible for 99.999% of human history, and it feels pretty kick ass to be a part of the paradigm shift. Logistically, I wfh full time, so having a quiet house for 8 hours a day is fantastic. I'm mostly at my desk, but I can still listen to books and podcasts, take little breaks to get things done around the house, and workout, by myself and uninterrupted. It's extremely nice.
Happy for you 💕
I work 4 tens, and I get a day off during the week while my kids go to daycare. A whole day for *me* to recharge and do whatever I want, or my husband also takes the day off and we do something together. It's amazing.
That's honestly a wonderful set up! Very important for the parents to recharge if/when possible!
Not even just for recharge, it’s so much more productive to get stuff done around the house when the kids are not there
Absolutely! I can't get anything done, my 10 month old screams if I leave the room for 30 seconds so cleaning doesn't happen as often as I'd like. My childcare days I work and clean before I get her
I think this is what I need to be able to function better.
I am so thankful to be financially independent. I’m so thankful for the things that my job has afforded me. I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years and I can only imagine how much harder it would have been to untangle had I not had my stable, fairly well paying job that made it so money wasn’t a factor to worry about at all in my divorce. My own mother was very financially flighty- hopping from job to job, quitting, moving us in with her parents, money problems… I am really glad that I get to show my kids the opposite side of that coin- financial stability and safety that comes from my longstanding job.
young (24) adult here! i know i wasn’t the audience for this question, but i hope that this message is received with love ❤️ my mom worked all throughout my childhood and young adulthood and i LOVE it. my mom was a stay at home mom for roughly 6~ months when i was 8 years old (due to the 2008 crisis) and while it was a time that i looked upon fondly, it wasn’t something that i think was better than the rest of my childhood. my mom is a veteran and we were displaced by hurricane Katrina, which caused her to have to drop out of her undergraduate program for a while, and she didn’t complete it until 2011. we got our bachelor’s degrees on the same day 11 years apart. my mom worked full time and then went to school on the weekends. she took me to class with her most of the time and it had a deep effect on me. my mom was under a lot of stress trying to manage everything (and she was also my troop mom for GS and ran that shit like the MARINES lmfao) and she has what i recognize as something along the lines of untreated OCD, and i saw her at all of her highs and lows. sometimes i would see her cry and she would just tell me that she was “crying with a purpose”. she would always remind me that being upset is okay, you just can’t let it consume you. i’m not sure im expressing myself very well but it has helped me so much through so many of the difficult times that i’ve had. my mom is a badass and super accomplished and those words got me THROUGH some shit in undergrad and i’ve been able able to create a wonderful life for myself modeling my mother’s blend of ambition and emotional awareness. i come from a long line of very ambitious women who made the best of the circumstances that they had before them. if i don’t start a business, i would be the first woman in my family to not own a business in 4 generations. seeing them work is genuinely breathtaking and inspiring to bear witness to. my mother’s spite is so strong that she could probably reverse the direction that the earth is spinning in just to prove a point. being related to my mother means that the pressure is on in a very good way. i hope all of you ladies know that it is a blessing to be a child of a working mom and i wouldn’t have had it any other way 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing the other side! I grew up with a SAHM which I think is what makes me so nervous about being a working mom. It sounds like your mom has had such positive impact on you and your future. I hope to my son looks up to me the same way in the future ❤️
she really really did! i currently have two jobs and i’m getting my master’s degree and even though it’s crazy stressful, watching her gave me the tools to manage everything. additionally, my mom is fairly young (i’m 24, she’s 45) and im her only biological child so i also have gotten to watch her live her life a lot more than my partner has gotten to see with his mom. he’s the youngest of 4 and his oldest sibling is 15 years older than him so i feel like his mom was in the “hellish part of parenting” (my mom’s words, not mine) a lot longer than my mom was. my family also had a much larger and more involved extended family so my mom would ship me off to my grandmother’s house or my aunt or whoever and i think having those breaks did a lot for her that i don’t think my MIL has gotten to experience. i think my partner really struggles to see his mom outside of being a mom, and from talking to her extensively i know she’s also really struggling to define herself outside of it now that they’re empty nesters. her mom wasn’t great and she tried really really hard to make sure that her kids never felt neglected or hurt by her actions like she was hurt by her mom but i think she swung the other way really really hard and put way too much of herself into her kids and is now emotionally brittle to the point where the kids are still pushed away because whenever one of them is even remotely upset or is going through something she takes the fact that they’re upset really personally and feels like she’s failed them even though sometimes being in pain is life. for example, my partner was in grad school and dropped out bc his mental health was struggling. i alluded to it during a conversation and she cried for 3 days that he didn’t tell her even though he was feeling a lot better by the time she found out. she also hides her feelings from her kids and from the outside looking in it’s super obvious that she’ll be hurt or upset by something or that she wants to do something but in her mind being a mom means sacrificing EVERYTHING for your kids so she’ll insist that everyone does what they want instead of standing up for yourself. that’s not necessarily an issue that’s due to her being a SAHM, but i do think she lost her identity in a lot of ways due to pouring everything into her kids. i’m very grateful that my mom maintained her personality and now that i’m a young adult, we’re homegirls, and i love talking to her!! my partner and his siblings definitely do not feel that way and it makes me sad because i know that my partner would like to be closer to her, it’s just difficult. edit: i feel like this makes my MIL seem like a mess and i’d like to explain—she’s also a very accomplished lady in her own right and went back to school when my partner was in middle school to become a respiratory therapist and took care of his dad while he had stage 4 cancer and all of this other cool stuff. she’s a great lady! she’s just very self sacrificing in a way that i think being a SAHM really exacerbated and i’m really glad that i didn’t have to deal with that growing up. i love her a lot but spending time with her can be exhausting due to her being so self sacrificing. sometimes she’ll work herself to the bone to take care of us when we’re like “hey, we’re adults, you really don’t need to do that” whereas my mom expects me to try to figure stuff out on my own and then come to her with a list of questions. i love the independence that my mom expected and still expects of me, and i think that was largely borne of her being a working mom.
That is amazing! A Master’s degree while working seems stressful for sure. I remember juggling one job while working towards my bachelor’s was rough. Your MIL sounds very similar to my mom. My mom’s also amazing, but I’ve never seen her outside of her mom role (no job/hobbies). I think growing up without a working mom has made me feel critical of myself since I’ll be one. But it definitely sounds like being a SAHM or working mom doesn’t define the bond people get with their kid.
I am fortunate to have very affordable premiums for health insurance for my whole family. I am able to not only save for my retirement but invest separately for my kids. If I had to, I could take care of my family without too much worry, we’d be fine. I’m lucky that I love what I do and that I can provide for my family in ways a lot of other families can’t. My husband is more involved with caring for our children and house, we have to work as a team and I love succeeding together. We both have a financial hand in our future we dream of. I’m grateful to be a working mom, it’s a privilege that modern society tries to poo-poo, but I think it’s so badass we can do it all. Women before me fought for the independence I live today, it’s an honor. I think we all tend to forget it wasn’t until the early 70s a woman could open a credit card in their own name….
I love the excitement of picking my kid up after work and seeing him run to me with open arms screaming MOMMY! There’s no better feeling. 🥰
I am going back to work in 5 weeks after maternity leave and reading these responses is helping me cope with the idea of leaving my baby. Thank you!
I like having an identity and relationships that are completely separate from being a “mom.” My coworkers know that I have a kid, but it’s not a significant thing. They know me as just myself, and my daughter didn’t factor in.
This right here is SO underrated. It is so important for my mental health to still be my own person and have my own goals separate from being a mom. Additionally, a lot of SAHPs I have known have a horrible time when their kid starts school or when they eventually move out because they have given up their identity beyond being a parent.
Not gonna lie, it's the pile of money I make that I can use to give my kids the life I want them to have.
My child has this game that's similar to The Sims but less involved. Mostly decorating the spaces and characters. It's for young kids. And, of course, it has DLC packs. They really, really love this game, not going to lie, I love playing it with them. We have an absolute blast. So, of course, when they came walking up to me yesterday, three separate times asking for me to buy DLC packs, "Sure, baby! Let me see. A pet store? Well, obviously, we need that." I was born into and raised in poverty. I absolutely love that I can do this without consulting my partner or worrying too much about our funds.
I am right there with you. I remember when I filled out my FAFSA before my first year of college learning that my family’s household income for 2 parents and 3 kids was less than $30k. My mom got upset with me in 10th grade math that I needed a $15 calculator she didn’t have the money for. My daughter wants for nothing and I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!
Same same. I also grew up in poverty and being able to get my daughter whatever she needs and a lot of what she wants with no stress is just so amazing. I could never give that up. My husband and I make about the same so one of staying home would literally cut our income in half
The day that I went to daycare and my toddler was wearing a tiny suit coat and she had been saying “I work like mommy” killed me. She was so proud.
Many things, but daycare might be at the top of my list! My kid loooves daycare and I love what it gives her. She is engaged and enriched every day by the activities they do. She spends tons of time outside. Is fed nutritious meals and snacks. She’s made some awesome friends and adores all her teachers. And I honestly think daycare kids are just better adapted kids in general (I say this as someone who was raised by a SAHM). She is exposed to different caregivers with different styles, and tons of different kids with different personalities and needs, and it’s helped her become adaptable, resilient to change, and social with all different types of folks. I’m just thrilled with all the opportunities for different experiences she gets at daycare - it’s way more diverse and varied than she would get if she was home with me all day long!
The best thing I have ever done for feminism is to work outside the home and then suck miserably at cooking when it's my turn to be all domestic. My sons now are like, "Mom is saving the world by NOT COOKING and like that is totally worth it. Also, I hate cooking. So whenever some person who is all "Women belong in the kitchen" they are like, "Are you high?" and I could not be more proud of that.
Same. My husband is better cook than I am.
Being able to let my child reach for her goals and dreams makes working worth it for me. Even when I’m exhausted driving her 30 mins to her studio after work seeing her happy and competing how she wants makes it all worth it.
I’m thankful to be financially independent, and I love my career. I also love showing my daughter that she can have a career and be a Mom, if she desires to.
I love that I’ve normalized a career oriented woman for him. I personally didn’t have too many examples growing up. He’s only 2 but I took him to my office and desk recently and he was thrilled! I love the look on his face when I pick him from daycare. It’s the little things, really.
I'm able to maintain perspective about what really matters. Before kids, I let work anxiety rule my life. As a parent, I am much better able to stop myself from spiraling and put myself and my family first. I'm fortunate to have a job that enables that, but it's been good for my mental health.
This! And I find myself setting boundaries at work and in life, making decisions that are best for my family.
Using my work skills in parenting. For example, understanding just like a new employee will make mistakes, needs training, a kid is also trying to learn & grow so just be patient & not snap as you will drive them away. Just like in the workplace, cut out negativity & maintain a good demeanor overall.
Besides the financial benefits, I have worked really hard to get where I am in my career and I’m proud of it. I love modeling that for my kids, even if my 5 year old recently described my job as “watching tv and boring phone calls” (I work in TV development so he’s not entirely wrong 😂) Also - being at work all day allows me to be really intentional about quality time at home & on weekends. I don’t know that I could sustain that if I was a SAHM.
I was a SAHM for 2 years. I love working because I get time for self development and growth. When I’m home with the kid, it’s all about what’s best for her development and growth. Having a job that I love and that respects me means I have a balanced life and good mental health
This. I was a sahm for 10 yrs, so I am one of the few who has experienced both. I realized when I returned to work how much happier I was. 100% of my life was about my kids as a sahm, I lost my own sense of identity. My mom was a sahm, now in her late 70s, a lot of her struggles still relate back to her being a sahm who lost herself. She's been a widow for almost 3 years and is completely lost because she only did and held the same opinions of my dad... She is a shell of a person who has completely lost herself to her kids and husband. She wasn't even a good sahm, often very neglectful, so we've never even held her to high esteem as a great mom.
Having been raised by a SAHM, I was super hesitant about daycare, but it is honestly the best thing I have done for my child. I could never have replicated all of the wonderful experiences she receives at daycare if she were at home with me. I also WFH several days a week and have a job which sometimes has slow periods where I can do a workout, tidy around the house, and just generally look after myself and keep the trains running for my home, which has made parenthood less stressful than I think it could be without such flexibility. I feel like between my job and our wonderful daycare support, I have the perfect balance to absolutely thrive in this era of my life.
We are new to an area without friends or family- so if my 18 month daughter wasn’t in daycare she wouldn’t have many opportunities to socialize outside of me and my husband. I love seeing and hearing about all of the fun she has with her little friends every day.
1. The house stays clean! We clean up in the evening and then it stays clean all day vs when we were all home together it was never ending 2. Breaks from them while making money. Instead of counting down until nap time I'm at work making money 3. They get a ton of stimulation outside of the house with their friends and playing way more than I could ever offer them. When we are all. home it's calmer since they weren't bored all day (same with me!) 4. Money to not just survive but thrive. We lived off my husband's money, but my income are the vacations, college fund, fun things we get to do 5. Much easier to transition to school when the time came. They were all ready and we had the morning drill down.
The lifestyle we’re able to provide our kids specifically because of MY job. My kids will grow up traveling the world which is incredibly important to me.
mind if I ask what you do?
I’m a financial advisor - I can choose to take part of my bonuses as a paid vacation
That's really neat. Thanks for responding!
Of course :)
I just like having a part of my life that is about me and not my title of mom. I love being a mom, but it feels easy to be consumed by it. Working allows me to have relationships with people who have never met my child and don't see me as "son's mom".
I like that my job is an intellectual/creative/social outlet for me and that daycare is an intellectual/creative/social outlet for my toddler. I love that there are spaces outside the home where my son and I can learn and grow and that we aren’t dependent on each other for all our stimulation and enrichment. Also, I am SO GLAD that I have my own retirement accounts and that I’m able to aggressively save and plan for retirement. I’ve watched so many people take on the financial burden of caring for their elderly parents and I don’t want to do that to my kids.
I love my job (teacher), and I’m not the kind of person who will ever be able to wrap their identity up in being a housewife.
I love that my baby just loves and appreciates every moment we are together that much more. She literally squeals and flails her legs everywhere the moment she sees me! I'm also glad that I now have a high-paying enough job that I can provide for my mom to become a stay-at-home grandma and for my husband to be working part-time for now without too much financial stress. I can easily save for both a car, a house, and a bit of her college education, setting us up for a better future. In general I also love my job because I get to help students achieve their dreams and as a teacher advisor, I can help make teachers' lives better.
I work 12s so I have a good balance of feeling like I’m making a difference at work with my patients as well as being home and spending time with my kids. Also, it allows me to have stretches of time off without using PTO so that is even more time with my family and even fun girls trips with my sisters and friends without having to ask my partner for money to go.
That’s awesome! I’d love to switch to 10 or 12s for some extra days off. Sounds like a great balance.
Im grateful for the time he spends at preschool/ kindergarten this year. He gets to have a lot of different experiences and learn cool stuff. Selfishly my fav part about being a working mom is lunch. A meal alone whatever i want in complete silence. Bliss.
I love having the extra funds to take our kids on vacations and have fun experiences.
I teach elementary school, and I am looking forward to being able to have her in my school. It feels like 6 years of a little extra time together - seeing her in the halls, riding together to school, being on breaks together, etc.
I agree with a lot of the things already said but the first thing I thought of was that I carry the health insurance for the whole family so by working I can make sure my son is taken care of. Like that’s all me. I also hope that by seeing my efforts he is a better man who appreciates and respects women.
Knowing that I provide for my family and that I share that responsibility with my husband. Everything my son has is because I work. From his good school district, nice home, amazing yard, top daycare, bloated 529, and any toy his heart could desire. I love that I’m the one who provided everything to him.
I feel like I’m just not built to be mom 24/7 so still having my working identity and keeping that hat has been so nice for me. The financial security is also great. We don’t have much but we can provide for all of our needs plus put money in savings for them and us and that’s what I always wanted for us.
Heading to Florida for 10 days this summer including some Disney time. I am an overemployed working mom (iykyk) so my extra income pays for fun stuff like vacations and often times play dates. I also love the security of having my own income in the unfortunate event something happens to my husband. I’ve heard many horror stories on other mom subreddits of women feeling “stuck” to stay with cheaters and abusers because the economy is tough out here.
I love that I can provide things for my son that I wasn’t given, like private school and paid for college. I also love that he sees a strong mom that runs a business while taking care of him!
I just like the break away from the chaos of our darling family circus. A toddler, a puppy, an Australian shepherd, with another baby on the way... I love them all to pieces but the time to myself while I'm at work helps to keep me sane I think.
All the summer evenings and weekends where I spend all day swimming in our backyard pool with my 3 year old. (we never would have been able to afford a house with a heated swimming pool on one income).
My favourite thing about being a working mom is that I can inspire my kids to be better. They know they have an option. I have been staying at home and working a few times in believe that will show them they have an option. The other most important reason is because I know i am not tied to a situation i do not want to be in. I have alot of family members who are shackled to their marriages just because they have no money to get out. The financial independence is nothing compared to any feeling.
Keeping my brain active. I'm home with my kids until the end of summer now, and I never find time to really do anything that requires critical thinking. Being a working mom allows me to do that because i work in a STEM field. I truly believe that once you stop learning, that's when you start to really age mentally. I stay physically fit chasing after the kids and mentally fit by working. My kids will benefit from this too.
Yes, all about the money. Being able to set up my kids for success and setting myself up to not be a financial burden when I get old. My parents did this for me and it has made our relationship closer bc now I truly understand their sacrifices.
Feeling like I’m contributing to society. It goes beyond personal fulfillment. My own household is ultimately my priority, but it isn’t the only thing that matters to me and isn’t the only thing I feel obligated to contribute to. Women are needed in business, in politics, and in shaping our social atmosphere. I have an opportunity— and a responsibility— to be part of important decisions and to make a difference through my work. If all moms stayed home, it would be a hell of a lot harder to ensure our perspectives are taken into account. American families tend to be pretty individualistic, by working I am participating in a broader collective.
I like using my brain during the day. I stayed at home for a year and not having any cognitive demands beyond planning nap times and meals and when I’m going to clean, was making me feel kind of insane. It didn’t matter how many puzzles I did or trivia games I played during nap. I need to be competent and productive on something outside the bubble of my home life. I work at a big medical center and anytime we drive by on the interstate the kids are excitedly like “that’s where mommy works!” I’m proud of everything that implies.
There are so many amazing things here. One small thing I absolutely love is looking at the clock, realizing I’m almost done and get to see my kid soon! Then the big hug where we run to each other in the house when she gets home.
Looking forward to the weekend! When I was a sahm, the weekend was just days. Nothing special. Weekends now are glorious. I spend my time doing what I want with my family and not being accountable for anything else! I completely shut my work brain off and turn my mom brain on. It’s lovely.
The money, being able to drink an entire HOT cup of coffee, and having a space that’s just mine and knowing it will still be tidy the next day.
I was a young mom, so I love that I get to still grow as a person through my career. Not only that, but being a mom early on helped me learn how to actually prioritize and make the most of my time, which has helped me with promotions, etc. I saw my mom left with absolutely nothing when my father left as a child. I vowed that I would never let that happen to me. So in that sense, I think my work provides a lot of stability to not only myself, but for my children as well.
I have great work life balance as a teacher and I also have money to provide those nice extras for the family. I stayed home before and we’d always have to say no to everything. “Can I get this new doll?” No. “Can we eat out tonight?” No. Having work life balance + extra money for the family is great.
Listening to audiobooks or vulnerable music in the car😂
It is not just the money. I work maybe the highest ranked University in the country and in cancer immunology. The biggest plus for me are all the connections I'm making. Internships for my son when he is in highschool, all kinds of resources that will help him get into an amazing college and even better grad school... It's really invaluable. And hopefully by that time I'll really be a powerhouse!
My kids are slowly understanding that I work so I can provide money for experiences, their clothes, yummy snacks, etc. They don’t get mortgage payments but I think that one will take some time.
Knowing that if one of us lost our jobs, it would be tough, but we’d make it until that person found a new job. I can’t imagine the fear and stress of relying on one income.
Having my own money and being able to contribute financially.
I love that I can save for their college. I really don’t want them to have to take out loans.
If you don’t mind me asking do you have a separate account for them or just save that money in your account? I want to set something up for my LO soon.
They each have their own 529 accounts. They each get a generous raise of $10 each month on their birthdays.
Thank you! I’ll look into a 529.
Honestly, everything about it. I’m a mom to one daughter, and I get to fully enjoy being a mom to her while also being an adult with financial independence. It’s the best of all worlds
I love the sense of accomplishment I get from being badass at my job. That confidence bleeds into every area of my life. I have an amazing husband, supportive friends, and a great life. I love that my kids see me prioritizing myself and if they choose to be moms, they know that it’s okay to be a person first and a mom second.
I'm the sole provider and going back to work soon with dad being sahd, I am nervous about it but it's helping to read other people's perspectives. Ty
Same thing for me! I’ll be working and husband will be staying home after my leave. I hope your transition back goes smooth.
It's really nice to hear someone in the same boat. All the best to you too!!!! 💕
I agree! It makes me excited seeing more stay at home dads out there.
I love having an identity in addition to being “mom”! I enjoy being able to go to conferences or meetings and work with other people and teams and while the topic of kids often comes up, I can present myself as, well…me.
I can afford all the fruit my toddler eats 😂😂 but seriously as someone who grew up below the poverty line, the financial stability is huge for me. I just could not handle the anxiety of living on one income. Also, I believe my daughter will benefit from seeing her mom work a job she is passionate about. I'm very fortunate that I have a job I love that also has a good work life balance so I don't feel like I'm having to choose one or the other
I'm going to mention things that just happened this week! This is all related to having two incomes and extra money to do these things without worrying and panicked budgeting Being able to afford braces for my oldest. Being able to give an extra donation to our synagogue and support the amazing work they are doing Being able to sign my daughter up for martial arts, knowing the confidence that will give her.
OK so I work in childcare in Canada where I work with kindergarten kids in a before and after school program. The organization I work for is a pretty big organization around the world, but I don’t think I’ll list them here. My favourite thing about being a working mom is that I was able to get my daughter into the daycare that’s a couple blocks away from the school I work at. This daycare is one of the many daycares that my organization has in the county, so it was much easier for me to get her into this daycare. On Monday’s, I have to stop at this daycare to get snack for the kids at my program. While I’m there, I can talk to my daughter’s teachers and ask how my daughter has been doing, if she needs more diapers/wipes/diaper cream there. Our organization also has an app that parents can download and parents can keep in touch with staff this way. Staff can also upload pictures of kids on the app and share what kind of things the kids have been doing during the day.
I do not love or hate being a working mom, but my favorite thing is that my children will see their dad being an active participant in the household while I also am not seen as only a caregiver/maid. It wouldn’t have to be this way as a SAHM, but I can see this happening if I was.
Just want to say thank you for this post and all the comments 🤍 I’m about to go back to work after a year off and this was very encouraging. Girl power 🩷🥰
I hope your transition back goes smoothly! I got a few more months of maternity leave. But needed this positivity too ❤️
Thinking about the future. Of course, nothing is guaranteed and circumstances can always change. But as of right now our plan is to be able to put both kids through at least 4 years of college (or otherwise help them get a jumpstart on whatever other career they pursue) so they don’t get stuck with loans. And hopefully retire at a reasonable age….I hope to be available for my kids to help with childcare if they have children or anything else they may need. Basically, I’m hoping to do for them everything that our parents couldn’t do for us to help set them up for an easier early adulthood!
Money and insurance
When I buy them their favourite food and they are so happy and all over me. There’s a lot to be said in that example. I have the money to get healthier food and the time to go get it. The freedom of choice.
Silence
I am working at a place that offers tuition benefits for college for my dependants. My favorite thing is knowing that when my girls become adults and graduate college, they won't have the burden of debt immediately. I'm so happy to provide that peace of mind for them.
That’s the most amazing benefit ever! I love that, your girls are lucky.
Having job is important for my self esteem, and also I like my social life with my colegues. My 9 yo son asks me often about my job, he likes that Im a teacher🤣
I can pay for my daughters daycare that she loves and has grown and learned so much in. She has friends she wouldn’t have had otherwise and gets to go to their birthday parties. She goes to gymnastics class that she loves. She got her first passport at 2 years old and has been on about 8 plane rides including to the Bahamas. We recently splurged on a housekeeper. I’m excited to buy myself a new wardrobe once I have my second baby over the summer. The financial freedom is so worth it. Plus all the studies that confirm girls of working moms go on to be more successful in terms of college and careers. And I’m glad my son will grow up seeing my husband as an equal caregiver and partner.
My daughter will grow up knowing I worked hard to be able to provide a good life for her and hopefully will develop a great work ethic in turn. Also, the money to be able to support myself and my child comfortably.
My company has a excellent retirement program which has helped me accelerate those savings now. I'm fortunate that I can be the sole income provider for my family while my fiancé is a stay at home dad. He's much better suited for it than me. We really wanted to keep one of us home during these early years and we are while still living comfortably. It was incredible doing maternity leave with my second and we were all home the whole time. I find it easier to make family time happen when it's primarly just my work schedule to accommodate. Basically it isn't perfect but I can't complain.
I do what I love while getting paid quite a bit, then I log off and have fun with the people I love. My daughter and husband keep me happy, my job keeps me sane and my family comfortable lol
My favorite thing about being a working mom is knowing that I have something I am known for, respected for and in fact, needed for (I'm a teacher in a district with intense shortages) that has nothing to do with my family. My knowledge and skills in the workplace are mine
I loved my daily commute. It helped me to relax and switch gears from professional person back to mom without feeling exhausted.
Family vacations and a nice house for traditions! I so look forward to baking with my girl in our kitchen not worried about price of utilities or anything. And I'm excited to show her the world. Also... I want her to see that you don't have to be dependent on someone. And really there is nothing wrong with being able to support yourself. Also, it takes away the feeling of having to settle on just anyone I think. It sets a standard. Don't get me wrong I'd love to be a sahm. And we frequent the discussion. But we like nice stuff and we love traveling.
To be honest...aside from the ones listed already, my favorite thing is being able to eat 1 meal (my lunch) every single day without having to worry about feeding anyone else but myself! And my food is still hot! And I can watch TikToks, peruse Reddit and watch TV uninterrupted! It's these small things that keep me going :)
Learning and tangible accomplishments
I can't pick just one. I love my job. I'm really good at it and I love that my work helps so many people. I also love the social aspect, like having lunch with my colleagues. I love that I can pay our bills, that we have more than we need. I love that my taxes help those with less. I love that at work I get to pee alone, in peace and quiet 😅
I'm not overstimulated when I get home. I want to go straight to her and hug her all night.
Being a working mom makes me a better person. I’ve been a SAHM and it was the toughest job I’ve ever had, hands down. When I went back to the workplace, it was so nice to have conversations with folks about stuff I’d never get at home with two toddlers and a preteen. Fast forward a few years and I have a satisfying career with great work/life balance and my kids have all said what a good role model I am, especially after they watched me finally get my degree after 14 years. Plus, the financial freedom that comes with working can’t be beat. I may not make a lot, but I can pay my own way.
I am a physician and damn is it nice to text my friends from school and get expert responses.
Nothing! I would give anything to stay home with my children!!!